不知道
trip to foreign homeland
New changes and habits, modifications and adaptions, in the face of temptations and influences and confusion. I think it is increasingly difficult to find oneself. To know exactly what kind of person you really want to be, where your passion truly lies and what you want to do even though you deviate from the role you should be playing.
Whether to listen to them, because at first, you think they make logical rational sense, but on second third fourth fifth sixth to nth thought, you realise that this is not what you want, but what the mainstreams and only a small part of you instead of the whole, want of you.
I don't know if I can be a superwoman anymore, to be able to do all that I want to do, on top of what I need to do, and still keep the sane hat on, not to mention the physical tangible aspect of energy to walk and be conscious.
Trying to train and be deadly fast, study and ace, spend time with loves and myself all at the same time calls for tough decisions. Somewhere in the past weeks, some had to go and be compensated, nevertheless replaced by equally enjoyable irreplaceable times.
I'm just wondering if this is what I really want. If I can put up with the compensation. Afterall, every win deserves that sacrifice. I'm wondering if this win is it.