like you've been victimised.
In chronological order, least to most recent (maybe):
1. Had Intense And Important Discussion with the bf about play. Nutshell: I have issues with trusting myself and can't let go, and that's not fun for either of us. I blubbered and crap. Talked to Brandi at Rascal's (after she had been the pincushion end of a needleplay demo--she was so stoned on endorphins, I kept losing her in the middle of the conversation; good times--excellent demo, though; it's so telling that hardly anyone sticks around for the cleaning up and aftercare part of demos, eh?) about a few things. I just keep forgetting that I'm safe. I keep second-guessing my conviction that it is okay to get lost in the hurt. Really, I'm scared that I won't be found again.
Okay, that's a pretty big nutshell. Pretend I'm doing an Austin Powers-in-a-nutshell impression. Or, insert a Sports Night reference. Whatever milks your cow.
2. Brandi e-mailed me on Sunday and was all--omg I woke up this morning and felt so hung over! Ridiculous! She is cute.
3. Was supposed to see Goblet of Fire with my fine fellow members of lmhpc on Sunday night, but logistics is hard. So we will probably go this coming weekend. I saw it on Sunday afternoon with my brother anyway (I still love you, guys! I just promised the nosewipe I'd take him on Sunday. As of yet I have not many thoughts. I still haven't read everybody else's posts about it.
4. The bf and I are all right now. After Rascal's we got McDonald's and fooled around like whoa. Or something that doesn't sound quite so much like what all the annoying people with whom I went to high school used to do on Saturday nights. Still do, for all I know. It is Langley, after all.
5. At Rascal's there was this guy dressed as a flapper. No, wait. It was really really bad drag. But in a cute way, right, and man could he wear a pair of heels. Crikey. Brandi and I were both so jealous. Except I reject heels and all their works. They are cute on boys, though.
6. And there was this couple in, like, faux-Western. One person had female parts, and was in drag, all gentleman-on-a-train, with a cane and a cravat and a pocketwatch and wingtips and everything, and the other person I think was ftm, and had the full muttonchops-to-mustache thing going. It was so cool. Made me want to write Firefly kinkfic. Or read some. It has to be good, though, because I cannot stand bad kink in fic anymore. No, I break out. It's not pretty.
7. There were a couple of ftms there, actually. I think. I am no judge, really. I think everybody is some version of deviant. Especially when they say they're not. Which says something about me, I guess. That I'm nosy and creepy, for starters.
8. We're going to the Conference of Kink on December 3. It's the second and third of the month, really, but we both have to work on the Friday night. I'm going to the knot workshop on Saturday, and the one on "making it last," even though it's blatantly geared towards actively topping people (soon! Soon I will be one of them. Hopefully), mostly because I've already seen the SM 101 presentation twice. I looked at Elaine Miller's workshop, and I might go. Because I love her. She's awesome. Even though I don't exactly know how I feel about "interrogations, take-downs, and brats."
9. And then BIO and Rascal's join forces for The Most Feared Dungeon Space In All The Land! No, seriously. Twenty-five play stations on the open floor alone. Like, for perspective, Rascal's has seven on the floor and two or three in the private space (depending on who's already doing what up there). I think BIO has about the same, depending on what building they're in. I've only been there once, so. Anyway, we're going to that too. Hopefully we'll be playing a little.
10. There was a girl from a Gonzaga University (or College, whatever) on Jeopardy! the other night, and I just thought: wow. What a freaking wacky place that must be. And apparently there is a package handler here named Gonzaga. Cool.
12. Even though it is not her birthday anymore, technically. Maybe in Hawai'i. In any case. Happy Birthday, wizened_cynic! You rock my small, self-centered world! If I could, I would steal you that bus ad and deliver it to you myself, naked, for your special day. Or, something less creepifying and naked.
13. Yeah. Um. I'll try to update more often, so you don't get smacked in the face like this. Sorry.
eta: Yet more evidence that I really really need a Harry Potter/kink icon. Stupid Newell taking out the bondage in the graveyard. Gr!
Bye.
1. Had Intense And Important Discussion with the bf about play. Nutshell: I have issues with trusting myself and can't let go, and that's not fun for either of us. I blubbered and crap. Talked to Brandi at Rascal's (after she had been the pincushion end of a needleplay demo--she was so stoned on endorphins, I kept losing her in the middle of the conversation; good times--excellent demo, though; it's so telling that hardly anyone sticks around for the cleaning up and aftercare part of demos, eh?) about a few things. I just keep forgetting that I'm safe. I keep second-guessing my conviction that it is okay to get lost in the hurt. Really, I'm scared that I won't be found again.
Okay, that's a pretty big nutshell. Pretend I'm doing an Austin Powers-in-a-nutshell impression. Or, insert a Sports Night reference. Whatever milks your cow.
2. Brandi e-mailed me on Sunday and was all--omg I woke up this morning and felt so hung over! Ridiculous! She is cute.
3. Was supposed to see Goblet of Fire with my fine fellow members of lmhpc on Sunday night, but logistics is hard. So we will probably go this coming weekend. I saw it on Sunday afternoon with my brother anyway (I still love you, guys! I just promised the nosewipe I'd take him on Sunday. As of yet I have not many thoughts. I still haven't read everybody else's posts about it.
4. The bf and I are all right now. After Rascal's we got McDonald's and fooled around like whoa. Or something that doesn't sound quite so much like what all the annoying people with whom I went to high school used to do on Saturday nights. Still do, for all I know. It is Langley, after all.
5. At Rascal's there was this guy dressed as a flapper. No, wait. It was really really bad drag. But in a cute way, right, and man could he wear a pair of heels. Crikey. Brandi and I were both so jealous. Except I reject heels and all their works. They are cute on boys, though.
6. And there was this couple in, like, faux-Western. One person had female parts, and was in drag, all gentleman-on-a-train, with a cane and a cravat and a pocketwatch and wingtips and everything, and the other person I think was ftm, and had the full muttonchops-to-mustache thing going. It was so cool. Made me want to write Firefly kinkfic. Or read some. It has to be good, though, because I cannot stand bad kink in fic anymore. No, I break out. It's not pretty.
7. There were a couple of ftms there, actually. I think. I am no judge, really. I think everybody is some version of deviant. Especially when they say they're not. Which says something about me, I guess. That I'm nosy and creepy, for starters.
8. We're going to the Conference of Kink on December 3. It's the second and third of the month, really, but we both have to work on the Friday night. I'm going to the knot workshop on Saturday, and the one on "making it last," even though it's blatantly geared towards actively topping people (soon! Soon I will be one of them. Hopefully), mostly because I've already seen the SM 101 presentation twice. I looked at Elaine Miller's workshop, and I might go. Because I love her. She's awesome. Even though I don't exactly know how I feel about "interrogations, take-downs, and brats."
9. And then BIO and Rascal's join forces for The Most Feared Dungeon Space In All The Land! No, seriously. Twenty-five play stations on the open floor alone. Like, for perspective, Rascal's has seven on the floor and two or three in the private space (depending on who's already doing what up there). I think BIO has about the same, depending on what building they're in. I've only been there once, so. Anyway, we're going to that too. Hopefully we'll be playing a little.
10. There was a girl from a Gonzaga University (or College, whatever) on Jeopardy! the other night, and I just thought: wow. What a freaking wacky place that must be. And apparently there is a package handler here named Gonzaga. Cool.
12. Even though it is not her birthday anymore, technically. Maybe in Hawai'i. In any case. Happy Birthday, wizened_cynic! You rock my small, self-centered world! If I could, I would steal you that bus ad and deliver it to you myself, naked, for your special day. Or, something less creepifying and naked.
13. Yeah. Um. I'll try to update more often, so you don't get smacked in the face like this. Sorry.
eta: Yet more evidence that I really really need a Harry Potter/kink icon. Stupid Newell taking out the bondage in the graveyard. Gr!
Bye.