(no subject)
1)so my costume woes have somewhat been sorted!
Sometimes I wonder how my parents manage to put up with me. They're amazing.
2) Went to the glen to do some shopping for next week as well as to develop some photos. This mornign while I was combing my files looking for photos to print I realised how far we've come and how much we've done over the past two years and how they've gone by so quickly. Day by day they seem pretty normal and all and they pass too quickly for my liking, but a short review like today's reminded me that in fact we have shared sosososooso many laughs and awkward moments (Lynn: your cue: That's my toenail! : D) and bouts of stress and weird photos and.. random violence. We've been so many places, survived so many SACs and swine flu and so much weird weather and all the other randoms that have come and gone with the past two years. I think at some point, I felt like crying. I'll do my proper thankyous once I get a bit more organized, but in the meantime, let's enjoy the next two days. :)
3)Last night we were watching Japan Hour and I was talking about going to Japan (since no one can stop me now muahahah) and mom suddenly asked about Y. 'How's he doing' or some vague question like that. I told her I had absolutely no idea, since that is the truth. A little abashedly, I added that I'd emailed recently to ask about Japan in winter etc and that he'd very politely not replied. I'm not eager to jump to conclusions as to why he hadn't, so I'm trying not to get pissed or impatient...(And I swear I'm not being desperate! It is just very annoying how difficult it is to be normal friends. Gah.) Anyway. Mom was pretty straight out with her reaction. 'Why do you even care? Stay away from people who can't even be bothered with something simple like that.' Or something along those lines.
I guess she's right. Why am I still trying to play miss-nice-and-hopeful, to romanticize about sheer apathy, to keep trying to see people as better than they might actually be? I'm going to get my face stepped all over, again and again and again.
But I have always had my romantic little ideals, that in a fair world keeping faith even in simple trivialities like this will eventually bear fruit. Maybe not in result, but at least in reason. Yet even with this Y business, he's made these silly little promises that he obviously hasn't kept, and I'm still consciously or not trying to believe things he's probably long forgotten, believe that it's only a matter of time... What a magnificent idiot I am!
Anyway. I'm grateful the Y business was never a secret with mom. She's been very supportive and sometimes very point-blank with her opinions and advice and I really need that, especially when I need to snap out of it.
I think it's a woman thing, though. Things get VERY awkward when conversations with dad/bro even approach such a topic...
Woah.. what a terrible, jumpy post. If I haven't done so already, I blame any incoherency on the upcoming Exams.