May 10, 2007 22:33
I feel like you think I expect so much. But I dont. And its so frustrating right now. Because Im trying not to be selfish but I cant just not be bothered by it. Im in love with you. You drive me crazy sometimes, but I'm so in love that I just dont care. Because it doesnt matter that your work schedule makes me feel like the mall is officially evil. And it doesnt matter that Im about 2 seconds away from killing whoever it was that decided research papers should be mandatory in our senior year. Or that your not immune to all sicknesses or to getting tired. I get butterflies every time i see you. Whch I find way to wierd for comfort and am not really sure how to handle. Yould think after this long Id be used to it. Im not. I get excited everytime you call. And even when Im furious with you, all I have to do is see you or have my phone say your calling and Im over it. Atleast for the most part. You make me so happy. ANd even if Im not loving the amount I get to see you right now Im not mad at you for it. I know its not your fault. And I know your trying. So I wish you wouldnt be upset that Im stressed about it all right now. Im not stressed at you. Im stressed at the situation. And I know its going to get better. Im goign to try to not focus on it right now. I just want to enjoy being with you when I can. I just wish my heart didnt feel so heavy right now.