The Killing Floor - Week 2

[clauderainsrm]

What the hell is this? It's a special place for people to submit their work for critique. Not "You rock", but no being an asshat either. Actually looking at the work and thinking of ways to make it better.

Why "The Killing Floor"? - I've had this in mind for awhile. The working name was "The Cutting Room Floor". But then I got that Howlin'

Comments

[n3m3sis43]

OMG, the window pane thing seems so obvious now that you've pointed it out. And yet. Thank you, because that's ouchy and definitely does not make any sense. XD

I was afraid some of the writing (especially toward the beginning) might be too choppy, so thank you for letting me know that, too. The weird placement of "'s" at the end of words is a thing these guys tend to do, but I need to find a way of doing it that's not offputting and confusing for the reader (or else not do it).

And yes, I actually have a whole (mostly awful) first draft of a novel related to these characters (well, actually, poor Eric is only in a chapter of it). There are also odd bits and pieces of a second draft but I seem incapable of writing an entire novel in order.

I have done a lot of worldbuilding and character development, have more or less an idea of plot (I'm a discovery/character-driven writer, so plot is always a bit relative), and just... need to write the second draft, which has proved very challenging for me so far.

(Thank you for not smacking me!)

Oh, and I meant to ask:
- If I take out the first paragraph, should I start it with the second one that's already there, or do I need more lead-in than that? I have a hard time with opening lines.
- If you have any advice at all on the making-things-into-cohesive-whole-novel front, it is greatly appreciated.

Sorry I typed a novel of a comment!

[bleodswean]

There is no requirement that you write in a linear fashion. Grab scenes as they come to you and flesh them out later. Nabokov wrote all of his novels on 3x5 cards as he circumnavigated the duck pond. I think those of us who are not plot-driven and rely on our characters to tell us their story tend to write in scenes rather than in A to B lines. Give yourself permission to do this. Bearing in mind, that this technique does sometimes require you to unstring an entire line of scenes because of continuity issues with a later scene/revelation.

Keep going!

[n3m3sis43]

Thanks so much. For some reason, I had it in my head that it was okay to write a first draft out of order but not a second one. I really appreciate all your feedback. :D

[bleodswean]

Well.....it depends on if that's the start of your novel...or if this scene is slotted in later, right? I think it actually can and does work without the first paragraph. You can, obviously, insert the "fact" of the storm into any of the first few dialogue paragraphs.

[n3m3sis43]

At the moment, it's the start of the novel. Which I guess I should have pointed out, because I realize the reader isn't going to be entirely sure what is going on (which is by design), but I want to be in the want-to-know-more sense and not the what-the-hell-is-this?! sense.