(no subject)
I'm feeling a little better since posting everything I was feel. I'm ok during the day now, but its at night like right now, when it gets bad for me! When all I have is my thoughts and can't stop but think of whatss going on! And times like this are when I look back on MISTAKES I have made in the past 2 years with the relationship with the guys I have dated or like and some how fucked up my chance with that person at that time! Right now I have some one on my mind who I gues I have never really gotten over.(NO NOT JAKE SO GET THAT THOUGHT OUT OF YOUR HEAD NOW EWWWWWWWW!!!!) I just think if the reason we had gotten together had been different (my reason to get over someone else and to make that person jelous, and his to get back at someone else) if things would have been different. And if New Years Eve never happened, but thats besieds my main point right now! I know my best friend has figured the perosn out by this sentence!!!! SHHHHHHH I know what your think, come on Amber he was just using you, but I had had the hugest cruch on him for like 3 years before then. I'm so lost right now! Like I know everythings going to get better and everything but there is still that thought of "OH Shit What If It Doesn't???" I know I'm a storng perosn and I will get thourgh this. My shrinks have told me this for years! But Doom is one of the hardest things for people to get out of their head onece its in there! Its 12:34am on a Friday-Saturday night/morning and I'm at home with no life! I can't wait till me and mom have a new place because I will never be home hopefully! Living in Vero will make it easier to hang with Susan and Danny Boy (lol I don't think he will like it to much what do you think??? LOL) (hehehehehe)A.Smith called and I didn't answer it ( I was sleeping) and asked if I wanted to go the the Zoom show Sunday with her( what do you think Susan are we going????? :) I want to go I want to see Hearts Over Rome!!!!!!!!!!! Heck yes Heck yes!
My Mom starts her new job Monday, Vatland Honda, she gets a discount on new cars! Heck Yes maybe for my big 18 I'll get a new car! ( A girl can wish can't she!!!!) The only problem with that is that I have to go to the Boys & Girls Club till I find a paying Job! So if any of you really love me you will come save me sometime! it would be deeply thought of upon the one who saves me and you might get a prize (OK GET THAT DAMN DIRTY THOUGHT OUT OF YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!) LOL!!!!! I looked at cloths for school today, saw some stuff I like!
Wow I really need somthing to do right now! This just came to me!!! What do you think????
"So Lost and So Broken,
She Watches Her Life Pass Her By,
So Lost and So Broken,
You Watch As She Slowly Dies,
So Lost and So Broken,
Why Are You Just Standing There,
So Lost and So Broken,
Go To Her And Tell Her You Love Her,
So Lost and So Broken,
Before Your Chance Is Gone!"
Just off the top of my little head (of which my hair id growing out blonde, it hasn't been like natutral blonde since I was five! Five what the hell is going on with my hair!) I like it its how I am feeling right now, I wish my perfect match where ever and who ever he may be would just came and find me and tell me he would die without me! (Here I go day dreaming again, Well night/day dreaming that is!) I need to stop tying but I just have to urge to make up for just starting to update more! I 'm sorry for those of you who sitll read my journal, MYSPACE.COM is just that great, if you don't have one you should get one! Then tell me! I have typed a hell of alot, this is for James W. I will update more! I promise!!!!!!!
Love The Broken and Forgotten
Amber
P.S. Why oh Why do I spill my guts and feeling to the world wide net???