lone star lodge
what a weekend. mike and i went up to oregon to visit some friends. well, actually, there was 9 of us - all friends from cal poly, 2 of which currently live in oregon. they organized it where we rented a cabin and had 2.5 full days of relaxing, skiing, and catching back up on life and living. it was fucking awesome, for a bunch of reasons that i didn't expect.
1. i've given up snowboarding and gone back to skiing. its just so much less painful on my body, and while i am completely and totally out of shape and had to stop every few minutes on the first few runs, i had a blast doing a snow sport for the first time in a long while. the part that i didn't expect, but that i'm super happy about is the fabulous skiing experience has motivated me to get my fat ass back into shape. i have really ignored doing this for so long for so many reasons, and i'm lame for doing it. it feels fucking great to exercise hard, and i just need to prioritize it and do it, cause that's part of who i am.
2. two of the people at the cabin were people that i have had fallings out with at some point in our relationships, for different reasons. in both cases, apologies have been made. in one case, the moving on and getting close again had already started. in another, not so much. at least not on my end. it was both surprising and very pleasant to spend time with him again and have it be fun and not bittersweet. it reminds me of why these people were my good friends at school. sadly, it also reminds me how it is a bummer that the closest set of them live in san carlos and monterey. but, not sadly, this time around i felt ok that we don't see each other all the time, i didn't feel guilty that i should be doing more to see them more often. instead, i just went with it and really enjoyed everyone's company throughout the entire weekend. no guilt, no strings attached. it was quite nice.
3. we're all getting old, but i'm fucking glad. less drama. less overpartying, in fact none of this. much more cooperation. less cliques. less selfishness. talk of families and kids in the years to come. i know that i've been struggling over the past 2 years or so with my place in life - i'm not into the things i did before - so what am i into now? and it was very reassuring and validating to reconnect with those who i did those things with before and see that we've all moved on, we've all chosen our things to do now, and yet we are all the same people and can all still come back together. i don't know that i've ever answered the question - what am i into now? - but i think that the answer matters less and less as i just find those things and do them without over analyzing them.
all in all, i found it to be a really energizing and renewing weekend. i had more fun in a 3 day weekend, was more able to forget about everything else in such a short amount of time, than i have in a while. i do think that the house buying and the moving, and now the remodeling before we unpack, have all gotten the stress/worry level up to a new level. i just hope that i'm capable of bringing this renewed energy into my life in a productive way for longer than 2 or 3 days.
1. i've given up snowboarding and gone back to skiing. its just so much less painful on my body, and while i am completely and totally out of shape and had to stop every few minutes on the first few runs, i had a blast doing a snow sport for the first time in a long while. the part that i didn't expect, but that i'm super happy about is the fabulous skiing experience has motivated me to get my fat ass back into shape. i have really ignored doing this for so long for so many reasons, and i'm lame for doing it. it feels fucking great to exercise hard, and i just need to prioritize it and do it, cause that's part of who i am.
2. two of the people at the cabin were people that i have had fallings out with at some point in our relationships, for different reasons. in both cases, apologies have been made. in one case, the moving on and getting close again had already started. in another, not so much. at least not on my end. it was both surprising and very pleasant to spend time with him again and have it be fun and not bittersweet. it reminds me of why these people were my good friends at school. sadly, it also reminds me how it is a bummer that the closest set of them live in san carlos and monterey. but, not sadly, this time around i felt ok that we don't see each other all the time, i didn't feel guilty that i should be doing more to see them more often. instead, i just went with it and really enjoyed everyone's company throughout the entire weekend. no guilt, no strings attached. it was quite nice.
3. we're all getting old, but i'm fucking glad. less drama. less overpartying, in fact none of this. much more cooperation. less cliques. less selfishness. talk of families and kids in the years to come. i know that i've been struggling over the past 2 years or so with my place in life - i'm not into the things i did before - so what am i into now? and it was very reassuring and validating to reconnect with those who i did those things with before and see that we've all moved on, we've all chosen our things to do now, and yet we are all the same people and can all still come back together. i don't know that i've ever answered the question - what am i into now? - but i think that the answer matters less and less as i just find those things and do them without over analyzing them.
all in all, i found it to be a really energizing and renewing weekend. i had more fun in a 3 day weekend, was more able to forget about everything else in such a short amount of time, than i have in a while. i do think that the house buying and the moving, and now the remodeling before we unpack, have all gotten the stress/worry level up to a new level. i just hope that i'm capable of bringing this renewed energy into my life in a productive way for longer than 2 or 3 days.