(no subject)
It has been a very good while since I have posted, but I have taken a while to accumulate what it is that I want to write about. So I'll talk this out and make it soon.
1. I bought a bike after agonzing over it and only the investment in it keeps me using it after a week of sore legs and other things. It's only two miles or so to work and back, but more or less, it's uphill both ways. Or there are steep downhill parts immediately followed by stop signs, so that makes it kind of torturous. I hope it'll get easier. And for all those things that they say about professional bicyclists being involved in drugs, I can't say anything about it, to do this for hundreds and hundreds of miles must take some awfully good steroids or whatever. And to think they do it in the alps.
2. I had moments of inspiration to write and I made a list, it was because my heart awoke for just a brief period of time last week, I saw someone, had nostalgic thoughts, and now it all has passed away into pretty solid depression. So I'm kind of low now, a mix of being tired with work and feeling like I should be doing more, a mix of having absolutely no one to even consider chasing for a romance, a social life that is not fulfilling (though just last week I said truthfully that it was very fulfilling ). So there goes a whimsical section about love and a fleeting glance, just to be packed away with those thoughts in my brain.
3. My stupid eye has floaters now and that's a sad thing, since they'll never really go away, just get worse with age. Apparently I'm getting old. It sucks. I feel old, I feel beaten and broken, and I'm so much younger than everyone else around here. I hate that. I regret moving early, graduating early, etc, just for the fact that I'm younger, by a few years. I want to hide my age but it comes up and each time, it hurts me.
4. The other thing. I had every evil psychologist's worst nightmare a couple of weeks ago, where when I was in the sporting goods store to get a glove, i saw one of my participants. That was kind of awkward and kind of funny, it was good to see that she was able to walk around and her scars are healing from the repetitive electrical shocks that were in the experiment and that she wasn't too mad about that. But still, kinda amusing to have a very awkward hello to someone you've only seen once. Apparently I have a memorable face because she noticed me. But the thing is, facial distinctiveness is inversely related to attractiveness (which is counterintuitive). I remembered her because her face was kind of distinct. Take it for what it's worth.
To sum, I hate the mountains because they aren't flat, my right eye annoys me, I have no emotion and feel like blah, and I don't know about the rest, save that it's lonely in space.
1. I bought a bike after agonzing over it and only the investment in it keeps me using it after a week of sore legs and other things. It's only two miles or so to work and back, but more or less, it's uphill both ways. Or there are steep downhill parts immediately followed by stop signs, so that makes it kind of torturous. I hope it'll get easier. And for all those things that they say about professional bicyclists being involved in drugs, I can't say anything about it, to do this for hundreds and hundreds of miles must take some awfully good steroids or whatever. And to think they do it in the alps.
2. I had moments of inspiration to write and I made a list, it was because my heart awoke for just a brief period of time last week, I saw someone, had nostalgic thoughts, and now it all has passed away into pretty solid depression. So I'm kind of low now, a mix of being tired with work and feeling like I should be doing more, a mix of having absolutely no one to even consider chasing for a romance, a social life that is not fulfilling (though just last week I said truthfully that it was very fulfilling ). So there goes a whimsical section about love and a fleeting glance, just to be packed away with those thoughts in my brain.
3. My stupid eye has floaters now and that's a sad thing, since they'll never really go away, just get worse with age. Apparently I'm getting old. It sucks. I feel old, I feel beaten and broken, and I'm so much younger than everyone else around here. I hate that. I regret moving early, graduating early, etc, just for the fact that I'm younger, by a few years. I want to hide my age but it comes up and each time, it hurts me.
4. The other thing. I had every evil psychologist's worst nightmare a couple of weeks ago, where when I was in the sporting goods store to get a glove, i saw one of my participants. That was kind of awkward and kind of funny, it was good to see that she was able to walk around and her scars are healing from the repetitive electrical shocks that were in the experiment and that she wasn't too mad about that. But still, kinda amusing to have a very awkward hello to someone you've only seen once. Apparently I have a memorable face because she noticed me. But the thing is, facial distinctiveness is inversely related to attractiveness (which is counterintuitive). I remembered her because her face was kind of distinct. Take it for what it's worth.
To sum, I hate the mountains because they aren't flat, my right eye annoys me, I have no emotion and feel like blah, and I don't know about the rest, save that it's lonely in space.