De Night Fo' Krimmas, Bwah!
'Twas (What dat mean, bwah?) de night fo' Krimmas, when all tru de house
Wudn't no creature be stirrin', ain' even seed no mouse; (Cuz I done beat em, bwah!)
De woodbox be stuck by de fireplace wit care,
Hopin' dat dat some prime woo' might git its ass dere;
Dem chilluns wuz sleepin' all up in dey beds
Dey stank like sheeps an' snore like dere be rocks in dey heads;
And mah beesh all nekkid, an' me in mah 'jamas wit' de feet,
We done gone t' bed t' kick it an' sleep!
When out on mah lawn I heared such a clatta,
I jump outta mah bed and yell "What de matta?!?"
On t' de winnow I flew like some flash,
Tore open dem shutters, bwah, an' threw up de sash! (What a sash is?)
De moon shinin' down on all dat snow
It light up everything all down below
When I done seed me de damndest thing
It be a big sled, bwah, an' dere wuz mah KING!
Dat sled be flyin', bwah, all ovah mah town
How a reindeer be pullin' when he feet off de groun'?
Mo' rapid dan soccer playas dem reindeers done kick,
And he whistle an' shout an' tell 'em BEATCHU MAH MAHOGANY STICK!
"Beatchu Dasher! Beatchu Dancer! Beatchu Prancer an' Vixen!
Beatchu Comet, beatchu Cupid, beatchu Donner an' Blitzen!
Set down on de roof an' don' go nowhere
O' when I gets back, I beatchu so bad it curl yo' hair!"
I swear, bwahs, I ain' neva seed no reindeers fly
But what you call it when dey comes out de sky?
So up on mah house dem reindeers done flew,
Wit de sled full o' woo', an' mighty King Rev'ren' too!
An next thing I know, I hears on de roof
De prancin' an' pawin' o' each lil hoof (Stop all dat prancin' an' pawin', bwahs, you wake up de chilluns!)
Den dey done quit, an I be turnin' roun',
And dere be King Rev'ren', bwah, an he say "Bow!"
He be wearin he robe, an' he crown too
An he lookit me, an he say "Bwah, Ah beatchu!"
He had he stick in he han' and prime woo' on he back
I so excited, feel like I been smoking some crack!
He dump all dat woo' on mah livin' room flo',
I knew dat mah beesh soon be cleanin' some mo'.
An' he leave me some brew if I couldn' sleep
Cuz Lawd knows I ain' messin' wit no nassy sheeps.
He jump on he sled, and he yell at dem deers
I be so happy, I cryin' some big ol tears
But I done heard him say de most curious thing,
"Y'ALL BWAHS BE GOOD NOW FO' YO' MIGHTY KING!"
Wudn't no creature be stirrin', ain' even seed no mouse; (Cuz I done beat em, bwah!)
De woodbox be stuck by de fireplace wit care,
Hopin' dat dat some prime woo' might git its ass dere;
Dem chilluns wuz sleepin' all up in dey beds
Dey stank like sheeps an' snore like dere be rocks in dey heads;
And mah beesh all nekkid, an' me in mah 'jamas wit' de feet,
We done gone t' bed t' kick it an' sleep!
When out on mah lawn I heared such a clatta,
I jump outta mah bed and yell "What de matta?!?"
On t' de winnow I flew like some flash,
Tore open dem shutters, bwah, an' threw up de sash! (What a sash is?)
De moon shinin' down on all dat snow
It light up everything all down below
When I done seed me de damndest thing
It be a big sled, bwah, an' dere wuz mah KING!
Dat sled be flyin', bwah, all ovah mah town
How a reindeer be pullin' when he feet off de groun'?
Mo' rapid dan soccer playas dem reindeers done kick,
And he whistle an' shout an' tell 'em BEATCHU MAH MAHOGANY STICK!
"Beatchu Dasher! Beatchu Dancer! Beatchu Prancer an' Vixen!
Beatchu Comet, beatchu Cupid, beatchu Donner an' Blitzen!
Set down on de roof an' don' go nowhere
O' when I gets back, I beatchu so bad it curl yo' hair!"
I swear, bwahs, I ain' neva seed no reindeers fly
But what you call it when dey comes out de sky?
So up on mah house dem reindeers done flew,
Wit de sled full o' woo', an' mighty King Rev'ren' too!
An next thing I know, I hears on de roof
De prancin' an' pawin' o' each lil hoof (Stop all dat prancin' an' pawin', bwahs, you wake up de chilluns!)
Den dey done quit, an I be turnin' roun',
And dere be King Rev'ren', bwah, an he say "Bow!"
He be wearin he robe, an' he crown too
An he lookit me, an he say "Bwah, Ah beatchu!"
He had he stick in he han' and prime woo' on he back
I so excited, feel like I been smoking some crack!
He dump all dat woo' on mah livin' room flo',
I knew dat mah beesh soon be cleanin' some mo'.
An' he leave me some brew if I couldn' sleep
Cuz Lawd knows I ain' messin' wit no nassy sheeps.
He jump on he sled, and he yell at dem deers
I be so happy, I cryin' some big ol tears
But I done heard him say de most curious thing,
"Y'ALL BWAHS BE GOOD NOW FO' YO' MIGHTY KING!"