isn't that how you feel, still?
"For he was my first husband. He changed me and my whole life. After him, in my frenzy of lonely unhappiness, I believed I could return to what I had been before he had married me, and I would take men to bed (in reality now, just as I had, before, in my imagination), but it was no longer possible, it did not work, for I had been possessed by a man, the Man had created in me himself, had left himself in me[.]
[...]
For a long time it was as if I was dead, empty, sterile.
[...]
A long time went by, and I began to feel I would soon be an old woman. I was without love, and I would not be a good artist, not really, the touch of the man who loved me was fading off me, had faded, there was something lacking in my work now, it was beginning to be mechanical."
- again, Lessing.
Just fucking with you.
[...]
For a long time it was as if I was dead, empty, sterile.
[...]
A long time went by, and I began to feel I would soon be an old woman. I was without love, and I would not be a good artist, not really, the touch of the man who loved me was fading off me, had faded, there was something lacking in my work now, it was beginning to be mechanical."
- again, Lessing.
Just fucking with you.