Fic: The Impossible Mark (Leverage/HIMYM)
Title: The Impossible Mark
Fandom: Leverage/How I Met Your Mother
Word count: 1502
Summary: Parker goes undercover at a party to get some information and learns something about herself along the way.
A/N: Written for the Secret Agent challenge at leverageland. Thanks to Sera for the beta!
Barney Stinson should have been an easy mark. A ladies man, a little drunk at a party, and out to have a good time. A perfect way of getting inside information on the corporate firm he worked for so that they could effectively plan a con that would help not just their clients but a great many people besides.
During their planning session a week earlier, Nate had suggested that Parker be the one to go in and grift, so that Sophie’s face would be new and she could perform the more difficult grift within the company. The idea hadn’t exactly made Parker happy to begin with, but she’d come around to it. It was for their clients, after all.
It was easy for Parker to sneak into the party thrown by Ted Mosby; there were always strangers at parties, people who seemed to appear out of nowhere and blend right on in. Parker’s whole character was built on that fact. It was predictably easy for her to get Barney’s attention, and to pretend to be enticed up onto the roof. After they ‘talked’, it was easy for Parker to slip him something and set it up to look as though they’d gotten a lot closer than they actually had - convincing enough that he bragged about her to people afterwards.
But convincing Barney Stinson to give anything personal away - about himself, about the company he worked for, about anything else other than the fact he wanted to have sex - was impossible.
Barney Stinson wasn’t such an easy mark after all. They’d underestimated him.
~
“You’ll just have to try again,” said Sophie. “It was the first time he met you; maybe he just needs to feel a little more comfortable with you before he talks. Look how long it took all of us to actually talk to each other, and we had an obvious reason to.”
Parker shook her head. “How am I supposed to try again? The party’s over.”
“I don’t know - you’ll run into him at his favourite bar, or you’ll happen to bump into him at that gym he likes to go to. There are so, so many different ways we can make it happen.”
“Sure,” said Hardison. “But it doesn’t even have to be that complicated. Looks like Ted - naïve, eager Ted Mosby - is throwing another party.”
“What? When?”
“Tonight. Hang on, let me finishing reading the text Barney’s just received. Okay, yeah, he’s throwing another party tonight for - oh, that is just adorable. And sad. Adorable or sad, I can’t decide. He’s throwing another party for Robin.”
Sophie smiled. “That’s adorable.”
“That’s sad,” said Parker at the same time.
Eliot snorted. “It’s desperate.”
Nate cleared his throat, pulling everyone’s attention back to the front of the room. “Either way, it gives you another chance at getting Mr. Stinson to give us what we need. Sophie, do you think you can get Carlos to go again? It’s not absolutely necessary but it would help sell the bit.”
“Of course I can. I’ll just tell him I’m definitely going to be able to make it this time. He’ll show up for me.”
Hardison snorted. “I think Carlos and Ted should set up a group for overly hopeful singles.”
“Poor Carlos,” said Sophie.
“He’s getting to go to a party.”
Sophie nodded. “But he isn’t getting to see me.”
~Parker’s second attempt didn’t go any better than her first. Neither did her third (although she did try and give Carlos some compensation for Sophie being missing from the party again). Barney Stinson, it seemed, was even more closed off than their research had revealed. Watching him, Parker realised that the only people at the party that he actually talked to instead of flirting with or showing off to were Ted, Lily and Marshall. She reported this back to her team the next day.
“I don’t think Barney’s as good an in as we thought he was. Maybe he does work for the evil multi-million dollar company but I think we’d get more information about said company from the guy who delivers the coffee. Or at least, I think I would. It’s probably me.” Parker frowned, tracing lines on the table in front of her.
Sophie tutted. “It’s not you. Your grifting has been improving, Parker. No, I think Barney Stinson is just someone who can’t really be conned for something like this. He’s built up too much of a shell around himself, like…” she trailed off.
“Like us,” Nate finished. “Don’t worry, we’ll find another way. We always do.”
~Parker was sitting in the small coffee shop across the street from Barney’s expensive apartment when Hardison came to find her. She gave the hacker a little smile, and pushed the rest of her chocolate cake towards him so he could finish it; she’d lost her appetite while she’d been sitting and thinking.
“I knew you’d be here.”
“How?” Parker asked, watching the windows of Barney’s apartment for any movement.
“Because you’re thinking too much,” said Hardison. “Some jobs just don’t go as smoothly as others - remember the Ice Man?”
“But this wasn’t really even much of a job, it was just intel gathering. Intel gathering and I couldn’t even grift enough for that.”
“Parker, girl, you were following Sophie’s advice. She made most of the decisions about the character and how you played her - now are you telling me you think it’s Sophie’s fault Barney wouldn’t talk to you?”
“No, but-”
“Then how could it be yours? Look, I’ve been looking through this guy’s text records an, actually, I think I should have picked up on his issues sooner. I don’t think there’s any way we could use him as an in. But that’s okay, because it’s a big company which means?”
Parker looked away from the apartment building and at Hardison instead. “It means lots of people, lots of ways to get information.”
“Exactly. In fact, Eliot’s working on something right now and then we’ll be able to work on getting our clients their money and their reputations back.”
Parker smiled, and they fell into a comfortable silence as Hardison ate. Sipping at her coffee, Parker let her gaze drift back over towards Barney’s apartment building. “I think it bugs me so much because he reminds me of me.”
“What do you mean?” Hardison smirked. “Do you lead a secret double life where you pick guys up every night?”
“Funny.” Parker scowled, and then continued. “I don’t talk to people, either. I don’t let people in, just like Barney. People at the party were joking about how Barney’s one of a kind, but I don’t know - I’m stranger than he is, aren’t I?”
“You’re different than he is. He pretends he’s constantly happy, which no-one can be. You sometimes struggle to relate to people; he doesn’t try to, but if he did he’d have no problem.” Hardison placed the fork he’d been using down and nudged Parker’s leg under the table. “But I can definitely see one similarity between you both.”
“What’s that?”
Hardison grinned. “You both struggle to let people in, but when you do? It’s gold. Me, Sophie, Eliot, Nate. Ted, Marshall, Lily. You and Barney both let your friends in. Maybe you don’t talk to a lot of people or have a lot of friends, but that makes you all the more loyal to the ones you do have. That’s a good thing, Parker.”
“Do you really think that?”
“I do. Look, go to MacLaren’s later and watch them - then think about when we all hang out. Promise me you’ll do that?”
“I promise.”
~
MacLaren’s Pub was the type of bar that pulled in both casual customers and regulars. Parker had learned that Barney’s group of friends, though, were perhaps even more than that: they were fixtures of the place. They had their own booth, knew all of the bartenders’ names, had automatic control over the jukebox. But more than that, they helped contribute to the atmosphere of the place with their laughter and stories, even hung-over after three different parties.
As Parker watched, staying out of sight, Barney regaled his friends with a story from his youth - probably very exaggerated, definitely very outrageous. But even so his friends listened, and as his story drifted away from fantasy and more towards the truth Barney talked more openly than he had at the party with Parker. She could see what Hardison had meant; this group of friends was close, and Barney wasn’t just the novelty, different one of the group that he first appeared to be. He was one of them.
Parker finished her drink and left, stood outside the bar in the fresh air waiting for Eliot to pick her up, and smiled. She was like Barney, and she was happy to be like him.
Fandom: Leverage/How I Met Your Mother
Word count: 1502
Summary: Parker goes undercover at a party to get some information and learns something about herself along the way.
A/N: Written for the Secret Agent challenge at leverageland. Thanks to Sera for the beta!
Barney Stinson should have been an easy mark. A ladies man, a little drunk at a party, and out to have a good time. A perfect way of getting inside information on the corporate firm he worked for so that they could effectively plan a con that would help not just their clients but a great many people besides.
During their planning session a week earlier, Nate had suggested that Parker be the one to go in and grift, so that Sophie’s face would be new and she could perform the more difficult grift within the company. The idea hadn’t exactly made Parker happy to begin with, but she’d come around to it. It was for their clients, after all.
It was easy for Parker to sneak into the party thrown by Ted Mosby; there were always strangers at parties, people who seemed to appear out of nowhere and blend right on in. Parker’s whole character was built on that fact. It was predictably easy for her to get Barney’s attention, and to pretend to be enticed up onto the roof. After they ‘talked’, it was easy for Parker to slip him something and set it up to look as though they’d gotten a lot closer than they actually had - convincing enough that he bragged about her to people afterwards.
But convincing Barney Stinson to give anything personal away - about himself, about the company he worked for, about anything else other than the fact he wanted to have sex - was impossible.
Barney Stinson wasn’t such an easy mark after all. They’d underestimated him.
~
“You’ll just have to try again,” said Sophie. “It was the first time he met you; maybe he just needs to feel a little more comfortable with you before he talks. Look how long it took all of us to actually talk to each other, and we had an obvious reason to.”
Parker shook her head. “How am I supposed to try again? The party’s over.”
“I don’t know - you’ll run into him at his favourite bar, or you’ll happen to bump into him at that gym he likes to go to. There are so, so many different ways we can make it happen.”
“Sure,” said Hardison. “But it doesn’t even have to be that complicated. Looks like Ted - naïve, eager Ted Mosby - is throwing another party.”
“What? When?”
“Tonight. Hang on, let me finishing reading the text Barney’s just received. Okay, yeah, he’s throwing another party tonight for - oh, that is just adorable. And sad. Adorable or sad, I can’t decide. He’s throwing another party for Robin.”
Sophie smiled. “That’s adorable.”
“That’s sad,” said Parker at the same time.
Eliot snorted. “It’s desperate.”
Nate cleared his throat, pulling everyone’s attention back to the front of the room. “Either way, it gives you another chance at getting Mr. Stinson to give us what we need. Sophie, do you think you can get Carlos to go again? It’s not absolutely necessary but it would help sell the bit.”
“Of course I can. I’ll just tell him I’m definitely going to be able to make it this time. He’ll show up for me.”
Hardison snorted. “I think Carlos and Ted should set up a group for overly hopeful singles.”
“Poor Carlos,” said Sophie.
“He’s getting to go to a party.”
Sophie nodded. “But he isn’t getting to see me.”
~Parker’s second attempt didn’t go any better than her first. Neither did her third (although she did try and give Carlos some compensation for Sophie being missing from the party again). Barney Stinson, it seemed, was even more closed off than their research had revealed. Watching him, Parker realised that the only people at the party that he actually talked to instead of flirting with or showing off to were Ted, Lily and Marshall. She reported this back to her team the next day.
“I don’t think Barney’s as good an in as we thought he was. Maybe he does work for the evil multi-million dollar company but I think we’d get more information about said company from the guy who delivers the coffee. Or at least, I think I would. It’s probably me.” Parker frowned, tracing lines on the table in front of her.
Sophie tutted. “It’s not you. Your grifting has been improving, Parker. No, I think Barney Stinson is just someone who can’t really be conned for something like this. He’s built up too much of a shell around himself, like…” she trailed off.
“Like us,” Nate finished. “Don’t worry, we’ll find another way. We always do.”
~Parker was sitting in the small coffee shop across the street from Barney’s expensive apartment when Hardison came to find her. She gave the hacker a little smile, and pushed the rest of her chocolate cake towards him so he could finish it; she’d lost her appetite while she’d been sitting and thinking.
“I knew you’d be here.”
“How?” Parker asked, watching the windows of Barney’s apartment for any movement.
“Because you’re thinking too much,” said Hardison. “Some jobs just don’t go as smoothly as others - remember the Ice Man?”
“But this wasn’t really even much of a job, it was just intel gathering. Intel gathering and I couldn’t even grift enough for that.”
“Parker, girl, you were following Sophie’s advice. She made most of the decisions about the character and how you played her - now are you telling me you think it’s Sophie’s fault Barney wouldn’t talk to you?”
“No, but-”
“Then how could it be yours? Look, I’ve been looking through this guy’s text records an, actually, I think I should have picked up on his issues sooner. I don’t think there’s any way we could use him as an in. But that’s okay, because it’s a big company which means?”
Parker looked away from the apartment building and at Hardison instead. “It means lots of people, lots of ways to get information.”
“Exactly. In fact, Eliot’s working on something right now and then we’ll be able to work on getting our clients their money and their reputations back.”
Parker smiled, and they fell into a comfortable silence as Hardison ate. Sipping at her coffee, Parker let her gaze drift back over towards Barney’s apartment building. “I think it bugs me so much because he reminds me of me.”
“What do you mean?” Hardison smirked. “Do you lead a secret double life where you pick guys up every night?”
“Funny.” Parker scowled, and then continued. “I don’t talk to people, either. I don’t let people in, just like Barney. People at the party were joking about how Barney’s one of a kind, but I don’t know - I’m stranger than he is, aren’t I?”
“You’re different than he is. He pretends he’s constantly happy, which no-one can be. You sometimes struggle to relate to people; he doesn’t try to, but if he did he’d have no problem.” Hardison placed the fork he’d been using down and nudged Parker’s leg under the table. “But I can definitely see one similarity between you both.”
“What’s that?”
Hardison grinned. “You both struggle to let people in, but when you do? It’s gold. Me, Sophie, Eliot, Nate. Ted, Marshall, Lily. You and Barney both let your friends in. Maybe you don’t talk to a lot of people or have a lot of friends, but that makes you all the more loyal to the ones you do have. That’s a good thing, Parker.”
“Do you really think that?”
“I do. Look, go to MacLaren’s later and watch them - then think about when we all hang out. Promise me you’ll do that?”
“I promise.”
~
MacLaren’s Pub was the type of bar that pulled in both casual customers and regulars. Parker had learned that Barney’s group of friends, though, were perhaps even more than that: they were fixtures of the place. They had their own booth, knew all of the bartenders’ names, had automatic control over the jukebox. But more than that, they helped contribute to the atmosphere of the place with their laughter and stories, even hung-over after three different parties.
As Parker watched, staying out of sight, Barney regaled his friends with a story from his youth - probably very exaggerated, definitely very outrageous. But even so his friends listened, and as his story drifted away from fantasy and more towards the truth Barney talked more openly than he had at the party with Parker. She could see what Hardison had meant; this group of friends was close, and Barney wasn’t just the novelty, different one of the group that he first appeared to be. He was one of them.
Parker finished her drink and left, stood outside the bar in the fresh air waiting for Eliot to pick her up, and smiled. She was like Barney, and she was happy to be like him.