Grief

[therru]

You might think that being able to sleep in forever without getting woken up by a hungry or bored someone would be nice

Comments

[snowgrouse]

That's exactly what I got from Noki, too. And some of them were when I wasn't even fully asleep. I could distinctly feel her curling up to spoon me the way we did every night, and she started purring and comforting me. And you're absolutely right about the feeling of *grace* there. Like they really do come and comfort us, to give us just a few more snuggles because we are in such terrible pain without them. I don't give a whit about whether there's an afterlife for cats or if it's something cooked up by our own brain chemicals, it's a real phenomenon and it helps. While it hurts like hell at the same time (I'm crying again as I'm typing this). That presence of another living being being gone is *horrible.* Especially when it's old maids like us where the cat is there solely for us, loving only us, not judging us. I get the feeling Rosa was one of those intelligent cats, too, who was a friend and more than 'just a cat.' And I'm still not over the loss of mine and being left with just a 'normal' cat--whom I love, but it's still awful how big the gaps left by an extraordinary cat can be; with Doli I feel she only comes halfway with so many of our interactions because her IQ isn't up to the same level of communication and understanding I had with Noki. (And then I feel guilty for feeling that.) It's five months and I still cry for Noki several times a week, and probably will be crying for her for the rest of my life.

But enough about me--I am glad Rosa came to say hello and to comfort you in your grief. It shows just how much and how deeply and intimately you loved each other. And if you ever do get another cat, I pray that you'll find one who's very smart and who has a lively personality, enough to give you work to fill those empty places in you that are hurting from grief.

*GIANT HUGS*