(no subject)
I still can't adjust to school life. I miss getting ten hours of sleep and I'm barely alive by Friday afternoon. I fell asleep at the hairdresser's. My Therapist has been telling me that I have to quit caffeine, but if I don't have caffeine during the day, even if I have pretty much quit, I can't stay awake during the day. I really can't, I develop narcolepsy. I fall alseep at the computer, in the middle of meals, with my friends, in public, anywhere. I don't suddenly fall asleep though. I get extrememly sleepy, put my head down somewhere, close my eyes and about 3 seconds later, I am in a DEEP sleep. Then I wake up 15-45 minutes later with like a time lapse. I am a very light sleeper, so when I go to sleep, I hear everything that goes on around me, I have a perfect sense of how much time has passed, and I can even make up within a few minutes of any certain time without an alarm clock.
Anyway, I can't quit caffeine. The problem is that I have been having nightmares, consistantly, every single night since sometime in July. Most of them aren't exactly nightmares as much as bad/v depressing dreams. Either way, I always wake up in a panic, glad that I'm alive, or I wake up feeling like I'm going to cry and I can't take much more of it. It is like watching the most depressing movie you have ever seen, which stars yourself, but for 8 hours. It feels like 8 hours of misery when you wake up. uhg I don't know...
Anyway, I can't quit caffeine. The problem is that I have been having nightmares, consistantly, every single night since sometime in July. Most of them aren't exactly nightmares as much as bad/v depressing dreams. Either way, I always wake up in a panic, glad that I'm alive, or I wake up feeling like I'm going to cry and I can't take much more of it. It is like watching the most depressing movie you have ever seen, which stars yourself, but for 8 hours. It feels like 8 hours of misery when you wake up. uhg I don't know...