Are you guys cold enough yet?
Why haven't I seen this before, I mean REALLY? It was all over the place.
I think the fact that I thought it would be better to have a male record executive set it all off. I never think about it, but automatically I thought it would be more realistic. This, however, doesn't necessarily say as much as it seems. I was simply reflecting the world around me - if the world around me is still relatively sexist, then when I try to depict it, I'll have to make a sexist depiction. Or perhaps it has to do with simple stereotyping - in the film, we were creating archetypes, not nuanced characters. The wealthy, out-of-touch, middle-aged, soulless Record Executive is pretty much exclusively male. That could even be a COMPLEMENT to the fairer sex.
But playing Risk tonight, I saw more of the picture. I hate losing in general - I mean, it's not a particular hangup, but who WANTS to lose? Anyway, the fact is that if I can see a way out of losing, or at least delaying it, then I'll try to take it. But when I saw that Mo had the opportunity to take me out, not only did I not mind it when it happened, I actually told her how to do it. I mean, I dunno what she was planning on doing, she might have been planning to do this anyway, but I made SURE she took me out. If Andy had been in her position, for example, I never would have told him how - I would have hoped he didn't see it, and if he never did, maybe even pointed it out later and been like, oooh, that sucks, you could have just won if you'd have seen that. Keep in mind this is nothing against Andy (or even FOR Mo, actually). It was just the natural inclination I had, and it made me think a little bit.
I don't mind being beaten by girls, but with every male in my life, almost every aspect of my interaction with them has an element of competition in it, and I can't stand losing to them. I'm not going to go into examples, 'cus it would be a pain in the butt, but trust me, they're there.
So I have to ask myself, why is this? What does this mean? This means more than the record executive thing, because it shows exactly the way I feel, and not what the world seems to be. And what's more, I acted on this feeling for a long time before I recognized its existence, which means it's not just some silly thought, this is really something IN my head, wired into the way I think. But it's more than just ME, it seems to be linked to race - it follows male stereotypes. I like to think I can control stuff like that, that really there are few huge differences in males and females that haven't been instilled in them by the society they live in, but here I am acting on something like that naturally. It's not out of the question that I act like that because of social influence, but even more than gender difference, I KNOW I can resist if I want to, and even if I WANT to resist this new tendency, I don't think it would be easy. I could possibly resist acting on it, but the inclination and feelings would remain I think.
Seriously, what does this mean? Do I just think women aren't a threat? Is it just a sexual kinda thing? An alpha male thing with other guys?
Whatever it is, I'm pretty sure I don't like it. But who knows, it could be another one of those things that seem bad at first, but I later realize aren't simply because they're true. (Prime example, in case you don't remember this post: "There is no truth, there is only you and what you make the truth." I thought that was horrible at first because it meant that there was no absolute truth, and thus no way to live a good life because there wasn't one life that was any better - all different paths were completely valid and equally worth living, so there was absolutely no reason to choose any one thing. Now, I can't even tell why that should be a bad thing, really.)
I think the fact that I thought it would be better to have a male record executive set it all off. I never think about it, but automatically I thought it would be more realistic. This, however, doesn't necessarily say as much as it seems. I was simply reflecting the world around me - if the world around me is still relatively sexist, then when I try to depict it, I'll have to make a sexist depiction. Or perhaps it has to do with simple stereotyping - in the film, we were creating archetypes, not nuanced characters. The wealthy, out-of-touch, middle-aged, soulless Record Executive is pretty much exclusively male. That could even be a COMPLEMENT to the fairer sex.
But playing Risk tonight, I saw more of the picture. I hate losing in general - I mean, it's not a particular hangup, but who WANTS to lose? Anyway, the fact is that if I can see a way out of losing, or at least delaying it, then I'll try to take it. But when I saw that Mo had the opportunity to take me out, not only did I not mind it when it happened, I actually told her how to do it. I mean, I dunno what she was planning on doing, she might have been planning to do this anyway, but I made SURE she took me out. If Andy had been in her position, for example, I never would have told him how - I would have hoped he didn't see it, and if he never did, maybe even pointed it out later and been like, oooh, that sucks, you could have just won if you'd have seen that. Keep in mind this is nothing against Andy (or even FOR Mo, actually). It was just the natural inclination I had, and it made me think a little bit.
I don't mind being beaten by girls, but with every male in my life, almost every aspect of my interaction with them has an element of competition in it, and I can't stand losing to them. I'm not going to go into examples, 'cus it would be a pain in the butt, but trust me, they're there.
So I have to ask myself, why is this? What does this mean? This means more than the record executive thing, because it shows exactly the way I feel, and not what the world seems to be. And what's more, I acted on this feeling for a long time before I recognized its existence, which means it's not just some silly thought, this is really something IN my head, wired into the way I think. But it's more than just ME, it seems to be linked to race - it follows male stereotypes. I like to think I can control stuff like that, that really there are few huge differences in males and females that haven't been instilled in them by the society they live in, but here I am acting on something like that naturally. It's not out of the question that I act like that because of social influence, but even more than gender difference, I KNOW I can resist if I want to, and even if I WANT to resist this new tendency, I don't think it would be easy. I could possibly resist acting on it, but the inclination and feelings would remain I think.
Seriously, what does this mean? Do I just think women aren't a threat? Is it just a sexual kinda thing? An alpha male thing with other guys?
Whatever it is, I'm pretty sure I don't like it. But who knows, it could be another one of those things that seem bad at first, but I later realize aren't simply because they're true. (Prime example, in case you don't remember this post: "There is no truth, there is only you and what you make the truth." I thought that was horrible at first because it meant that there was no absolute truth, and thus no way to live a good life because there wasn't one life that was any better - all different paths were completely valid and equally worth living, so there was absolutely no reason to choose any one thing. Now, I can't even tell why that should be a bad thing, really.)