(no subject)
I'm confused, so so confused.
I feel...
ignored.
confused.
useless.
helpless.
sickened
and most of all...frustrated (and confused, because I don't know what to do, if I'm right or if I'm wrong. But if I'm wrong, I'd whether be wrong than for you to hurt).
I almost wanna give up I'm so frustrated in fact, but I'd never give up on the best thing I've ever had. I would never do that, because I'd never want to. I just don't know, I feel like I messed everything up and now, everything feels different because I'm an idiot. I scared her, I scared her and I shouldn't have.
Moving on...it's not a lack of trust, it's a abundance of fear inside me. So much talk about drugs lately..shrooms especially. I trust you, but I still have to worry. All I can do is hope our love is strong enough for you to keep your promises.
If you go out, it's always the "what if's?" What if this and what if that. I guess all I can count on is for you to keep your promises, but what hurts is that you still do bad things to hurt yourself. Today you did and you mentioned it like it was no big deal, I wanted to throw up. I felt ignored too.
In the end though, I can't see you doing that to me, because if you did it would hurt so bad. I just don't want you to hurt yourself, is that to much to ask? I want you to be good and safe. I can't live without you. I don't want to smother you, but I can't let you hurt yourself and do bad things because I love you. If you love someone you can't let them hurt themselves.
I feel...
ignored.
confused.
useless.
helpless.
sickened
and most of all...frustrated (and confused, because I don't know what to do, if I'm right or if I'm wrong. But if I'm wrong, I'd whether be wrong than for you to hurt).
I almost wanna give up I'm so frustrated in fact, but I'd never give up on the best thing I've ever had. I would never do that, because I'd never want to. I just don't know, I feel like I messed everything up and now, everything feels different because I'm an idiot. I scared her, I scared her and I shouldn't have.
Moving on...it's not a lack of trust, it's a abundance of fear inside me. So much talk about drugs lately..shrooms especially. I trust you, but I still have to worry. All I can do is hope our love is strong enough for you to keep your promises.
If you go out, it's always the "what if's?" What if this and what if that. I guess all I can count on is for you to keep your promises, but what hurts is that you still do bad things to hurt yourself. Today you did and you mentioned it like it was no big deal, I wanted to throw up. I felt ignored too.
In the end though, I can't see you doing that to me, because if you did it would hurt so bad. I just don't want you to hurt yourself, is that to much to ask? I want you to be good and safe. I can't live without you. I don't want to smother you, but I can't let you hurt yourself and do bad things because I love you. If you love someone you can't let them hurt themselves.