(no subject)
I always feel like I have a lot to say, and then when I sit down to type it out, I never can find words.
I was thinking today, and relatively the last week or two, about the lives people choose to live. There are some people who are extremely religous, living everyday for God, and having good clean fun, etc, I don't know, but you get the type. Then, there's the other side of the spectrum, which are people who just sort of slip by day by day, and party, drink, smoke, etc. Wildly creative, having fun, being catty. I think of some people, and then others.
I think about my friends, and almost everyone's a partier. All of my screenwriting friends are alcoholics, and I really don't know what I'm getting at. I like this side of the spectrum better, and sometimes I feel guilty, like I should try to clean up and be responsible, and blah blah blah. But, I just like doing what I do and being who I am right now too much. Either way, I am being productive.
I was also thinking about something else. Perry was really upset today because it ended with him and Lauren. I was thinking about my life. It's been a while since I had let a person so close that they could really get to me. Well, in fact, it's only happened once where I'd been affected by someone, and really hurt, and that was almost 3 years ago now. The thought that I had was that I never let anyone get close enough to me emotionally to have that pain again.
I didn't know what to make of that observation. Am I emotionally vaccant? Or, am I just harder to open up? Or, to be trite, is there a 'wall' there? I don't know. But, I know I haven't let someone get so close to me to really bring me down in a while, and I don't plan on getting intamately close to anyone for a while, and I'm just thinking about the possible cause of things, and the ripples things create. It was a weird thought.
I've been thinking a lot about money lately. I want to buy my camera right now, and install my software, and learn to use everything.
I'm also coming to the end of my newest screenplay. I'm at page 75, and it should clock in around 90, maybe 95 at the most, pages. I think this is the longest thing I've written. I hope it's as decent as I think it is. It's very differnet from my last one, and I don't know if I succeed on the emotional scenes, and on subtle character creating. My friend at work, or ex work, Dave read bits and sections of it, but it was kinda botched, but he liked it. Maybe that's a good sign.
I'm tired now. Nite.
I was thinking today, and relatively the last week or two, about the lives people choose to live. There are some people who are extremely religous, living everyday for God, and having good clean fun, etc, I don't know, but you get the type. Then, there's the other side of the spectrum, which are people who just sort of slip by day by day, and party, drink, smoke, etc. Wildly creative, having fun, being catty. I think of some people, and then others.
I think about my friends, and almost everyone's a partier. All of my screenwriting friends are alcoholics, and I really don't know what I'm getting at. I like this side of the spectrum better, and sometimes I feel guilty, like I should try to clean up and be responsible, and blah blah blah. But, I just like doing what I do and being who I am right now too much. Either way, I am being productive.
I was also thinking about something else. Perry was really upset today because it ended with him and Lauren. I was thinking about my life. It's been a while since I had let a person so close that they could really get to me. Well, in fact, it's only happened once where I'd been affected by someone, and really hurt, and that was almost 3 years ago now. The thought that I had was that I never let anyone get close enough to me emotionally to have that pain again.
I didn't know what to make of that observation. Am I emotionally vaccant? Or, am I just harder to open up? Or, to be trite, is there a 'wall' there? I don't know. But, I know I haven't let someone get so close to me to really bring me down in a while, and I don't plan on getting intamately close to anyone for a while, and I'm just thinking about the possible cause of things, and the ripples things create. It was a weird thought.
I've been thinking a lot about money lately. I want to buy my camera right now, and install my software, and learn to use everything.
I'm also coming to the end of my newest screenplay. I'm at page 75, and it should clock in around 90, maybe 95 at the most, pages. I think this is the longest thing I've written. I hope it's as decent as I think it is. It's very differnet from my last one, and I don't know if I succeed on the emotional scenes, and on subtle character creating. My friend at work, or ex work, Dave read bits and sections of it, but it was kinda botched, but he liked it. Maybe that's a good sign.
I'm tired now. Nite.