Confessions of a suicidal girl.... desperately seeking help.
There is no reason for me to feel this way.
But... I need help.
Because I realize that I... am only alive because of you. I can't do it to all of you.
If I didn't have you all......
Why not?
Because I'm not a coward. I'm not selfish. I can't run away.... but from what? What am I not facing? I have absolutely no reason to feel this way.
But I am not selfish. I can't do that to my family.
So.... I am alive for my family and friends.
I thought that I was depressed for the longest time because of the catastrophe that is Jasmine and Michelle. I thought it was because I ruined a good relationship with Jonathan. I thought because I had a falling out with a brother.
But in truth, I got over them two a long time ago. It really doesn't bother me, but for a long time I thought I was lying to myself because I had this pain, this sadness that I took as guilt.
It has nothing to do with them. It is something more. And I have no idea what it is.
I am just SICK and TIRED of covering it up with a smile and a laugh. I am just SICK and TIRED of feeling this way.
It's not up and down anymore. It's a monotone of sadness, with brief peaks....
Please.... I am tired of waiting for this to go away.
"Truth is worth a thousand tears."
So here I am finally opening up in the only way I know how. I could never put this into words.....
But... I need help.
Because I realize that I... am only alive because of you. I can't do it to all of you.
If I didn't have you all......
Why not?
Because I'm not a coward. I'm not selfish. I can't run away.... but from what? What am I not facing? I have absolutely no reason to feel this way.
But I am not selfish. I can't do that to my family.
So.... I am alive for my family and friends.
I thought that I was depressed for the longest time because of the catastrophe that is Jasmine and Michelle. I thought it was because I ruined a good relationship with Jonathan. I thought because I had a falling out with a brother.
But in truth, I got over them two a long time ago. It really doesn't bother me, but for a long time I thought I was lying to myself because I had this pain, this sadness that I took as guilt.
It has nothing to do with them. It is something more. And I have no idea what it is.
I am just SICK and TIRED of covering it up with a smile and a laugh. I am just SICK and TIRED of feeling this way.
It's not up and down anymore. It's a monotone of sadness, with brief peaks....
Please.... I am tired of waiting for this to go away.
"Truth is worth a thousand tears."
So here I am finally opening up in the only way I know how. I could never put this into words.....