(Fanmix) Building the Colossus - Ben Bruckner
I don't disgaree that freedom has to be fought for but I believe our weapons should be reason, and compassion.
01. Building the Colossus - Happy Rhodes
Shoring up the sides, pillars hold me up.
Mortar me here, mortar me there,
Gonna need stronger underwear, uh-huh,
To keep this spine upright.
Reaching to the sky, stone by stone.
A character flaw will bring it all down.
Gonna have to call the mason 'round, uh-huh,
And sturdy up the ground.
Why do you think I meditate? And do yoga, and exercise like a fiend. If it buys me peace of mind for even thirty seconds, it's worth it.
02. Circle Dream - 10,000 Maniacs
I dreamed of a circle, I dreamed of a circle round.
And in that circle I had made were all
the worlds unformed and unborn yet.
A volume, a sphere that was the earth,
that was the moon, that did revolve around my room.
As they say, out of adversity comes knowledge, and I've learned to put my fears aside and just find serenity in the chaos.
I wish I could do that. I do just the opposite, I could find chaos in serenity with my eyes closed.
The secret is to stop regretting the past, and fearing the future, and just live in the now.
You know, the breeze against your cheek. The way your shirt falls against your body. The feel of someone's hand on your back. Helps you realize that right now, this moment is all there is.
03. No More Keeping My Feet on the Ground - Coldplay
So what? I feel fine, I'm OK, I've seen the lighter side of life,
I'm alright, I feel good, so I'll go, well it's time to start moving.
And this could be my last chance, I'm saving my only chance,
And this could be my last chance,
So no more keeping my feet on the ground.
You know, I found out a lot about you in the last few days. You can't play basketball. And you can't sing!
It's pretty amazing how untalented I am, isn't it?
I did not say that. All right, I admit, it took a lot of courage to get up there. Hell, it took fucking balls.
Well I told you, I know what I want and I'll do anything to get it.
You mean me.
Yeah, I mean you.
04. Patience - Nerina Pallot
Been good, been bad, got worse, got better.
I feel I know myself when I'm looking in the mirror.
Been hurt, been loved - I'm scarred, I'm not bitter.
I'm an angel with knowledge of a sinner.
But what do I do and how should I be?
When I look at myself I can only be me.
I need a little patience.
Michael, please... I know I got a little upset at the party-
A little upset? You were a fucking monster! Humiliating me, humiliating yourself. And after all the trouble I went to for you! Well I won't be doing that again. I mean not that it matters because I don't think we're going to be spending anymore birthdays together--
My t-cells went down. And my viral load's back up. That's where I was before I came home. At the doctor's, getting the results. The cocktail's not working, the virus has become resistant.
Well can't they change the drugs? ... Since when do you smoke?
Since I'm nervous, Michael. Would you stop looking at me like that? Please? I am not perfect, you know?
God knows I have tried. Eastern religion, meditation, yoga- you name it, I've practiced it, hoping to achieve some state of inner harmony. And then this happens and I realize the only thing I have achieved is to convince myself I believe all this bullshit.
I hurt you, Michael. I hurt the one person who means more to me than anyone else in the world, and there's no excuse for it. There's, you know, there's just no excuse at all.
Sure there is. You're human.
05. Exile - Enya
Cold as the northern winds in December mornings.
Cold is the cry that rings from this far distant shore.
Winter has come too late. Too close beside me.
How can I chase away all these fears deep inside?
I never thought I'd end up here so soon.
You haven't ended up here. You'll be out in a day or two.
No, I've seen what happens. From now on it's back and forth, trip after trip.
The only trip you'll be taking is to Tibet. I've already booked us into the Katmandu Hilton. They've got this great package deal, it's ten bucks a day and all the yak you can eat.
Oh, don't make me laugh.
06. Thank U (iTunes Originals) - Alanis Morissette
The moment I let go of it was the moment
I got more than I could handle
The moment I jumped off of it
Was the moment I touched down
Thank you.
Thank you too.
For what?
Well, if it hadn't been for you, I never would have thought seriously about going to Tibet. But when I was in the hospital, you encouraged me to focus on something positive.
I meant sex, or chocolate cake.
Here. This came today. It's an e-mail I got this morning from the monestary in Samye. They invited me to come study with them. But I want you to know, there's no way I would go without your blessing and approval.
07. Tibet (A Passage To) - The Tibet Project
I want you to know I'm not going to come here without you.
I appreciate the selfless sacrifice.
I will be sitting at home, knitting, waiting for your return...
Hey, I don't want you not to have fun!
Don't worry, I intend to have plenty of fun! Although, phone sex to Tibet will be expensive.
I'm afraid there won't be much of that, Michael.
Because I'm not going.
But it's all you've thought about, it's all you've talked about!
And you were willing to let me go.
You said it was what you needed.
I already have what I need, baby, and I don't have to go to Tibet to find it.
08. Fallen - Sarah McLachlan
Truth be told I've tried my best,
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear.
Though I've tried, I've fallen.
I have sunk so low, I have messed up.
Better I should know so don't come round here
And tell me I told you so.
Michael told me he was going to talk to you.
Yeah, well he did. And he understands.
Well, that's Michael. Always understanding.
Why don't you just mind your own business?
If it was just you, I would. As my dear old dad used to say, you're three times seven. But it's not just you. You're taking him down with you.
I do not need to be lectured by the biggest whore in Pittsburgh! You are fucking lucky you're not positive!
09. Waking the Dream - Terami Hirsch
I can't wait for my superpowers
Can't wait to be rescued by you.
What's dead inside is only sleeping
I need to find me a better dream
But half the fight is in the winning
And half the fight is in waking the dream.
Okay, I'm sorry for saying I should find someone who's positive, that was the drugs talking.
No, it was you. Don't make excuses. If that's what you want, then do it.
It's not what I want. I want you.
At nine o'clock on Tuesday morning? What about ten?
I will feel the same at ten. And eleven, and twelve. Now, why don't you get dressed and come with me?
It's not my world, I don't belong there.
You belong with me.
10. This is the Last Time - Keane
This is the last time that I will show my face
One last tender lie, and then I'm out of this place.
So tread it into the carpet or hide it under the stairs
Say that some things never die.
Well I tried and I tried.
Something I wasn't sure of but I was in the middle of
Something I forget now but I've seen too little of
The last time you fall on me for anything you like
You know this little hospital stay of yours is costing me a couple thousand dollars. And for what, so you can go back to living on the street?
I'll be all right.
If you call practically freezing to death, sleeping in doorways 'all right'. Instead of peddling your ass, maybe you should think of this as a wake-up call. As an oppotunity to turn your life around.
You know something? You're right. Yeah, I should go on one of those lunatic religious shows and praise the Lord for giving me a second chance. I'm saved! I'm saved!
Then I might as well save myself some cash. I'm going to go tell that social worker the truth, straighten this mess out once and for all. You have yourself a good life and the next time you're looking for a sucker, you call somebody else.
11. Wires - Athlete
I see hope is here in a plastic box.
I've seen christmas lights reflect in your eyes.
There's dry blood on your wrist.
Your dry blood on my fingertip.
No one wants to pick up a guy who looks like an eskimo!
No one wants to pick up a guy who's going to give him HIV either, so here. Make sure you use these, and make sure they use them, too, okay? Even if they do offer to pay you $200.
Get the fuck out of here! Leave me alone! Why are you doing this? Why do you even care?
Because I'm positive too.
12. Butterflies - Sia
We've shared joy and we've shared pain
We've shared guilt and we've shared shame
We've bought into the stupid games
We've freed each offer and we laid claim
Oh yes the butterflies are still there
Michael Novotny, you are the man I've been looking for all my life. I am so very blessed to have found you. Which is why I'm asking you to do me the honor of accepting my hand in marriage. ...We're going to Toronto! Where gay marriage is not only accepted, it's legal. And, like you said. That's what two people do when they love each other, right?
I don't know what to say.
Yes would be good.
13. Somewhere Only We Know - Keane
Oh simple thing where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on.
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin.
So why don't we go somewhere only we know?
So, how'd you like their house?
They did a great job. It's amazing how much that neighborhood has changed.
Eugh. I wish this one would. Besides, the apartment is too small for the three of us, and that building's like a gay dorm.
It's not that bad.
Well, not if you're twenty-four and want to fuck everything that moves. Or Brian. We're past all that, aren't we?
So uh, what do you think about getting a place of our own?
You really want to move.
Well, I bet between the two of us we could afford it.
Maybe so, but this is where we live. Where I've lived my whole life. I don't know if I want to pick up and leave just like that.
It was just a thought.
14. Father and Son - Leigh Nash (Cat Stevens Cover)
I was once like you are now, and I know that it's not easy,
To be calm when you've found something going on.
But take your time, think a lot, why, think of everything you've got.
For you will still be here tomorrow, but your dreams may not.
(How can I try to explain, when I do he turns away again.
It's always been the same, same old story.
From the moment I could talk I was ordered to listen.
Now there's a way and I know that I have to go away.
I know I have to go.)
You're going to get through this. I promise.
Fuck your false hope. World's a stinking shithole.
I don't think Sartre could have said it any better. Look, I found a great charter school. They have a waiting list a mile long but one of the professors in my department's on the board so I was able to pull a few strings and---
Why even bother? Huh? They'll just find out there too and then it'll start all over again. So what's the point of my going to another fucking school?
15. Cold Water - Damien Rice
Cold, cold water surrounds me now
And all I've got is your hand
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Lord, can you hear me now?
Or am I lost?
The last thing I want to think about right now is another gay cause.
It's not just another gay cause. When we got married, you said this was just the beginning. Well now it looks like the beginning of the end! Listen, I'm just as upset about this as you are! Every time I hear that door open, or the phone ring, I think it's him. I just thought it would make us both feel better if we got involved in something.
I don't want to get involved in something, okay? I don't give a shit about Proposition 14, or 15, or 16. All I care about is where is he? Is he all right? Am I ever going to see him again?
So, let somebody else sit on the goddamn committee. I've given enough.
16. Forever Love - Anna Nalick
When you smile with those eyes
Baby it's like you place a finger on my heart.
And your lips next to mine
Make me think that maybe heavens where you are
God, don't send to me your angels.
I just wanna hear you say again...
Why in the fuck doesn't somebody tell us something?
I'm sure they will, as soon as there's something to tell.
Do you think something's wrong, and that's why they haven't said anything?
Don't go there, please. Please don't.
17. Hero - Enrique Iglesius
Would you dance if I asked you to dance?
Would you run and never look back?
Would you cry if you saw me cryin'
Would you save my soul tonight?
You know what part of your story I liked best?
What?
The part where the gift-giver decides not to sleep with the bug-chaser, and goes back to his partner.
[1] Audio editing: removed a fairly big chunk from the beginning of Hero, because the horrific whisper made me want to die. Smoothed the end of Forever Love, because it cut out in mid-fade.
[2] Ben's an interesting character. People think he's perfect, but he's really not - the man seriously throws a diva fit at least once per season and often over lame things like people's comic books. But he's so mild that these things don't stick in people's heads. They didn't stick in mine either until I read some commentary on him and I was like, duuuude you're right he does do that, whaaat is that about. Which doesn't mean I don't like him. :D
[3] I apologize for the sheer cheese content of this fanmix. All I can say is, dude, Ben's a cheesy man.
[4] So, when we first started posting these, I said as the characters get larger, so does the project. Case in point. It's long, it's got some art, it's fun. Interesting things are a'comin'! Well, interesting for me.
[5] Someone should have mentioned that Ben's cover is in like the SAME FORMAT AS DEB'S. Uhh. Yeah, my bad. I made Deb's in February though, so I'd kind of forgotten what it looked like.
( Zip File, including art and playlist. )
Information about this Project.
All lyrics are accessible in the info tags.
Next Up: Melanie Marcus, Warrior Woman!