(no subject)
imposter syndrome is the realest thing ever.
i feel paralysed and like i can't do any job-hunting because (i feel like) i'm not qualified to do anything.
i think this year is the first time in my life when i've thought on more than one occasion, "I wish I was old so that my life was over and I didn't have to worry about finding a job and doing things".
like, I've looked at my retired, 60-something year old parents and thought, "wow, they're so lucky their lives are over and they don't have to worry about achieving anything anymore or clearing and more life stages."
which is such a stupid thing to think, because i'm pretty sure they don't feel like that. but like, they're old, so they have nothing left to prove, they dgaf and aren't seeking anyone's approval. that sounds so great.
so yeah, sometimes i wish i was old, so i could just not gaf, but on the other hand, in other ways i AM getting old, so that soon all the perks of being young will have passed me by and i'll have to settle into middle age having no relationships, no job, etc.
i feel paralysed and like i can't do any job-hunting because (i feel like) i'm not qualified to do anything.
i think this year is the first time in my life when i've thought on more than one occasion, "I wish I was old so that my life was over and I didn't have to worry about finding a job and doing things".
like, I've looked at my retired, 60-something year old parents and thought, "wow, they're so lucky their lives are over and they don't have to worry about achieving anything anymore or clearing and more life stages."
which is such a stupid thing to think, because i'm pretty sure they don't feel like that. but like, they're old, so they have nothing left to prove, they dgaf and aren't seeking anyone's approval. that sounds so great.
so yeah, sometimes i wish i was old, so i could just not gaf, but on the other hand, in other ways i AM getting old, so that soon all the perks of being young will have passed me by and i'll have to settle into middle age having no relationships, no job, etc.