(no subject)
We took a small sailed boat over to Tir Na NOg. Which is Ireland, but not yet really. It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between who we are and and who were are suppose to be. I have caught myself calling Nick and Marcus, Arthur and Lancelot more times than not lately. It sometimes gets confusing in my head, to have the lives of two different people rolled into one floating into my head. All of Guineveres memories, all of mine. Hard to hang onto who I am, hard to know if I want to.
Anyways, the boat is small so that we could sail it ourselves. Not that we really know how to drive, do you drive a boat?, one. But we managed, though I have to wonder if we didn't have some sort of help from Vivian or something. It didn't take too long, not even a day. Not like they had a marina or something, so we dropped anchor as close to shore as we could and walked in. Okay, and I know it wasn't proper in this era for women to wear pants, but if we were gonna be trekking through the Irish countryside, I wasnt wearing a stupid dress anymore. I stole some of Nicks clothes.
So we need to find a stone. We don't know where it is or what it looks like. And um we don't really speak the language to ask. Yet we seem to just be headed in a direction like we do know or are being guided. Ireland was beautiful at this time. I wonder if it still looks like this. I'd be curious to find out someday. I understand now why it's called the Emerald Isle. I have never seen these colors of green anywhere in California. Its all just so untouched. I try and stop sometimes just to take it all in. Like burn it into my memory.
The only bad thing that has happened so far is one night when we made camp, I guess a group of people tried to rob us? I don't know what the heck they were trying to get from us. We don't have alot of valuable stuff with us. Anyways there were a bunch of them and they attacked us. Guess Vivian was right about arming us well. We all went into warrior mode, fighting for real, weapons drawn swords clashing. All that stuff. The spear I was given gives of bolts of light. I guess to whoever it hits it would be like being electrocuted. Or it can just be thrown, and after hitting its target, it returned back to my hand. We made short work of them. The ones we didn't kill, ran off. I never knew that any of us could be capable of fighting like that. It was awesome and frightening at the same time.
I sit wrong that I have no remorse. I took someones life, lots of someones. They weren't even demons or vampires, but I was still able to throw that spear into their bodies and end their lives. Maybe its because its a different place and time. And this is how things where done here. Maybe i am so much like Guin that this is normal, or maybe Guin has become so much like me, and all that death and pain in Sunnydale has made me numb to it all. The way I was brought up, all life is sacred. I still believe it's sacred, I just don't seem to have a problem with killing something or someone thats trying to kill me.
We set back out the following morning on our journey. We are getting closer, I don't know how I know this, I think I can just feel it. I don't know whats going to happen when we finish this quest and go back home. I'm not sure I even want to go home. It feels so good to be here. Even when we were attacked by a band of thieves that want to kill us and take our stuff, I was scared. I haven't not been scared in such a long time, going back to feeling that way doesn't seem that appealing. On top of that, I think Nick and Marcus feel the same way to a little. They seem...happy, relaxed, not afraid. I would give anything to let them keep that feeling.
Anyways, the boat is small so that we could sail it ourselves. Not that we really know how to drive, do you drive a boat?, one. But we managed, though I have to wonder if we didn't have some sort of help from Vivian or something. It didn't take too long, not even a day. Not like they had a marina or something, so we dropped anchor as close to shore as we could and walked in. Okay, and I know it wasn't proper in this era for women to wear pants, but if we were gonna be trekking through the Irish countryside, I wasnt wearing a stupid dress anymore. I stole some of Nicks clothes.
So we need to find a stone. We don't know where it is or what it looks like. And um we don't really speak the language to ask. Yet we seem to just be headed in a direction like we do know or are being guided. Ireland was beautiful at this time. I wonder if it still looks like this. I'd be curious to find out someday. I understand now why it's called the Emerald Isle. I have never seen these colors of green anywhere in California. Its all just so untouched. I try and stop sometimes just to take it all in. Like burn it into my memory.
The only bad thing that has happened so far is one night when we made camp, I guess a group of people tried to rob us? I don't know what the heck they were trying to get from us. We don't have alot of valuable stuff with us. Anyways there were a bunch of them and they attacked us. Guess Vivian was right about arming us well. We all went into warrior mode, fighting for real, weapons drawn swords clashing. All that stuff. The spear I was given gives of bolts of light. I guess to whoever it hits it would be like being electrocuted. Or it can just be thrown, and after hitting its target, it returned back to my hand. We made short work of them. The ones we didn't kill, ran off. I never knew that any of us could be capable of fighting like that. It was awesome and frightening at the same time.
I sit wrong that I have no remorse. I took someones life, lots of someones. They weren't even demons or vampires, but I was still able to throw that spear into their bodies and end their lives. Maybe its because its a different place and time. And this is how things where done here. Maybe i am so much like Guin that this is normal, or maybe Guin has become so much like me, and all that death and pain in Sunnydale has made me numb to it all. The way I was brought up, all life is sacred. I still believe it's sacred, I just don't seem to have a problem with killing something or someone thats trying to kill me.
We set back out the following morning on our journey. We are getting closer, I don't know how I know this, I think I can just feel it. I don't know whats going to happen when we finish this quest and go back home. I'm not sure I even want to go home. It feels so good to be here. Even when we were attacked by a band of thieves that want to kill us and take our stuff, I was scared. I haven't not been scared in such a long time, going back to feeling that way doesn't seem that appealing. On top of that, I think Nick and Marcus feel the same way to a little. They seem...happy, relaxed, not afraid. I would give anything to let them keep that feeling.