"Sick as a thereisnodog." Hmm, maybe it'll catch on.
I had been constantly ill for over a month, having just come out of it over this past weekend. I was not dying, nor was it so frustrating that I wished to die. I did wish to throw the next person's head through a wall who offers me advice on a motherly remedy, but I was unconvinced that a jury of my peers would acquit me due to cough & cold symptoms.
It started on a Monday with that classic warning sign, an ominous tickle at the back of the throat. Within about three days, I had lost my voice and it was the worst sore throat I had experienced since a combo of mono and strept throat back in university residence. I called in sick on the Friday [1] and went to the doctor. My glands weren't swollen and my lungs were clear, which were a good sign. She took a throat swab and said I'd get a call if it turned up positive for anything. (it didn't) The only thing she prescribed me was a steroid inhaler as a preventative measure, even though my lungs were clear, I was breathing fine, and my asthma hadn't been sparked once all week. I don't have a drug plan, and as much as I can appreciate the ounce of prevention adage, I can't afford an ounce if it costs $98, and besides that I don't want to take a steroid unless I have to.
So my weekend was spent in my bathrobe. I cancelled almost all of my plans and get-togethers. The only exception was that I was determined to go to my cousin Kelly's wedding on the Saturday night. I was already drained of energy, and my mother phoned ahead to explain to my aunt & uncle that I likely wouldn't stay for the reception. My entire family, small as it is, was very amused that I couldn't speak, although they displayed the appropriate amount of sympathy. I sat in the front row during the ceremony, attempting a kind of Zen control over my esophagus in order to prevent a coughing fit during the vows. It hurt to even swallow my own saliva [2] such that sitting there was like a very painful version of the giggle loop. I made it through the ceremony with only a handful of coughs, whispered my congratulations, jumped in a cab to home, got out of my suit, flopped on my bed, and slept the rest of the night.
Over the next week my throat slowly got better, but it worsened the following week. I went back to the doctor's office at the end of the third week. My usual doctor was on vacation, so I had to see one of the others. I told him of my concern that I had been medicating myself with over-the-counter stuff well beyond 2 weeks now, and it still hadn't gone away. The doctor said that this season he's seen coughs that usually only last a week, are taking three or four weeks to go away, and unfortunately there's nothing he can do for me. Great. Well, at least it was comforting to know it wasn't anything serious.
Just when I thought I was getting clear of it, about two weeks ago, I got a cold. A full-on, sneezing, stuffy nose, oh-so-that's-where-my-sinuses-are cold. This in turn aggravated my cough, which tore up my throat some more. Beautiful. It's parting gift was to have a week where I couldn't pop my ears, which apparently meant there was fluid in them which I needed to take a decongestant for so that I wouldn't end up with an ear infection and a third trip back to the doctor. [3] I can't recall ever needing to restock my medicine cabinet twice in the same season, much less the same month. I'm not able to calculate everything I took, but I know it included: two dozen NyQuil caplets, two dozen DayQuil caplets, twelve Sinutab Cold & Sinus tablets, 2 boxes of extra-strength Neo Citran, 2 large bottles of Benadryl DM-D-E-ETC., and a colossal whack of throat lozenges.
So now I'm finally feeling some kind of normalcy again, with only my vocal chords left to recover. Usually I wouldn't care about how long it takes to get my voice back, but walking around with what my brother affectionately calls my Demi Moore Impression means that I can't audition for anything beyond silent roles. My agent has been very understanding, and is even calling me before she submits me for a role, which is really helpful.
In trying to end this entry with a silver lining: The last time I was anywhere near this ill, my immune system toughened up and I didn't get so much as a sniffle for almost two years. All I can hope is that my t-cells had set a precedent then, because damn, I really could use the hiatus.
Footnotes/Asides:
[1] which I hate doing, as it always feels like my boss thinks I'm trying to snag a long weekend…. that's why I always take my "mental health days" on a Wednesday
[2] so no way was I gonna attempt anyone else's… thank you, I'm here all week
[3] I may not have liked the previous government, but setting up TeleHealth Ontario was a good idea
It started on a Monday with that classic warning sign, an ominous tickle at the back of the throat. Within about three days, I had lost my voice and it was the worst sore throat I had experienced since a combo of mono and strept throat back in university residence. I called in sick on the Friday [1] and went to the doctor. My glands weren't swollen and my lungs were clear, which were a good sign. She took a throat swab and said I'd get a call if it turned up positive for anything. (it didn't) The only thing she prescribed me was a steroid inhaler as a preventative measure, even though my lungs were clear, I was breathing fine, and my asthma hadn't been sparked once all week. I don't have a drug plan, and as much as I can appreciate the ounce of prevention adage, I can't afford an ounce if it costs $98, and besides that I don't want to take a steroid unless I have to.
So my weekend was spent in my bathrobe. I cancelled almost all of my plans and get-togethers. The only exception was that I was determined to go to my cousin Kelly's wedding on the Saturday night. I was already drained of energy, and my mother phoned ahead to explain to my aunt & uncle that I likely wouldn't stay for the reception. My entire family, small as it is, was very amused that I couldn't speak, although they displayed the appropriate amount of sympathy. I sat in the front row during the ceremony, attempting a kind of Zen control over my esophagus in order to prevent a coughing fit during the vows. It hurt to even swallow my own saliva [2] such that sitting there was like a very painful version of the giggle loop. I made it through the ceremony with only a handful of coughs, whispered my congratulations, jumped in a cab to home, got out of my suit, flopped on my bed, and slept the rest of the night.
Over the next week my throat slowly got better, but it worsened the following week. I went back to the doctor's office at the end of the third week. My usual doctor was on vacation, so I had to see one of the others. I told him of my concern that I had been medicating myself with over-the-counter stuff well beyond 2 weeks now, and it still hadn't gone away. The doctor said that this season he's seen coughs that usually only last a week, are taking three or four weeks to go away, and unfortunately there's nothing he can do for me. Great. Well, at least it was comforting to know it wasn't anything serious.
Just when I thought I was getting clear of it, about two weeks ago, I got a cold. A full-on, sneezing, stuffy nose, oh-so-that's-where-my-sinuses-are cold. This in turn aggravated my cough, which tore up my throat some more. Beautiful. It's parting gift was to have a week where I couldn't pop my ears, which apparently meant there was fluid in them which I needed to take a decongestant for so that I wouldn't end up with an ear infection and a third trip back to the doctor. [3] I can't recall ever needing to restock my medicine cabinet twice in the same season, much less the same month. I'm not able to calculate everything I took, but I know it included: two dozen NyQuil caplets, two dozen DayQuil caplets, twelve Sinutab Cold & Sinus tablets, 2 boxes of extra-strength Neo Citran, 2 large bottles of Benadryl DM-D-E-ETC., and a colossal whack of throat lozenges.
So now I'm finally feeling some kind of normalcy again, with only my vocal chords left to recover. Usually I wouldn't care about how long it takes to get my voice back, but walking around with what my brother affectionately calls my Demi Moore Impression means that I can't audition for anything beyond silent roles. My agent has been very understanding, and is even calling me before she submits me for a role, which is really helpful.
In trying to end this entry with a silver lining: The last time I was anywhere near this ill, my immune system toughened up and I didn't get so much as a sniffle for almost two years. All I can hope is that my t-cells had set a precedent then, because damn, I really could use the hiatus.
Footnotes/Asides:
[1] which I hate doing, as it always feels like my boss thinks I'm trying to snag a long weekend…. that's why I always take my "mental health days" on a Wednesday
[2] so no way was I gonna attempt anyone else's… thank you, I'm here all week
[3] I may not have liked the previous government, but setting up TeleHealth Ontario was a good idea