(no subject)

Aug 12, 2003 00:13

I posted a whole bunch of pictures to Leif's website today. I discovered that photoshop has an option to automatically generate photo albums. Neat. So it's now an actual website, and not just a list of pictures.

I went to the doctor today. I'm all healthy. My blood pressure is way down (100/60), and I'm a bit below my pre-pregnancy weight. Yay.


Actually, I don't know if losing weight that fast is healthy. That's 30+ pounds in 6 weeks. A lot of that was baby/placenta/water weight, but still, it seems like a lot. Though it wouldn't surprise me if a lot of what I gained was water weight, since I didn't really gain all that much before my blood pressure started going up (both are preeclampsia symptoms).

It's probably fine, especially since I'm still about 30lbs above my ideal weight.

My old jeans still don't fit, even though I'm now at a weight where they used to fit just fine. I don't know if this is due to changes in my bone structure or fat distribution. Whatever it is, I wish it would go away. I do know that pregnancy causes permanent changes to the hips, and I'm hoping that doesn't mean that I'll be permanently stuck at around the size I am now, regardless of whether I lose weight or not.

I realize that this is me being a slave to the fashion industry, which states that dress size equates to level of fatness, which isn't true. I should really just forget about size, wear what fits, and work on being healthy.

Anyways, I asked the doctor whether Leif had been facing backwards, since I'd had a lot of back labor. She said no, but that I had a retroverted uterus, and that was probably the cause. That's interesting to know. Doesn't mean much of anything, except that I'll probably have back labor during any future births, too. This doesn't bother me, really. I dealt with it this time, so chances are I'll manage in the future. The idea of normal contractions actually frightens me more now, even though back labor is supposedly more painful, since they're an unknown.

This is also probably why the first nurse had so much trouble finding my cervix.

I almost forgot to mention... koyote and I got married on Friday. Then we went and saw American Wedding. We thought it would be appropriate. It was Leif's first movie, too. He nursed pretty much the whole time, so he was quiet.

Friday morning, we went to the courthouse to get a marriage license. On our way out, a woman came up to us and said (pointing to Leif), "Is that Elijah?" We said no, of course. She said that he looked just like her son Elijah - he had the same outfit (I think every kid born this summer has this particular outfit), and the same stork bite on his eye.

This kind of freaked me out. koyote thinks that she was probably on drugs, and CPS took the baby away. I don't doubt that he's right. Poor kid.

So I've now eloped. This amuses me. My cousin, the only other married person on that side of the family, also eloped (and didn't tell anyone for six months). Perhaps we're starting a trend! There's also a child out of wedlock trend going. I find this interesting. It feels to me like our family has always pretended to be perfect (intentionally or not), while really being pretty dysfunctional. Tom, would you agree with this?

Or perhaps that's just normal.

I've been pondering what I'd do if I suddenly became rich. Not hugely "never have to worry about money again" rich, but considerably richer than I am now (which wouldn't really take much - we have no debt now, but we don't have much saved up beyond that, either. We're working on it).

I think that growing up not-rich in Coronado (one of the richest parts of San Diego (or anywhere, for that matter)) left me with a real distaste for richness. My friends and I generally had to work for things we wanted beyond the necessities - I started a pet sitting business in 5th grade in order to save money for the 8th grade class trip to the east coast, and had jobs pretty much continually from that point on.

Anyways, I'm not sure what I'm trying to say, except that the idea of being rich bugs me. Or perhaps more to the point, the idea of giving Leif everything he wants bugs me. Not that I don't want him to be happy, but consumerism doesn't necessarily lead to happiness. Not that being rich means I have to give him everything he wants, but it takes away the convenient "We can't afford it" excuse.

(I'm being hypocritical here. The idea of being able to buy whatever I want doesn't bother me. I don't think I'm really all that much better at objectively assessing what is "worth it" just because I'm an adult, yet I want to make that decision for other people).

I should now do laundry and go to bed, as the boy will want me awake at some time in the morning before I really feel like being awake.

I have a hard time expressing myself. Most of what I've said in this entry isn't what I really meant to say. Oh well. I've always had this problem where my brain thinks faster than I can get the words out (verbal, typed, or written, it doesn't matter). I'll have all these wonderful thoughts in my head, and when I try to write them, it just doesn't work. I've sometimes thought that if I could have a thought recorder, I could very easily be a professional writer. Except that everyone else is probably the same way, so if thought recorders existed, the standards would go up.

Besides, the idea of thought recorders and the Bush administration is just frightening.

Ok, off to bed.

homeland insanity, relationships, media, pictures, body, writer's block, leif

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