good intentions
My recent urge in self loathing has taken a new angle. I over analyze everything to the point where I don't remember what I was analyzing in the first place. I seem to be neurotic in a sense about some things. I leave most things at the not knowing stage rather than taking the initiative and finding out for myself. This journal has morphed from a daily blog of events to the one place I nitpick all my faults and let the entire world see. When im nervous I ramble, I seem to be doing that a lot lately. Im not very social and I need to feel comfortable to talk. I long for people I can trust and lately there have been few. I wish I could wake up one morning and be a different person. I have different ideas with different people. I still feel like moving and not telling anyone. I still long for philosophical talks concerning matters that have nothing to do with me. Where exactly did all these thoughts come from? Why am I not satisfied with life as of late. I ask too many questions but I never seek answers.
Right now the not knowing is worse than anything.
Right now the not knowing is worse than anything.