The most important thing I ever learned.
Peanutbutter banana and raspberry tea. Trying to calm my nerves. PMS is doing little to help my fragile mental state but I will prevail.
We went to see Shirlock Holmes at Cinemagic Yesterday. The Consensus was that it was a decent film. Guy Ritchie, who directed it, apparently has a thing for dogs, pigs and drunken shirtless fights, and somehow makes it all apealing. It was the first day we spent together in probably 6 months without incident. It wasn't perfect but it was so relieving. The burden of my hidden guilt had been eating my alive for so long. My painted on smile even had me fooled, but deep down I always knew. I had been mistreating him for so long that I'd actually convinced myself that he deserved it. I thought it was easier that way. If he didn't like me and I didn't like him then what's to loose? Only what I didn't realize was what I WAS loosing was far greater. Being nice to him felt beautiful. Even though it meant I had to face myself. All the horrible sickness inside me couldn't marr the loveliness of treating someone with love and respect who truly deserves it.
Loosing kitty hurt so much. It was the worst thing I have ever experinced but it was beautiful still because I loved her so much. Absolutly nothing could touch her beauty. I wouldn't give up a second with her to ease the pain. That's the way it should be. ALWAYS.
I am so ashamed that it took me so long to learn that lesson. I am so greatful that I finally have.
We went to see Shirlock Holmes at Cinemagic Yesterday. The Consensus was that it was a decent film. Guy Ritchie, who directed it, apparently has a thing for dogs, pigs and drunken shirtless fights, and somehow makes it all apealing. It was the first day we spent together in probably 6 months without incident. It wasn't perfect but it was so relieving. The burden of my hidden guilt had been eating my alive for so long. My painted on smile even had me fooled, but deep down I always knew. I had been mistreating him for so long that I'd actually convinced myself that he deserved it. I thought it was easier that way. If he didn't like me and I didn't like him then what's to loose? Only what I didn't realize was what I WAS loosing was far greater. Being nice to him felt beautiful. Even though it meant I had to face myself. All the horrible sickness inside me couldn't marr the loveliness of treating someone with love and respect who truly deserves it.
Loosing kitty hurt so much. It was the worst thing I have ever experinced but it was beautiful still because I loved her so much. Absolutly nothing could touch her beauty. I wouldn't give up a second with her to ease the pain. That's the way it should be. ALWAYS.
I am so ashamed that it took me so long to learn that lesson. I am so greatful that I finally have.