i'll drink more than a sailor i'm sure
I keep having dreams about my exboyfriend. Which is weird, because I never really have dreams about people I know. I have really been fixating on the thought of him lately...where is he? How is he? Who has he become? Does he ever wonder about me too? Would he care? Sometimes it drives me nuts. Especially considering we broke up...in like, 2006 and I haven't talked to him since 2007. I wouldn't know how. I'm terrified of him, but I'm so filled with regret over the whole thing that I would give anything just to get coffee with the guy or something. I think about him more than I think he would even guess. Everything still reminds me of him. (And that makes me feel like, a creepy stalker type!!)
Is that normal? Maybe when you go through a breakup you think more about these things. I think I have a tendency to idealize the past...I remember how much I loved him and I get mad that I broke up with him. But I guess the key is that I broke up with him. Something wasn't as picture perfect as I remember. And then I get mad that we couldn't have met each other now, when I was more mature about these things....
Enough about that. I go back to school tommorrow, and I am only taking three classes this semester...they are Evidence and Criminal Procedure, Law Enforcement Management and Administration, and Traffic Control and Administration. Yeah, I'm gonna be bored out of my gourd already, I just know it..!!
Work is going okay. I feel like I really just need a vacation from freaking cake. But at the same time I still want to go into some crazy ace-of-cakes shennanigans.
It occured to me the other day that while I might still be as fucked up as ever, I am a lot less depressed. Just living your life does wonders. :) Doesn't mean I'm happy with everything, but it'll do for now.
Now if only it would stay warm enough for me to go to the dunes again one last time before the end of summer...I'm so sad to see summer go, but I'm a little excited for the changing of the season and zomg pumpkins.
Is that normal? Maybe when you go through a breakup you think more about these things. I think I have a tendency to idealize the past...I remember how much I loved him and I get mad that I broke up with him. But I guess the key is that I broke up with him. Something wasn't as picture perfect as I remember. And then I get mad that we couldn't have met each other now, when I was more mature about these things....
Enough about that. I go back to school tommorrow, and I am only taking three classes this semester...they are Evidence and Criminal Procedure, Law Enforcement Management and Administration, and Traffic Control and Administration. Yeah, I'm gonna be bored out of my gourd already, I just know it..!!
Work is going okay. I feel like I really just need a vacation from freaking cake. But at the same time I still want to go into some crazy ace-of-cakes shennanigans.
It occured to me the other day that while I might still be as fucked up as ever, I am a lot less depressed. Just living your life does wonders. :) Doesn't mean I'm happy with everything, but it'll do for now.
Now if only it would stay warm enough for me to go to the dunes again one last time before the end of summer...I'm so sad to see summer go, but I'm a little excited for the changing of the season and zomg pumpkins.