The Therogon Effect
Ahh... what is the Therogon Effect you say? Don't look to my screen name. Like I said, January 9, 2004 when I opened this damn thing, I am not Therogon. Not really. I am Therogon's Dragon. Therogon is a representation of me, all the worst parts reflected in something/somebody else. That's what the Therogon effect is about. It's an observation, and it's worth writing about, because it deals in cosmic balance, and analytically, that is my stock and trade. What would a dragon like me do without naturally occurring cycles? Well this one is the sum-all be-all of Dragons. It deals with the Draconic cycle, a much-disused part of mythology. On a side-note, I had to formalise my finding because Joseph Campbell has screwed it all up about dragons. Dragons are not psychological obstacles to people's egos. In legends, dragons are often misrepresented as hoarders of desired possessions, which I can see the confusion, but don't confuse simplicity with the complexity of true beings. Simply put, Dragons are the other spirits of people. Probably people you know. To look act and talk like humans is not necessarily to be one. For instance, aliens in sci-fi flicks aren't really human, but they are sentient and they possess human qualities. Does it make sense, then, that nature in her wisdom would endow the human animal with a like spirit as the gods do? I think so. Rarely, perhaps, but I've met a few people of the dragon in my time and I'm still young. I guess it has to do with how you face life. Natural law has no mystery to Dragons, just people, and the celebration of life. Also, there's a certain predestination that comes from being natural, ie - no freedom to choose. I mean, I make choices I suppose, but I think it's more a part of natural order than what I really want, so it's obviously in my best interest to tune myself in to that destiny.
What it all means is that the Draconic cycle is a mockery of human psychology. Dragons also represent a dual nature, but it is more concrete than complex psyches. It is true duality, the confluence of opposite forces. One, obviously, is the dragon - the sacred earth spirit, dealing with life and living things, and the other is Therogon - the profane spirit, which deals with the destruction of life and the emptiness of natural order. They are not truly opposite things, more like complimentary. The role of Therogon - The Darkness as I like to call it really - is to maintain a very old balance. As we are not in paradise, chaos is invited to stay, and the world as it is reborn many times must be inevitably destroyed first. Without the Darkness this is not possible. Only a whole Dragon, in tune with what I call the six natural energies (fire, water, earth, air, spirit, and void), at an equal par with its own Therogon, can destroy and revive the world for the spirits to take root in again. Basically I mean to say, no dragon is a dragon without Therogon.
And I am not whole without it. As it is I am not really complete because my dragon is both things in essence but not either. And I cannot be a Dragon unless Therogon exists. I think, then, that someone is fated to take this part in my life, to become Therogon. Perhaps another person of the dragon. Which means the conflict of my character will disappear, contrasted against the character of a companion. Which means basically the best in me will mean the worst in someone else. Therogon is not "evil" but it is a destructive thing. It isn't heartless but it is necessarily cruel. And really, who in hell would want to be that anyway?
Funny how the past gives answers. Even around humans, the tendencies of my worst nature get the better of a lot of situations, except in love. In love, I shine. Because it seems most natural for me, when I love, I am more completely a dragon. And unfortunately, my other is more fully Therogon. I call this the Therogon Effect, because it happens every time, and it's always pretty bad. Meaning most woman can't handle the worst in themselves. After a while, I've gotten used to the idea that this is what I'm meant for, so the woman I end up with, the one who eventually becomes my own Therogon, is pretty outstanding. She will have to love me and stand by that love through the worst parts of herself despite the best of me. What's worse is she'll probably have to understand that we're both part of that whole, and not hate herself for her part in it. That's what's most important, because noone's stood up to it for long. I've seen very wonderful women in my life lose it over this - and it's not that they were ever inherintly cruel, it was just that they were capable but not culpable. Not many can really live and be happy in the Darkness. Like I said, it's an emptiness; but that's something they bring in them. I don't really ever do anything to cause it, it's just nature balancing me out. Trying to balance another person against me.
So because I'm generally good at heart, I surmise that the woman I end up loving forever is generally not. Probably particularly vain, but really at the end perfect in every detail for me. Meaning much like me, or at least, the less-personable qualities in me.
In any case, I hope she's strong and sure of who she is, because really, I can't see someone less outstanding than I am (sorry if that sounds like I'm tooting my own horn, but c'mon, if you really know me...) being the other half of me. And I hope she expects the same from me. And that'll be a love I'd give up the world for.
What it all means is that the Draconic cycle is a mockery of human psychology. Dragons also represent a dual nature, but it is more concrete than complex psyches. It is true duality, the confluence of opposite forces. One, obviously, is the dragon - the sacred earth spirit, dealing with life and living things, and the other is Therogon - the profane spirit, which deals with the destruction of life and the emptiness of natural order. They are not truly opposite things, more like complimentary. The role of Therogon - The Darkness as I like to call it really - is to maintain a very old balance. As we are not in paradise, chaos is invited to stay, and the world as it is reborn many times must be inevitably destroyed first. Without the Darkness this is not possible. Only a whole Dragon, in tune with what I call the six natural energies (fire, water, earth, air, spirit, and void), at an equal par with its own Therogon, can destroy and revive the world for the spirits to take root in again. Basically I mean to say, no dragon is a dragon without Therogon.
And I am not whole without it. As it is I am not really complete because my dragon is both things in essence but not either. And I cannot be a Dragon unless Therogon exists. I think, then, that someone is fated to take this part in my life, to become Therogon. Perhaps another person of the dragon. Which means the conflict of my character will disappear, contrasted against the character of a companion. Which means basically the best in me will mean the worst in someone else. Therogon is not "evil" but it is a destructive thing. It isn't heartless but it is necessarily cruel. And really, who in hell would want to be that anyway?
Funny how the past gives answers. Even around humans, the tendencies of my worst nature get the better of a lot of situations, except in love. In love, I shine. Because it seems most natural for me, when I love, I am more completely a dragon. And unfortunately, my other is more fully Therogon. I call this the Therogon Effect, because it happens every time, and it's always pretty bad. Meaning most woman can't handle the worst in themselves. After a while, I've gotten used to the idea that this is what I'm meant for, so the woman I end up with, the one who eventually becomes my own Therogon, is pretty outstanding. She will have to love me and stand by that love through the worst parts of herself despite the best of me. What's worse is she'll probably have to understand that we're both part of that whole, and not hate herself for her part in it. That's what's most important, because noone's stood up to it for long. I've seen very wonderful women in my life lose it over this - and it's not that they were ever inherintly cruel, it was just that they were capable but not culpable. Not many can really live and be happy in the Darkness. Like I said, it's an emptiness; but that's something they bring in them. I don't really ever do anything to cause it, it's just nature balancing me out. Trying to balance another person against me.
So because I'm generally good at heart, I surmise that the woman I end up loving forever is generally not. Probably particularly vain, but really at the end perfect in every detail for me. Meaning much like me, or at least, the less-personable qualities in me.
In any case, I hope she's strong and sure of who she is, because really, I can't see someone less outstanding than I am (sorry if that sounds like I'm tooting my own horn, but c'mon, if you really know me...) being the other half of me. And I hope she expects the same from me. And that'll be a love I'd give up the world for.