Spelunking? [standalone]
TITLE: Spelunking?
AUTHOR: Me!
RATING: So PG; slight sexual references, not even any cursing!
POV: Third.
PAIRING: There really isn't one. =\
SUMMARY: Slang terms can be funny sometimes. 967 words.
DISCLAIMER: You never know, but I doubt it.
A/N: Dedicated to betweenluvnlies for informing me of the other meaning of spelunking, and anyone else who actually reads this, since I can't really post it anywhere 'cause it doesn't have a pairing?? ♥
He asks Jon first, because...well, because Jon is cool in more than one way, and he knows things, and he knows if he asks Ryan or Spencer they’ll look at him like he’s stupid and roll their eyes because that’s their typical reaction to everything and -- okay so, he asks Jon first.
He finds Jon sitting outside the bus, and the air is golden and spring-sunshine warm, so Jon is taking pictures. Snap. Snap. He sits down carefully on the rocky pavement. Snap.
“Jon, I don’t want to bug you, but,” he says, and Jon smiles and sets the camera down, wrapping his arms around his knees.
“Not bugging, what’s up?”
“Well it’s kind of weird, but do you know what spelunking is?”
Jon scratches his head and twists the camera strap around his hand.
“Uhm, something to do with like, cave exploration? Rock climbing?”
Brendon frowns and pulls his lip into his mouth, putting his hands under him and pushing up, concrete scratching at his palms.
“I don’t think that’s what he meant,” he mumbles, more to himself than anything, and wanders inside the bus.
To the air, Jon says, “Uhm, what?” and laughs, shaking his head, and picks up the camera.
Snap.
+ + +
His second choice, for reasons that aren’t exactly built on a solid foundation, is Spencer Smith.
“Spencer Smith,” he says, sitting down on the couch and pulling his feet up under him. Spencer cocks an eyebrow, but doesn’t lift his eyes from the book on his lap, just flips the page.
“Brendon Urie?”
“Yes, exactly,” he says, and Spencer raises both eyebrows this time, but still doesn’t look up. “Spencer Smith, do you know what spelunking is? I asked Jon Walker, and he said that it’s, like, rocks. Or caves?”
“Exploring caves,” Spencer says, aggravation edging his voice, and Brendon bites the crescent off the nail on his left thumb.
“I really don’t think that’s what he meant,” he sighs, and stands up, heading out of the room.
“What who meant?” Spencer says, finally lifting his eyes from the book, but he finds the room empty. He just shakes his head and goes back to the book.
Flip.
+ + +
“Ryan. Ryan Ross.”
The hooks grate harshly in their metal track and Ryan pulls the curtain back, clip-on desk light shining bright against his notebook. He clicks the pen closed and curls it in his hand, shifting upright.
“At your service.”
And maybe Brendon should have asked him first, because he seems to be in a good mood, maybe, smiling a little.
“Well I asked Jon and Spencer already, but what they said didn’t make sense, so, do you know what spelunking is?”
Ryan frowns, eyebrows crinkling together, and clicks the pen open and shut against his bottom lip.
“I think its cave exploration,” (Brendon huffs) “and I’ve heard it used to mean sneaking around?”
Brendon’s eyes get a little wider.
“What kind of sneaking around?” he says, and Ryan shrugs, clicks the pen again.
“I don’t know, like, espionage. Theft?”
Brendon turns on his heel and mumbles something over his shoulder, and Ryan just laughs a little and pulls the curtain shut.
Click.
+ + +
They find Brendon in the back lounge, legs crossed under him, computer closed but humming in his lap, eyes scared-deer wide.
“Brendon?” Ryan tries, but he just stares. And then he starts to laugh, bordering on hysterical, and shakes his head.
“It means anal sex, guys,” he says, and when they don’t say anything, “I overheard Gabe on the phone talking about spelunking. Why did I have to look it up?” he wails, covering his face. “My brain will never be the same.” Ryan pats him on the shoulder, and Jon walks out of the room, covering his face and bursting into hysterical laughter as soon as he’s outside the door frame. Spencer just grins.
“So, Brendon, when you looked this up,” he says, and Brendon shoots him a look, “exactly what did you find?”
Brendon moans and falls sideways, computer slipping off his lap. “You don’t even want to know, dude. My eyes are still burning a little.”
From outside the door, Jon laughs louder, and Brendon yells for him to shut up, to which Jon replies by snuffling and taking it down to a dull roar. Ryan sits on the couch beside him, jabbing him in the thigh.
“Well you’ve seen porn before, it can’t be that bad,” he says, and Brendon looks up at him with huge eyes, disbelieving.
“Not just porn, Ross. Gay porn. Porn with just dudes.”
Spencer smirks, and Ryan stifles a laugh.
“You’ve never seen...?”
“No!” Brendon says, bolting upright, and then, “well, okay, but. Not like that. It was like, oh my god, Wayne’s World or something,” he sighs, and Spencer starts to laugh.
“Extreeeme close-up,” he says, bugging his eyes and covering his mouth, and stumbles out in to the hallway, tripping over Jon’s legs and falling face first onto the floor, thud!. “Oww,” he moans, and Jon starts laughing again.
“Oh for -- I don’t see how this is funny!” Brendon yells, throwing his arms in the air, and even Ryan is laughing now. Ryan turns to him and smiles a little, reaching over to slide the computer off Brendon’s lap and setting it on the floor at his feet.
“Well the thing is, that uhm, today...Gabe actually did kind of go cave exploring,” (from the hallway, Jon starts laughing again) “like, you know, with headlamps and harnesses and all that, because we’re near...”
Brendon opens and closes his mouth, “You mean I actually...oh my god,” and then stands up suddenly (Ryan thinks ahead) and starts to storm off, swinging the door open and stepping into the hallwa --
Thud!
+ + +
AUTHOR: Me!
RATING: So PG; slight sexual references, not even any cursing!
POV: Third.
PAIRING: There really isn't one. =\
SUMMARY: Slang terms can be funny sometimes. 967 words.
DISCLAIMER: You never know, but I doubt it.
A/N: Dedicated to betweenluvnlies for informing me of the other meaning of spelunking, and anyone else who actually reads this, since I can't really post it anywhere 'cause it doesn't have a pairing?? ♥
He asks Jon first, because...well, because Jon is cool in more than one way, and he knows things, and he knows if he asks Ryan or Spencer they’ll look at him like he’s stupid and roll their eyes because that’s their typical reaction to everything and -- okay so, he asks Jon first.
He finds Jon sitting outside the bus, and the air is golden and spring-sunshine warm, so Jon is taking pictures. Snap. Snap. He sits down carefully on the rocky pavement. Snap.
“Jon, I don’t want to bug you, but,” he says, and Jon smiles and sets the camera down, wrapping his arms around his knees.
“Not bugging, what’s up?”
“Well it’s kind of weird, but do you know what spelunking is?”
Jon scratches his head and twists the camera strap around his hand.
“Uhm, something to do with like, cave exploration? Rock climbing?”
Brendon frowns and pulls his lip into his mouth, putting his hands under him and pushing up, concrete scratching at his palms.
“I don’t think that’s what he meant,” he mumbles, more to himself than anything, and wanders inside the bus.
To the air, Jon says, “Uhm, what?” and laughs, shaking his head, and picks up the camera.
Snap.
+ + +
His second choice, for reasons that aren’t exactly built on a solid foundation, is Spencer Smith.
“Spencer Smith,” he says, sitting down on the couch and pulling his feet up under him. Spencer cocks an eyebrow, but doesn’t lift his eyes from the book on his lap, just flips the page.
“Brendon Urie?”
“Yes, exactly,” he says, and Spencer raises both eyebrows this time, but still doesn’t look up. “Spencer Smith, do you know what spelunking is? I asked Jon Walker, and he said that it’s, like, rocks. Or caves?”
“Exploring caves,” Spencer says, aggravation edging his voice, and Brendon bites the crescent off the nail on his left thumb.
“I really don’t think that’s what he meant,” he sighs, and stands up, heading out of the room.
“What who meant?” Spencer says, finally lifting his eyes from the book, but he finds the room empty. He just shakes his head and goes back to the book.
Flip.
+ + +
“Ryan. Ryan Ross.”
The hooks grate harshly in their metal track and Ryan pulls the curtain back, clip-on desk light shining bright against his notebook. He clicks the pen closed and curls it in his hand, shifting upright.
“At your service.”
And maybe Brendon should have asked him first, because he seems to be in a good mood, maybe, smiling a little.
“Well I asked Jon and Spencer already, but what they said didn’t make sense, so, do you know what spelunking is?”
Ryan frowns, eyebrows crinkling together, and clicks the pen open and shut against his bottom lip.
“I think its cave exploration,” (Brendon huffs) “and I’ve heard it used to mean sneaking around?”
Brendon’s eyes get a little wider.
“What kind of sneaking around?” he says, and Ryan shrugs, clicks the pen again.
“I don’t know, like, espionage. Theft?”
Brendon turns on his heel and mumbles something over his shoulder, and Ryan just laughs a little and pulls the curtain shut.
Click.
+ + +
They find Brendon in the back lounge, legs crossed under him, computer closed but humming in his lap, eyes scared-deer wide.
“Brendon?” Ryan tries, but he just stares. And then he starts to laugh, bordering on hysterical, and shakes his head.
“It means anal sex, guys,” he says, and when they don’t say anything, “I overheard Gabe on the phone talking about spelunking. Why did I have to look it up?” he wails, covering his face. “My brain will never be the same.” Ryan pats him on the shoulder, and Jon walks out of the room, covering his face and bursting into hysterical laughter as soon as he’s outside the door frame. Spencer just grins.
“So, Brendon, when you looked this up,” he says, and Brendon shoots him a look, “exactly what did you find?”
Brendon moans and falls sideways, computer slipping off his lap. “You don’t even want to know, dude. My eyes are still burning a little.”
From outside the door, Jon laughs louder, and Brendon yells for him to shut up, to which Jon replies by snuffling and taking it down to a dull roar. Ryan sits on the couch beside him, jabbing him in the thigh.
“Well you’ve seen porn before, it can’t be that bad,” he says, and Brendon looks up at him with huge eyes, disbelieving.
“Not just porn, Ross. Gay porn. Porn with just dudes.”
Spencer smirks, and Ryan stifles a laugh.
“You’ve never seen...?”
“No!” Brendon says, bolting upright, and then, “well, okay, but. Not like that. It was like, oh my god, Wayne’s World or something,” he sighs, and Spencer starts to laugh.
“Extreeeme close-up,” he says, bugging his eyes and covering his mouth, and stumbles out in to the hallway, tripping over Jon’s legs and falling face first onto the floor, thud!. “Oww,” he moans, and Jon starts laughing again.
“Oh for -- I don’t see how this is funny!” Brendon yells, throwing his arms in the air, and even Ryan is laughing now. Ryan turns to him and smiles a little, reaching over to slide the computer off Brendon’s lap and setting it on the floor at his feet.
“Well the thing is, that uhm, today...Gabe actually did kind of go cave exploring,” (from the hallway, Jon starts laughing again) “like, you know, with headlamps and harnesses and all that, because we’re near...”
Brendon opens and closes his mouth, “You mean I actually...oh my god,” and then stands up suddenly (Ryan thinks ahead) and starts to storm off, swinging the door open and stepping into the hallwa --
Thud!
+ + +