Back From The Dead
I can't believe I'm doing this.
I'm bringing Rapid Fire back.
There are a lot of things I have to work out (i.e. format, when am I going to write this thing?), but the truth is I miss coming up with stuff on a weekly basis. There's a lot more to it than this... but that's for another time.
I wonder if I still have it. I wonder if people even remember me. I wonder if it'll be any good. I wonder if this is the time when I get what I want most of all - respect.
So much to wonder about. I'm going to make myself sick.
Fuck it. Here's why I want back in.
- We're sort of lacking in the columns department. AW has Tribunals to worry about, O'Reilly and AJ are coming along nicely, and Liquidcross is still Liquidcross. I'm not sure if I'm the top guy anymore, but I'd like to try.
- I was reading Bill Simmons' 2004 retrospective and he was very open about his work. Talking about how some of it sucked. Talking about how some of it was inspired. And it made me realize just how much I missed doing this every week. There's a certain imperfection about doing a weekly column - you never know what you're going to get, and you have no idea how good it is until it's been read by 1,000 people. It's a rush unlike anything else, and I miss it.
- The features I was writing were ridiculously complex and were dominating my life. There was no way i could go back. I probably gained about 15 pounds in October and November by not working out and eating Krispy Kreme and drinking Mountain Dew all day so i could have the energy to devote to the features I was working on. I'm extremely proud of them; however, I have to put my health and peace of mind first. After all, the goal was to have more time to myself, not less.
- Time is running out. I have 18 months to get the job of my dreams before I have to start worrying about supporting a wife. I figure if I'm writing a column a week, my name is out there a heck of a lot more often, and I can always point to the features I've done as proof of what I can do if given a month to focus on one topic. And while it's still a pipe dream, I'm not giving up just yet. I CAN support my family and do what I've always dreamed of doing, but it's going to take effort from yours truly for that to happen.
- I want respect. Industry types read Retrograding all the time and told Alex what they thought. Executives might have read my stuff - hell, I know they did - but I never moved them enough to solicit any sort of feedback from them or any acknowledgement on their part that I existed. I want that to change. People talk about that "Game Over" guy from CNN all the time. Granted, he's got a heck of a podium to speak from. But I've written a LOT of good stuff over the past two years, and I've made a LOT of good points in that period of time.
For Example: I'm not saying Nintendo read my column about them from August 03 and used bits and pieces of it for their actual strategy... but I'm not saying they didn't, either.
I have been reading some of my old stuff recently, and I'm amazed by its quality. I miss being capable of doing that, and I'd hate to think that it's in the past. There was some really revolutionary stuff in those columns - a view that nobody's heard before, and I'm proud as hell of that. I want to continue that, and I want to be noticed, and I want to push the envelope for gaming journalism to a whole new level.
I can't wait to start.
I'm bringing Rapid Fire back.
There are a lot of things I have to work out (i.e. format, when am I going to write this thing?), but the truth is I miss coming up with stuff on a weekly basis. There's a lot more to it than this... but that's for another time.
I wonder if I still have it. I wonder if people even remember me. I wonder if it'll be any good. I wonder if this is the time when I get what I want most of all - respect.
So much to wonder about. I'm going to make myself sick.
Fuck it. Here's why I want back in.
- We're sort of lacking in the columns department. AW has Tribunals to worry about, O'Reilly and AJ are coming along nicely, and Liquidcross is still Liquidcross. I'm not sure if I'm the top guy anymore, but I'd like to try.
- I was reading Bill Simmons' 2004 retrospective and he was very open about his work. Talking about how some of it sucked. Talking about how some of it was inspired. And it made me realize just how much I missed doing this every week. There's a certain imperfection about doing a weekly column - you never know what you're going to get, and you have no idea how good it is until it's been read by 1,000 people. It's a rush unlike anything else, and I miss it.
- The features I was writing were ridiculously complex and were dominating my life. There was no way i could go back. I probably gained about 15 pounds in October and November by not working out and eating Krispy Kreme and drinking Mountain Dew all day so i could have the energy to devote to the features I was working on. I'm extremely proud of them; however, I have to put my health and peace of mind first. After all, the goal was to have more time to myself, not less.
- Time is running out. I have 18 months to get the job of my dreams before I have to start worrying about supporting a wife. I figure if I'm writing a column a week, my name is out there a heck of a lot more often, and I can always point to the features I've done as proof of what I can do if given a month to focus on one topic. And while it's still a pipe dream, I'm not giving up just yet. I CAN support my family and do what I've always dreamed of doing, but it's going to take effort from yours truly for that to happen.
- I want respect. Industry types read Retrograding all the time and told Alex what they thought. Executives might have read my stuff - hell, I know they did - but I never moved them enough to solicit any sort of feedback from them or any acknowledgement on their part that I existed. I want that to change. People talk about that "Game Over" guy from CNN all the time. Granted, he's got a heck of a podium to speak from. But I've written a LOT of good stuff over the past two years, and I've made a LOT of good points in that period of time.
For Example: I'm not saying Nintendo read my column about them from August 03 and used bits and pieces of it for their actual strategy... but I'm not saying they didn't, either.
I have been reading some of my old stuff recently, and I'm amazed by its quality. I miss being capable of doing that, and I'd hate to think that it's in the past. There was some really revolutionary stuff in those columns - a view that nobody's heard before, and I'm proud as hell of that. I want to continue that, and I want to be noticed, and I want to push the envelope for gaming journalism to a whole new level.
I can't wait to start.