(no subject)
There were a couple emails in my inbox when I went to check in this morning. Benny emailed to say that my mom had been in the shop asking her questions. Benny the sweetheart, played dumb and said she had just moved there from South Africa and didn’t know any of the answers to my moms questions. Thank god Tris wasn’t there. Cause he probably would have told my mom the truth or something. But I think I was more worried about the email from my parents saying that I was to come home straight from the airport and not stop anywhere I have no clue what brought this on, but I have a feeling going home is gonna be about as fun as this past week has been.
I think actually I am happy to be back in Sunnydale. There’s places to hide there, places where I can think. There the close quarters are not working for keeping to myself. At least in England it easier to have excuses to go off on my own. I’ve paid a visit to Willow, Tara and Anya and Mr. Giles. They were a sight for sore eyes. I didn’t realize how much I was missing them. They all look so tired. It was easy to forget about my own thoughts when I realized the huge thing they are doing.
It’s not like this whole trip has been horrible. It’s been great really. I got to spend my birthday in Paris, shopping with my two favorite people. I got to go home, got to talk to Marcus’s mother that day of the picnic. Which I think I really needed cause I realized I had lost some of my center with Willow leaving. And I think no matter what happens next, I will always look back fondly on the majority of this trip
When we first got to Ireland, I closed my eyes and I felt like Guin again. I hadn’t felt that way in a while. I had missed being her, she really is where the better parts of me come from. It really was feeling like home and the three of us together again, like in the painting, even though some things have changed, and we’re just a little different. It didn’t really feel like that. At least not to me.
Then early last week Marcus met a girl. Which I guess as his friend I should be all ‘Cool Marcus met a girl’, I don’t know why it bugged me at all. He called Nick to say he’d be gone for the night, I guess that’s the weird part, Marcus usually isn’t the type to just to hook up with a girl out of the blue. He’s very cautious around people he doesn’t know. So yeah I guess it was weird. This girl, I keep calling her the girl but I don’t know her real name, Marcus named her Elaine and she knew us all and Arthur, Guin and Lance. So Elaine and him agreed to have dinner with Nick and I the next night. Nick and I were mostly surprised I thought.
So we met for dinner the next night. She seems very nice. I mean I don’t hate her. I don’t have a problem with her at all. She must be special if Marcus feels safe with her and if she was able to see his mother. No it was Nick and Marcus that got to me. They were both acting so damn weird, especially Nick. At first I thought it was the initial shock, but now I am not so sure.
I think there was a mistake made here. I have been looking back over the past year or so and been thinking that I made a mistake. I been trying to go back to being stupid, to not thinking the things that I have. But I can’t. I was happy to leave Ireland last Friday. My home, and I didn’t want to be there anymore. Mostly I have been just keeping to myself, at the picnic the next day, I went off and talked to Vivian while everyone else picnicked. I think I have been good about not ruining every ones vacation, while I think this all out in my head. I know eventually I will have to ask what’s going on. I just don’t want to really know the answers right now.
Yesterday was Marcus’s Birthday, and I felt bad, cause really it’s not his fault I feel like this. And my birthday had been so good. I stashed his present from me in his bag, before I we left for the airport. Its not a big deal just one of those books about all the art pieces the keep in the Louvre. The flight back was long, I tried to sleep most of the way. I figure whatever my parents need to talk to me about I might as well be rested for it. Plus a crowded plane full of strangers seemed like the wrong place to be having any serious discussions. I’m sure Nick’s wondering what the hell, or maybe he’s not. I don’t know. Right now it’s deal with the ‘rents first and then figure out the other stuff in my life.
I think actually I am happy to be back in Sunnydale. There’s places to hide there, places where I can think. There the close quarters are not working for keeping to myself. At least in England it easier to have excuses to go off on my own. I’ve paid a visit to Willow, Tara and Anya and Mr. Giles. They were a sight for sore eyes. I didn’t realize how much I was missing them. They all look so tired. It was easy to forget about my own thoughts when I realized the huge thing they are doing.
It’s not like this whole trip has been horrible. It’s been great really. I got to spend my birthday in Paris, shopping with my two favorite people. I got to go home, got to talk to Marcus’s mother that day of the picnic. Which I think I really needed cause I realized I had lost some of my center with Willow leaving. And I think no matter what happens next, I will always look back fondly on the majority of this trip
When we first got to Ireland, I closed my eyes and I felt like Guin again. I hadn’t felt that way in a while. I had missed being her, she really is where the better parts of me come from. It really was feeling like home and the three of us together again, like in the painting, even though some things have changed, and we’re just a little different. It didn’t really feel like that. At least not to me.
Then early last week Marcus met a girl. Which I guess as his friend I should be all ‘Cool Marcus met a girl’, I don’t know why it bugged me at all. He called Nick to say he’d be gone for the night, I guess that’s the weird part, Marcus usually isn’t the type to just to hook up with a girl out of the blue. He’s very cautious around people he doesn’t know. So yeah I guess it was weird. This girl, I keep calling her the girl but I don’t know her real name, Marcus named her Elaine and she knew us all and Arthur, Guin and Lance. So Elaine and him agreed to have dinner with Nick and I the next night. Nick and I were mostly surprised I thought.
So we met for dinner the next night. She seems very nice. I mean I don’t hate her. I don’t have a problem with her at all. She must be special if Marcus feels safe with her and if she was able to see his mother. No it was Nick and Marcus that got to me. They were both acting so damn weird, especially Nick. At first I thought it was the initial shock, but now I am not so sure.
I think there was a mistake made here. I have been looking back over the past year or so and been thinking that I made a mistake. I been trying to go back to being stupid, to not thinking the things that I have. But I can’t. I was happy to leave Ireland last Friday. My home, and I didn’t want to be there anymore. Mostly I have been just keeping to myself, at the picnic the next day, I went off and talked to Vivian while everyone else picnicked. I think I have been good about not ruining every ones vacation, while I think this all out in my head. I know eventually I will have to ask what’s going on. I just don’t want to really know the answers right now.
Yesterday was Marcus’s Birthday, and I felt bad, cause really it’s not his fault I feel like this. And my birthday had been so good. I stashed his present from me in his bag, before I we left for the airport. Its not a big deal just one of those books about all the art pieces the keep in the Louvre. The flight back was long, I tried to sleep most of the way. I figure whatever my parents need to talk to me about I might as well be rested for it. Plus a crowded plane full of strangers seemed like the wrong place to be having any serious discussions. I’m sure Nick’s wondering what the hell, or maybe he’s not. I don’t know. Right now it’s deal with the ‘rents first and then figure out the other stuff in my life.