Text dump
3/17
IN: You know your life has reached a new low when you find yourself having to explain to your shrink what a snuff film is.
IN: If your home, I just wanna warn you I'm in your backyard. That is all.
OUT: Um... ok, creepiest text ever. I'll be out in a minute.
3/18
IN: It's gonna be a girl fight in this bitch tonight.
3/19
IN, 1:47 am: Oh god. I tried. Tried to finish it. I feel like ishmal. Where is the great white dick!!!
IN, 8:51 am: I despise whatever demon that made me think that we could finish that keg. I'm sleeping on the rooftop of my building because my loft is for sale and someone is coming to look at it at 9 am. It's cold....
IN, 9:05 am: I thought I would be beating the man by not having to make my bed. Finish the keg, sleep on the roof. I was full of bright ideas last night.
IN: Do you remember ____ from Tiki's who used to hit on me and did porn in CA? HE was in Buffas last night saying his parents died and he got $73 million.
OUT: Does $73 million make one fuckable?
IN: NOPE
3/24:
IN: Here. Drunk. Trying to come down lol. Yeah jambo jambo. ALL NIGHT.
3/29
IN: "Tears of love" is SO going to be my next gay dance song!
OUT: Why do all the people at your workplace hate pants?
IN: Ass sells more.
3/30
IN: I also realized I washed my hair so you take the good you take the bad. I <3 Single Seale except when she beats me at Popamatic Trouble.
4/2
IN: Honey badger don't care
4/3
OUT: I'm at a polo match in fla, drinking champagne and eating shrimp cocktail. haha. so fancy.
4/5
OUT: I just got into a fight with 3 gay boys, and they all backed down. apparently, I am one scary bitch. hahahahha. if they only knew.
4/6
IN: Tequila and beer is not a WINNING combination. And why is "vodka" in my T9, but "tequila" isn't? Hungover Joshua can't be bothered to spell it out....
4/9
IN: Are you guys signed up for the sack race?
OUT: Um. No.
Lady Gaga concert:
IN: Fuck!!!!! We went to the wrong arennaaa!!! We went to uno arena bc my friend ben is fired from life!
OUT: hurry! she just started.
IN: We are doing like 80 mph! And slamming patron!
4/13
OUT: I still can't tell. I think so, but the firemen got in my way.... i never thought that phrase would come from me.