(no subject)

[therealdeal30]

hmmm lately havent been to happy. i want someone i cant have cuz she wont gve me the time of day. and i want another girl but she had a bf while she was talking to me. im gonna quit drinking too. i dont like being sad. i usually have soooo much fun but lately not much.i want to call katie too. havent talked to her since canoeing. hockey is always getting cancelled too. makes me feel like last ice season all over. its just sad that its turned to this in hockey. i want to be 10 again and wish i woulda talked my parents into puttin me into ice earlier cuz i would be at the top instead of where im at because i have less experience not less talent then the others. not to sound cocky but im better than any goalie that i have ever seen at the elite levels in my age. it depresses me. i know i could be there with the best right now but i was held back and now i have to play with the shitty people. it depresses me when i think im going to be stuck in the beer leagues playing with the washed up people for the rest of my life and watch my talent drop because there is no challenge. life just sucks. and im unmotivated to workout like before. i cant do those 400 pushups after workouts again. im going soft. im only doing 100 my mental toughness is a joke. ive turned into this soft little bitch

i wish i had someone to make me happy and spend my time with like mattie does. it makes me sad when i see it cuz im so lonely

stay sexy

chris