Struggling......
...this is the 3rd night I've spent without Maia, I'm now doing another 12 hour day tomorrow instead of a nightshift so Maia is having to stay at my Mum's again. I ache all over, I have blisters on my feet, a sweat rash under my boobs and the burn on my hand is now red raw and inflamed through the constant washing and pulling gloves on and off. The woman I was taking care of yesterday ended up in theatre after getting "stuck" at 8cm for 4 hours only to be whisked back off the table just before knife met skin because of a really awful and very sad emergency, I felt so bad having to leave her when I went off shift at 7.45 last night.
I keep finding myself doubting my future in midwifery and doubting my abilities. Not a good start to my placement but I know tiredness and lack of sleep.....and missing Drew and Maia is taking it's toll.
I feel every journal entry is so negative these days and I'm also feeling guilty about not catching up on friends journals but I promise I will on my days off.
I keep finding myself doubting my future in midwifery and doubting my abilities. Not a good start to my placement but I know tiredness and lack of sleep.....and missing Drew and Maia is taking it's toll.
I feel every journal entry is so negative these days and I'm also feeling guilty about not catching up on friends journals but I promise I will on my days off.