God, I hate February...
A few weeks ago I was going to tie a string around my finger to remind me to have my friend kick me in the balls (you know, to celebrate being alone). But then I realized there is a whole day during the month of February dedicated to that very aim.
So instead, for the 14th, I have eagerly made arraignments with all the Soccer players that I know. Every hour, on the hour, I will stop what I am doing, and assume a vulnerable position so my athletic counterparts can rein a unique blend of frustrating, helpless, and merciless pain on my nuts. And why not? I won’t be needing them for anything, anyway.
To cap off the day I think I will get shitty, go to the nicest restaurant in town, puke on a couples dinner, then punch a waiter in the face. It is shaping up to be the best Valentines Day of my life. One more thing… someone, anyone really, shoot me in the face.
-Jay
So instead, for the 14th, I have eagerly made arraignments with all the Soccer players that I know. Every hour, on the hour, I will stop what I am doing, and assume a vulnerable position so my athletic counterparts can rein a unique blend of frustrating, helpless, and merciless pain on my nuts. And why not? I won’t be needing them for anything, anyway.
To cap off the day I think I will get shitty, go to the nicest restaurant in town, puke on a couples dinner, then punch a waiter in the face. It is shaping up to be the best Valentines Day of my life. One more thing… someone, anyone really, shoot me in the face.
-Jay