I was going to let this slide as yet another comment that I was obviously just misreading, then I read it more carefully, realized that you were likely talking about my group of friends, and decided to check my farewell thread.
I noticed that yes, you commented to tell me goodbye, and I hadn't responded.
And you know what? I missed it.
I know it's been noted by various and sundry that I am really bad at replying to comments that I get.
There are really good reasons for this, and I'm not going to sit here and be shamed because God forbid, I didn't respond to the nice thing that you'd said. The reasons are thus:
1). I have comment notifications turned off.
I've found in the time that I have been on lj that more often than not, they get eaten. So I have them turned off. I don't always see all the comments I get because of this.
2). I'm not always great about responding to comments anyway.
I have said it before and I will say it again: I have social anxiety to such an extent that most people that know me are amazed that I am able to play the game. Depending on my anxiety load for the day, it can be incredibly stressful to come back and check for comments, especially on something like the farewell thread, where I was content enough to let things lie.
I missed what you had to say. Evidently, that's s a sign that I'm horribly rude. OK. Fine. I'm rude.
But if I'm rude, so are you.
You have spent the last two months of this competition implying that there is some kind of special circle of friendship that you have been excluded from, as though there's an alliance that is aiming to get you out.
I'm going to hold my head up and spell it out for everyone: you and others have implied that myself and my friends are at the center of some kind of "friendship alliance".
And I'm happy to tell you, whatever you might think, it doesn't exist.
I have befriended whomever wanted to be my friend in this competition. I was not friends with anyone, minus Sean, before this competition started. Everyone else? I have met or connected with through Idol.
Do you want to know how I met them, how I connected with them and we eventually became friends?
Easy. I was open and friendly.
I started a workshop, and invited in anyone who wanted to join.
When the workshop took off, I began hosting weekly chats on IRC-again, open to anyone who wanted to participate.
That's how I've met people. That is the "super-secret friendship alliance" that people are so keen on passive-aggressively posting about in the Green Room.
I have social anxiety to such an extent as it's hard for me to socialize with people, and I forced myself to talk to others because it is good for me and because, despite the horrible diagnosis, I am an extrovert. If you're not, fine. Maybe you have a more difficult time making friends for other reasons-I don't know. But this isn't due to some strange planning. I don't have a crack team of poll assassins, ready to knock out anyone that "we" (...we?) don't like.
No one is trying to steal your thunder or take away from the gravity of you being eliminated.
lrig_rorrim has been traveling and does not have reliable internet until she's back home. I had to text the results post to her, actually, because she wasn't able to see it.
I'm assuming those are the two that you were talking about, so let me reassure you: it's not about you.
Your bizarre comments in the results post and the Green Rooms to the side, I have gone out of my way to tell you that I do not have a problem with you.
I have done my best to be kind and fair and gentle, attempting to correct things through PM when I realize that I have not lived up to the standards I set for myself.
Up until this comment I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that I was not reading things correctly, but that doesn't seem to be the case.
Passive-aggressive comments are irritating. If you have a problem with me, tell me directly, instead of saying one thing through PM and then quite another in public.
If you have a problem with me, tell me directly, instead of saying one thing through PM and then quite another in public.
The same could be said of you.
I unfriended you weeks, maybe even months ago because I got tired of watching you play this totally innocent card, when you aren't. The "super secret friendship circle" isn't secret, because you guys never intended for it to be a secret.
But let me tell you, you guys really aren't as inclusive and open as you like to claim you are. I felt uncomfortable in that chat room; it was immediately obvious I was the outsider. Whether it was intentional or not, who knows.
Thing is, jexia isn't the only one who feels that there is something hokey going on within your group. Or at least with a select few of you. She isn't the only one who thought that something felt "off" with the voting, after she's managed to piss you or Sean off. (And yes, I know I've pissed you both off.) This is how I perceived things within the last few weeks of my run, as well. If I didn't go out on a Gatekeeper week like I had, I probably would have made similar comments.
It may not be an intentional secret alliance; but it's still there, it still had an impact on how some of us felt while playing, and it did impact how we played. Whether you choose to own that or not is up to you.
Back in Season 4 - yes, Grandpa Gary is mentioning Season 4 again - there was a group of Idolers who set up a thing called "Sheep Stations".
It was open to anyone who wanted to join. They would sit around and talk about Idol, or whatever else was on their mind. They would bounce off ideas for stories, try to help each other, complain about twists or how so-and-so really annoyed them.
They saw themselves as a group of friends hanging out, who because they talked, ended up on the same page quite often.
Idol history has considered them one of the "first major alliances".
Was it? For some people.
For others, it was just friends doing what friends do.
I guess from where I sit, having hung out on the periphery of one of the friend-groups this year and also having been a part of something that we explicitly acknowledged as an alliance during season 8? I didn't see a whole lot of difference between the two. The biggest difference is the fact that in the alliance, we set out to create an alliance. Everything else aside, I don't think that was the original goal of the friend-group I saw this season.
But, like, in my alliance? We didn't sit around cackling and rubbing our hands and figuring out how to rig the votes. We bounced ideas off each other and talked about who we liked in the game and who we didn't, and there was some trash talk at times (and if you don't think that happens in a group of friends, too, wellllllll). And in addition to that, we agreed to vote for each other (and pimp for each other when necessary) until top 10.
That last part didn't happen until... top 30? And who knows if everyone stuck to the agreement? I did, even a couple times when I didn't want to. But in general, isn't that how a lot of people handle their votes as far as their friends in the game are concerned?
I really like jexia and I also really like some of the people in one of the friend-groups from this season. And I don't really want to start drama, but lord knows I manage to do it half the time anyway, so que sera sera or whatever. But yeah, either my alliance was Doing It Rong or else there ain't a whole lot of difference between an alliance and "a group of friends" in this game.
Oh, God, Gary. Are you trying to raise my blood pressure?
They may have had an open membership, but I seem to remember they had a closed community and one of their agreements was they would support each other in Idol - meaning agree to vote for each other over people not in the group. And they did strategically vote.
Thank you. I talked with someone else about this earlier in the season and, no, the "rules", such as they were, were clearly in place and weren't...it wasn't a group of friends trying to support each other. It was pretty clearly strategic voting. Transparently so, even.
This is the worst part about being accused of acting in some sort of secret alliance-everything you say (denying that there is one) is easily turned on its head, because of course you'd say that if you had an alliance.
Blergh. :P
I may abstain from voting in the next round, just because of this.
lol: 'whether you choose to own to that or not is up to you'
First of all, the difference between their public/private behavior, one might imagine, is that Jenn isn't the one throwing a hissyfit in public. You sort of glossed over that, so, no, the same could not be said.
Second, your entire post can be condensed into a single line: 'well you act innocent but I think there's something fishy though I have no proof'. Crappy FUD posts doesn't suit you Alicia; you should be able to do better than that. At least put something real on the table. You felt that something was off on the votes? You have the entirely of voting history. Comb through it. Let Idol know what looks fishy.
Heck, I dunno, maybe bring your concerns to Gary? That sounds like a relevant thing to do. I have, in the past.
Let me make it crystal clear, since you apparently conflate not liking you or anyone else for nefarious voting shenanigans. My principles are this: when I vote, I vote purely based on merit of the individual's post that week - not their past performance, not future possible performance. I have, in multiple weeks, not voted for my friends and given feedback on why I did not. I treat Idol like an actual writing competition (and would make it blind, if I could). Hell, when I friend people, it's because I want to read more of their writing, not because of what they post in the Green Room.
If you think that philosophy is compatible with vote collusion or manipulation, you're incredibly wrong. And I'm completely open to opening up my entire voting history, if Gary wants to give it out, to prove just how wrong you are.
I think there's an overarching philosophical distinction here that feels like it is unknown to you, and that's the difference between liking someone and respecting someone. I am friends with a few of the competitors, but I respect almost all of them. Like I wrote in my goodbye post, everyone deserves to be here, and while their personality may not be my cup of tea, I do not respect them less for it. Similarly, I respect the competition itself enough that to manipulate it would be grossly wrong.
So yes, sometimes people say things - like say now - that make me shake my head in befuddlement, at best. I don't necessarily like you. But I respect Idol and its competitors enough that I would not stoop to such levels.
Finally, on the friend-circle-thing - I don't think any group of friends has to be super open and all-inclusive to everyone. I think a group should try, sure, but again, there's no obligation. People are not one big happy family, and some people mesh better than others. watching_ships and swirlsofblue and bleodswean seem pretty close but I'm not sitting here complaining about how excluded I feel. Sometimes you don't fit in with a specific group - that doesn't make it a secret alliance, and that doesn't make it their responsibility for what you do in response to them.
Even though it snows sometime, I don't think you automatically assume that the weather gods are out to get you. Similarly, even though people can be friends with each other and not you in Idol, it doesn't mean they have anything to 'own up to'.
I found it pretty amusing right up until someone accused me of fucking with the votes...which I have not done. Ever.
This has crossed the line, for me, from "...okay, flouncing and general old-fashioned livejournal drama" to "someone has a specific grudge against me and is accusing me of ruining their Idol experience"-which I find really disheartening.
It's bad enough to have lost a friend. It's worse to find out that your former friend thinks that poorly of you.
You do seem to be having fun with it, though. I guess there's that.
I don't understand why I'm being pulled into this, called out by name even. Sadly, I don't even know watching_ships' given name...but I do like her, nonetheless. I tend to like everyone. If I have had an issue with someone, I guarantee that that someone knows exactly why.
I missed the part where folks were accused of messing with the votes or stumping or whathaveyou. There is no question, though, that the polls are confusing.
I noticed that yes, you commented to tell me goodbye, and I hadn't responded.
And you know what? I missed it.
I know it's been noted by various and sundry that I am really bad at replying to comments that I get.
There are really good reasons for this, and I'm not going to sit here and be shamed because God forbid, I didn't respond to the nice thing that you'd said. The reasons are thus:
1). I have comment notifications turned off.
I've found in the time that I have been on lj that more often than not, they get eaten. So I have them turned off. I don't always see all the comments I get because of this.
2). I'm not always great about responding to comments anyway.
I have said it before and I will say it again: I have social anxiety to such an extent that most people that know me are amazed that I am able to play the game. Depending on my anxiety load for the day, it can be incredibly stressful to come back and check for comments, especially on something like the farewell thread, where I was content enough to let things lie.
I missed what you had to say. Evidently, that's s a sign that I'm horribly rude. OK. Fine. I'm rude.
But if I'm rude, so are you.
You have spent the last two months of this competition implying that there is some kind of special circle of friendship that you have been excluded from, as though there's an alliance that is aiming to get you out.
I'm going to hold my head up and spell it out for everyone: you and others have implied that myself and my friends are at the center of some kind of "friendship alliance".
And I'm happy to tell you, whatever you might think, it doesn't exist.
I have befriended whomever wanted to be my friend in this competition. I was not friends with anyone, minus Sean, before this competition started. Everyone else? I have met or connected with through Idol.
Do you want to know how I met them, how I connected with them and we eventually became friends?
Easy. I was open and friendly.
I started a workshop, and invited in anyone who wanted to join.
When the workshop took off, I began hosting weekly chats on IRC-again, open to anyone who wanted to participate.
That's how I've met people. That is the "super-secret friendship alliance" that people are so keen on passive-aggressively posting about in the Green Room.
I have social anxiety to such an extent as it's hard for me to socialize with people, and I forced myself to talk to others because it is good for me and because, despite the horrible diagnosis, I am an extrovert. If you're not, fine. Maybe you have a more difficult time making friends for other reasons-I don't know. But this isn't due to some strange planning. I don't have a crack team of poll assassins, ready to knock out anyone that "we" (...we?) don't like.
No one is trying to steal your thunder or take away from the gravity of you being eliminated.
gratefuladdict posted with what's up with her.
lrig_rorrim has been traveling and does not have reliable internet until she's back home. I had to text the results post to her, actually, because she wasn't able to see it.
I'm assuming those are the two that you were talking about, so let me reassure you: it's not about you.
Your bizarre comments in the results post and the Green Rooms to the side, I have gone out of my way to tell you that I do not have a problem with you.
I have done my best to be kind and fair and gentle, attempting to correct things through PM when I realize that I have not lived up to the standards I set for myself.
Up until this comment I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that I was not reading things correctly, but that doesn't seem to be the case.
Passive-aggressive comments are irritating. If you have a problem with me, tell me directly, instead of saying one thing through PM and then quite another in public.
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The same could be said of you.
I unfriended you weeks, maybe even months ago because I got tired of watching you play this totally innocent card, when you aren't. The "super secret friendship circle" isn't secret, because you guys never intended for it to be a secret.
But let me tell you, you guys really aren't as inclusive and open as you like to claim you are. I felt uncomfortable in that chat room; it was immediately obvious I was the outsider. Whether it was intentional or not, who knows.
Thing is, jexia isn't the only one who feels that there is something hokey going on within your group. Or at least with a select few of you. She isn't the only one who thought that something felt "off" with the voting, after she's managed to piss you or Sean off. (And yes, I know I've pissed you both off.) This is how I perceived things within the last few weeks of my run, as well. If I didn't go out on a Gatekeeper week like I had, I probably would have made similar comments.
It may not be an intentional secret alliance; but it's still there, it still had an impact on how some of us felt while playing, and it did impact how we played. Whether you choose to own that or not is up to you.
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It was open to anyone who wanted to join. They would sit around and talk about Idol, or whatever else was on their mind. They would bounce off ideas for stories, try to help each other, complain about twists or how so-and-so really annoyed them.
They saw themselves as a group of friends hanging out, who because they talked, ended up on the same page quite often.
Idol history has considered them one of the "first major alliances".
Was it? For some people.
For others, it was just friends doing what friends do.
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I just wanted to talk about Sheep Stations.
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But, like, in my alliance? We didn't sit around cackling and rubbing our hands and figuring out how to rig the votes. We bounced ideas off each other and talked about who we liked in the game and who we didn't, and there was some trash talk at times (and if you don't think that happens in a group of friends, too, wellllllll). And in addition to that, we agreed to vote for each other (and pimp for each other when necessary) until top 10.
That last part didn't happen until... top 30? And who knows if everyone stuck to the agreement? I did, even a couple times when I didn't want to. But in general, isn't that how a lot of people handle their votes as far as their friends in the game are concerned?
I really like jexia and I also really like some of the people in one of the friend-groups from this season. And I don't really want to start drama, but lord knows I manage to do it half the time anyway, so que sera sera or whatever. But yeah, either my alliance was Doing It Rong or else there ain't a whole lot of difference between an alliance and "a group of friends" in this game.
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Oh, God, Gary. Are you trying to raise my blood pressure?
They may have had an open membership, but I seem to remember they had a closed community and one of their agreements was they would support each other in Idol - meaning agree to vote for each other over people not in the group. And they did strategically vote.
I don't want to think about it. Ugh.
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This is the worst part about being accused of acting in some sort of secret alliance-everything you say (denying that there is one) is easily turned on its head, because of course you'd say that if you had an alliance.
Blergh. :P
I may abstain from voting in the next round, just because of this.
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First of all, the difference between their public/private behavior, one might imagine, is that Jenn isn't the one throwing a hissyfit in public. You sort of glossed over that, so, no, the same could not be said.
Second, your entire post can be condensed into a single line: 'well you act innocent but I think there's something fishy though I have no proof'. Crappy FUD posts doesn't suit you Alicia; you should be able to do better than that. At least put something real on the table. You felt that something was off on the votes? You have the entirely of voting history. Comb through it. Let Idol know what looks fishy.
Heck, I dunno, maybe bring your concerns to Gary? That sounds like a relevant thing to do. I have, in the past.
Let me make it crystal clear, since you apparently conflate not liking you or anyone else for nefarious voting shenanigans. My principles are this: when I vote, I vote purely based on merit of the individual's post that week - not their past performance, not future possible performance. I have, in multiple weeks, not voted for my friends and given feedback on why I did not. I treat Idol like an actual writing competition (and would make it blind, if I could). Hell, when I friend people, it's because I want to read more of their writing, not because of what they post in the Green Room.
If you think that philosophy is compatible with vote collusion or manipulation, you're incredibly wrong. And I'm completely open to opening up my entire voting history, if Gary wants to give it out, to prove just how wrong you are.
I think there's an overarching philosophical distinction here that feels like it is unknown to you, and that's the difference between liking someone and respecting someone. I am friends with a few of the competitors, but I respect almost all of them. Like I wrote in my goodbye post, everyone deserves to be here, and while their personality may not be my cup of tea, I do not respect them less for it. Similarly, I respect the competition itself enough that to manipulate it would be grossly wrong.
So yes, sometimes people say things - like say now - that make me shake my head in befuddlement, at best. I don't necessarily like you. But I respect Idol and its competitors enough that I would not stoop to such levels.
Finally, on the friend-circle-thing - I don't think any group of friends has to be super open and all-inclusive to everyone. I think a group should try, sure, but again, there's no obligation. People are not one big happy family, and some people mesh better than others. watching_ships and swirlsofblue and bleodswean seem pretty close but I'm not sitting here complaining about how excluded I feel. Sometimes you don't fit in with a specific group - that doesn't make it a secret alliance, and that doesn't make it their responsibility for what you do in response to them.
Even though it snows sometime, I don't think you automatically assume that the weather gods are out to get you. Similarly, even though people can be friends with each other and not you in Idol, it doesn't mean they have anything to 'own up to'.
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[sobs dramatically, clearly] :P
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But actually, this isn't that funny, to me.
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This has crossed the line, for me, from "...okay, flouncing and general old-fashioned livejournal drama" to "someone has a specific grudge against me and is accusing me of ruining their Idol experience"-which I find really disheartening.
It's bad enough to have lost a friend. It's worse to find out that your former friend thinks that poorly of you.
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I don't understand why I'm being pulled into this, called out by name even. Sadly, I don't even know watching_ships' given name...but I do like her, nonetheless. I tend to like everyone. If I have had an issue with someone, I guarantee that that someone knows exactly why.
I missed the part where folks were accused of messing with the votes or stumping or whathaveyou. There is no question, though, that the polls are confusing.
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