Green Room - Week 38 - Day 3

[clauderainsrm]

We had a training session this morning about the dangers of misuse of personal identifiable information and compliance with European standards. In listing "previous problems: that they had before the implementation of this law: The Nazis

Comments

[kickthehobbit]

...after three straight days of panicking (because, oh God champions, I am so bad at the ask, I don't know anyone outside of Idol who writes and I keep my lj VERY SEPARATE from my Real Life for a bunch of reasons, mostly including crazy family that will threaten to disown me Yet Again)-it's done and it's posted and if fodschwazzle and his wife are ever in Oregon I'm buying them both a beer.

I can happily say that I didn't give a damn about which topic I had to pick. I had ideas for the final one I had remaining (since I did the hard ones first). It was actually finding someone to serve as a champion that almost killed me. I had a panic attack the night the guidelines went up-first time in years-and didn't formally start writing anything until yesterday afternoon...at which point I wrote about 6K words, which is a horrifying new record, even for me.

fod and lrig_rorrim calmed me down some, and gratefuladdict provided levity, as always, but I have to say...

Writing a bunch of different topics in a super-short period of time for Hell Week? Fine.

Making me talk to other people, thus reminding me that I have what a therapist once called "the worst case of social anxiety I have ever seen without accompanying agoraphobia"? NO. :P

[crisp_sobriety]

*hugs* I'm sorry.

I wasn't happy about the champion idea either, for a lot of the same reasons (I'm something of a hermit). I'm glad you managed to get it sorted. :)

[kickthehobbit]

Yeah. I finally just sucked it up and went, "I don't know anyone who would be an 'ideal' champion for Gary without bringing in people I know IRL, and I'm not comfortable with that...so I'm going to go ahead, ask someone I wanted to write with but didn't get the chance to, and hope that they say yes and don't think I'm weird."

...fodschwazzle said yes. Not so sure about the "weird" thing. :)

I guess I should clarify the "people I know irl" and explain.

Outside of my partner/roommate, everyone that knows I have an lj is someone I met on the internet. I lead pretty separate professional/personal lives, for a bunch of reasons-I'm queer and it's actually sort of a Big Deal for what I do, unfortunately; ditto the "having a mental illness" thing-and I have been burned, very badly, by my family finding my journal. These days it's an "open secret", but I still prefer maintaining that level of division, and I didn't want to ask anyone that didn't already know about my journal...thus limiting the pool.

Being closeted, even partially, sucks, y'all.

[anyonesghost]

This makes perfect sense to me. I keep "the_lettersea" pretty distinct from my real life (different specifics, same principle), and my friends list is sparse in terms of non-Idollers at this point. Finding someone new (that I trusted (who would write well (at speed (and was willing to try Idol)))) would have taken some doing. I think I well would have done the same thing, in your shoes.

[kickthehobbit]

Yeah. I mean, I read it and essentially went, "...well, fuck."

I'm glad that other people were able to recruit outside of Idol. If we weren't in the final push (and therefore had plenty of time) I would probably have asked friends to put out feelers for me, but...well. Final push. Zero time. I did what I was comfortable with.