Lots of thinky thoughts

[theron09]

Hey guys :)

Well, I've got another day of revising ahead of me but I don't even mind because it'll all be over for a while by lunch time tomorrow! I'm actually still feeling quite confident about this exam which is strange because I'm usually feeling nervous by this point. I don't know, I just feel like this exam is much easier than the one I did

Comments

[ai_kizu]

This turned long, and some parts may be inaccurate due to lack of watching eps.

I feel like a major part is John's role in the matter. John and Sam clashed big time, and I think for Sam's sanity and freedom he left. We are told pretty much that he wouldn't have replied to Dean's texts or anything but I wonder if that is more guilt than anything. Sometimes you have to cut everything off to start again even if it isn't something you always want to do, and we see how easily Sam falls back into the life and codependency with his brother. It's kind of tragic how much Sam felt he had a mind of his own (asylum ep) and almost did, but in the end he pretty much loses it and lives for his brother. Okay, that changes a bit in season 4 when his desire for strength overwhelmed him, but it stemmed from the weakness and vulnerability that Ruby manage to draw out of him after Dean died.

Oh and I imagine Sam realising his feeling when he got older but his memories in Heaven were probably around 12-15 years old I can't quite remember. It also depends on whether Heaven was playing with the memories to mess with Dean into saying "yes". That episode makes me question if what they saw was natural or fixed.

Taking a break. If you want to discuss anything else you can always message me or something.

[theron09]

Yeah, John's role is really important - I like him but I think that if he had been less stubborn then Sam could have gone to Stanford and stayed in touch. But then, I get that he just wanted to protect his sons and he couldn't keep watch over Sam the whole time if he went away.

I think Sam realised it when he was a bit older too, and I'd definitely wondered about whether Zachariah had messed around with their Heaven (the whole thing with Mary in that episode always made me think that.)

How did your exam go today?

[ai_kizu]

Yeah, I mean you see it in "The Song Remains the Same" where young John is shocked at what older John did. I guess it got to a level of over protectiveness that differed with Sam and Dean. Sam got it less directly and didn't quite understand it the same way as Dean.

Yeah, I think in hindsight Sam understands, but living in the moment is different.

Badly. I'm terrible at study and exams.

[theron09]

Yeah, that all makes sense. I think the fact that Sam was just a baby when Mary died has an affect on it too because he didn't witness the imediate fall-out/grief that Dean did.

Aww, I'm sorry to hear that it didn't go so well - I hope your next one goes better (that's tomorrow, right?)

[ai_kizu]

Yep it's tomorrow, ahhhhhhhhh. I'll be done by lunchtime though!