The Art of Writing a Sex Scene, Part 1
Thanks to elliotsmelliot for encouraging me to write this and post it here.
Warning: Includes frank discussion of sex and porn and lots of naughty words. Look on it as NC-17-rated meta.
Disclaimer: This essay is entirely subjective. I’m not trying to tell anyone how they ought to write, I’m just offering my own opinions based on my own experiences.
( Sex Writing in 3 Easy Steps! Ha! Not. )
Warning: Includes frank discussion of sex and porn and lots of naughty words. Look on it as NC-17-rated meta.
Disclaimer: This essay is entirely subjective. I’m not trying to tell anyone how they ought to write, I’m just offering my own opinions based on my own experiences.
( Sex Writing in 3 Easy Steps! Ha! Not. )
1. I think my biggest challenge when it comes to writing sex is the anatomy issue that you covered. For me, there is just nothing so lacking in grace or subtlty than a big erect penis. I agree that you should call a cock a cock and it sounds silly if you tiptoe around these words with metaphors. But I find none of those words we have for male/female genitalia are delicate on the eyes/ears. They're either too biology class or too X-rated porn. I don't mind Smut, but since I only write sex as facet of Gen stories, sometimes I find smutty vocab doesn't mix well with my Gen tone.
2. The sex I write tends to be implicit rather than explict. I rarely give sex a scene of it's own; it's usually baked in with a larger narrative. I aim to write sex in a sensual way; in a way that is more shivery than hot (if that makes any sense!) I tend to savour the foreplay more so than the act itself. Embarrassing to admit it, but I'm not very good at climaxing my sex scenes! Yes, I get the writers equivilant of Mr Floppy. Often in my Gen writing I'll skip from the seduction to the after-glow and just trust my readers to fill in the gap. Maybe I need to get over this?
3. Personally, I only have sex in my stories when the narrative requires it. I've never written smut for smuts sake, though I have read plenty of PWP. I think if a writer has a passion and vocation for writing sex, then smut for smuts sake is a great outlet for their frisky muses. I prefer the backing of a good plot and characterisation to enrich the sex scene (and I think this is essential for longer porny fics), but if your PWP is only a quickie then carry on!
5. I think the Sawyer/Kate cage sex scene is a great example of the sort of sex that squicks me. I hate in-your-face melodramatic sex scenes. I hate big sweeping broad strokes of movement, smooching, grabbing and thrusting. I don't care for the sexualisation of idolised male bodies (tall, muscular, powerful) or idolised female bodies (slender, soft, beautiful). Which is another big gripe I have with Lost, i.e., only characters with steretypical good looks may have sex on screen. I don't like sex that is all bombastic spectactle with no realistic tenderness.
6. I'm more turned on by sex that is sensual and vulnerable. Taking your clothes off and being intimate with someone is a vulnerable experience. I love sex scenes that focus on the personal details and imperfections of someones body. I remember getting turned on by a sex scene where a guy (or was it a girl?) traces a finger over the red lines that demim jeans have left on their girlfriends stomach. I like sex which is sensitive and explorative and filled with unusual exquisite details like that.
7. I've been in a heterosexual relationship for a long time and I'm happy in that relationship, but when it comes to idle fantasies I like to read about the sex I'm not having! Mostly gay sex, lesbian sex and all types of S&M. Depictions of sane and consensual S&M relationships (of any orientation) is a real bullproof kink for me. Throw a little bondage and pleasure/pain into your smut fics and I'm yours. Toes more recent Desmond/Charlie fics spring to mind here. My other major kink (which sadly you don't see much of in Lost fic) is cross-dressing. Drives me wild. Makes me fetishy. MmmMmm.
Will you tell us your bulletproof kinks now, zelda? *wiggles eyebrow*
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( psst ... Remember that whole 'Chelsea Hotel' plot bunny I had a while back? Well ... Charlie and Dan weren't the only things on that unmade bed. There was a goodly amount of women's lingerie lying around too. ; ) )
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Bless you for that comment, falafel! I don't feel like such a perv anymore! LOL And if you're willing to wait just a bit for my muse to come out of hiding, I've got a demanding Miles and a submissive Daniel and a pair of white silk panties in the queue. Ahem.
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No, it most certainly isn't, unfortunately. And I doubt we'd even have the nail polish to cling to if Dom hadn't been in the habit of wearing it himself. It doesn't strike me as something Darlton would've come up with on their own. *sighs*
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2. Well, there are so many ways to write a sex scene. With the kinds of sex scenes I commonly write it wouldn't work to skip the climax, but maybe it does in a less explicit scene. Oddly, I think writing orgasms is one of the easiest things to do without using explicit vocabulary because they lend themselves so well to metaphor and to descriptions of intimacy, affection and desire on the part of the characters, especially the one providing the orgasm to the other. So I think there'd be ways to approach including that in a less explicit sex scene if at some point you're writing a story and you want to take it there, by focusing on sensation and emotion rather than on bodies and physical reactions. Not that I've done it that way. I'm just hypothesizing.
3. I love the term 'frisky muses'! :D
5. Interesting answer. I do see your point, though I don't really share it. I'm all for seeing Sawyer having sex. Or preferably Sayid. Or preferably both of them. Together. Yes. Please. Because I am shallow, I've never claimed not to be. But on a non-shallow level, I agree that the kind of sex one sees on Lost - or on most other shows - is not realistic or compelling. Thank goodness we have fic to provide what's lacking.
6. Mmm, that kind of vulnerability is indeed quite hot.
I like sex which is sensitive and explorative and filled with unusual exquisite details like that.
Interesting! I'm not sure I do that in my own writing, focus on unusual details or imperfections. I might try to keep that in mind and explore it a bit in the future.
7. Well, my bulletproof kinks are a lot like yours. They mostly fit under the umbrella of 'emo kink'. Like you, I like depictions of kinky relationships where there's understanding and affection between the characters - if that's the case I can go really hardcore with BDSM fic. There's nothing I love more than emo kink - although conversely, kink that is only about the sex is not even interesting to me and I usually don't bother reading it. Um, the nitty-gritty? D/s, bondage, toys, humiliation, orgasm denial, spanking, rimming... X-dressing, totally! Is there any Lost x-dressing fic (other than the one I wrote)? I would love to read it, if so! Also, I share fosfomifira's opinion that a guy fingering himself open while his partner watches is one of the hottest things ever.
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Well, I used the 'cage sex' moment because it's the sort of sex scene I dislike, not specifically cos of who is in it. I just don't like sex that's too body conscious or melodramatic. It leaves me emotional flat.
Is there any Lost x-dressing fic (other than the one I wrote)? I would love to read it, if so!
Aww, your Rocky Horror fic. I know that toes wrote a crossdressing Charlie/Sawyer fic once but you'd have to ask her for the link. Dressing up as pirates is fun too!
*blushes* What is FTB?
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Lol, I forgot about that one! So I've written two, both S/Sd.
Fade-to-black! ;)
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Once again, I've obviously managed to miss out on something amazing of yours ... toss a link out to this pathetically late-to-the-party child, please?!
And, not finished, not yet, but one section of my whole '7 Things Jeremy Davies Captures With His Videocam That Should Really Be Left To The Imagination' (obviously, this is only the working title ... hopefully the real one will make a bit more sense LOL) deals with Josh Holloway, a wardrobe malfunction, and the Alannah Myles song 'Black Velvet'. So ... yeah. ; )
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The Gift This is a standalone fic but part of my Russell Square AU that grew out of a fic I wrote a long time ago called The Exchange. So the AU-ness of it might be off-putting, not sure.
It's Not Easy Having a Good Time Sigh. This was going to be a series but I only ever wrote the first part. Yes, I suck.
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