(no subject)

Apr 20, 2004 23:28

The weather has suddenly turned warm here (we had one day of pleasant weather - it basically went from too cold to too hot immediately), meaning I'm wearing short sleeves full time again.

This leaves me wondering... what the heck was I thinking in high school (and middle school and college, for that matter)?

The majority of my shirts are size XL. They're tents on me. I'm currently wearing a medium, and it fits decently. At my lowest point in high school, I weighed 30 lbs less than I do now; at my highest I may have weighed as much as I weighed now, but probably 10 lbs less (with more muscle weight). Yet I still wore XL.

The oldest shirt in my closet is from 7th grade, so this went back at least that far.

Someone should have smacked me with a clue.

I know part of the problem was tactile issues. Loose stuff just felt more comfortable. I remember having one shirt that was a medium or large, and liking how it looked, but feeling strangled by the neckline. I don't suppose it was really any tighter at the neck than the shirt I'm currently wearing. I just had issues.

Most of it was body image, though.

Dear Middle/High School Self,

You may wear jeans and a t-shirt every day if you so desire. However, you are not allowed to wear shirts larger than size medium, or jeans larger than size 10. Really, you're not fat. Especially not in 10th/11th grade.

Having boobs is not a bad thing.

And if it feels uncomfortable, you'll get over it if you just give it a shot. Really. Or try a shirt with a lower neckline.

However, given the lack of attention you've paid to my notes on other subjects, I can only assume that this one will be ignored, too.

Love,
Your Future Self

I want some new shirts.

what if?, body

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