This is for the People of the Sun
She left me. It is for the better. I have realised over the last 3 years that I am and never was a person meant for some types of relationships, and one of those types is the traditional kind where you live and love together and pretty much own each other until the end of time. I am not to be owned. I know this because the person i am and the person I was when I started this are different people, but not so substantially that I can never be myself again. I feel like a bottled flame - eventually, I went out because I couldn't breathe. I realise that I have too much fire in my spirit, and I burn people. I used to be bright, inspired, even inspiring, and that has all gone to embers, though I have a feeling I will find myself quite alight once more someday, and sooner than I expect.
As for now I am the thing I almost dread most being, a single parent. As relationships go, parent is not for me, either, despite being very good at doing it. Responsibilities are one thing, but connections are another, and it is terrible to have something you can't stand to lose, because your life is bound to it, as mine is to my daughter. The problem with this is I know the ways of my life again, and it is not forgiving of my attempts to forge my own path. When I lost Noble I said I didn't ever want to lose anyone again because I couldn't change my life enough to be with them, and now I see that no matter how much you change your life, it is very possible to lose anything. The best you can do is not to compromise who you are, so no more compromises, except for my little miss.
In any event now you all know, and that's all I care to say at this time.
As for now I am the thing I almost dread most being, a single parent. As relationships go, parent is not for me, either, despite being very good at doing it. Responsibilities are one thing, but connections are another, and it is terrible to have something you can't stand to lose, because your life is bound to it, as mine is to my daughter. The problem with this is I know the ways of my life again, and it is not forgiving of my attempts to forge my own path. When I lost Noble I said I didn't ever want to lose anyone again because I couldn't change my life enough to be with them, and now I see that no matter how much you change your life, it is very possible to lose anything. The best you can do is not to compromise who you are, so no more compromises, except for my little miss.
In any event now you all know, and that's all I care to say at this time.