"I am so fucked up... I am SO fucked up.. I am never going to be happy.. it's just not going to happen for me.." - Miranda, Sex and the City
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A different take......maybe?
anonymous
January 16 2009, 18:03:13 UTC
Don't get me wrong, when you have an overwhelming feeling that something isn't right, in most cases you should run with that. There are times however, when we fall into the old closet and we assume this "panic" mode because it's HABIT and we aren't sure what to do with "wonderful."
I don't agree at all with the friends bit. I have maybe one actual *friend* in my life and I am 32 years old. Sure, I have people I have known for 19+ years that might stop by every now and again, but it's an *out of sight out of mind* deal. I haven't found any people that I enjoy being around for great lengths of time, that like to do the same things I do, or that I can even relate to. That doesn't make me a bad person. It doesn't make me crazy either. AND..... if I met someone I enjoyed being with, chances are, I wouldn't introduce them to these folks I know for various reasons.
When you find someone you really enjoy being around, someone that "gets" you then yes, I DO think they can become your best friend and lover all rolled into one and relatively quickly. Love? I'm not sure. But I can say, when you're finally happy and you have that overwhelming sense of *WOW* and you've been lonely for so long, it can happen. There are millions of stories all over the world about how this happens. Trying to rationalize because it's never happened to you specifically in the past, doesn't mean that it can't happen at all. That's silly. You also said you talked to him for months prior to meeting. So the mental was there, just not the physical.
Okay, so he wasn't as successful as he lead people to believe. There is also such a thing as positive thinking. Perhaps he hyped this up because he has big hopes for himself and he truly wants to be successful and do something. Yeah, he's a bit older, but it's never too late to change. You see people in their 40's and 50's going to college right? If Universal buys his piece, that would give him encouragement to make more pieces and get better. No matter what his job is, at least he works!
Sigh, I don't know. Relationships take work. Unless the issues you have with each other are discussed and worked out or NOT worked out, they really shouldn't be included in the closing arguments. imo
Before you think I am defending him, I can say long distance is really crappy. I've found myself there on many occasions and have always justified it by saying "Separation makes the heart grow fonder." or "Well, at least we won't get sick of each other." In truth, it's more work than it should be.
The good news is that you discovered some things about yourself that you wouldn't have otherwise. I don't think you guys should be at odds with each other though.
Like Elisa though, I hope you do find your prince and I think you're awesome for sharing your stories with us.
I don't agree at all with the friends bit. I have maybe one actual *friend* in my life and I am 32 years old. Sure, I have people I have known for 19+ years that might stop by every now and again, but it's an *out of sight out of mind* deal. I haven't found any people that I enjoy being around for great lengths of time, that like to do the same things I do, or that I can even relate to. That doesn't make me a bad person. It doesn't make me crazy either. AND..... if I met someone I enjoyed being with, chances are, I wouldn't introduce them to these folks I know for various reasons.
When you find someone you really enjoy being around, someone that "gets" you then yes, I DO think they can become your best friend and lover all rolled into one and relatively quickly. Love? I'm not sure. But I can say, when you're finally happy and you have that overwhelming sense of *WOW* and you've been lonely for so long, it can happen. There are millions of stories all over the world about how this happens. Trying to rationalize because it's never happened to you specifically in the past, doesn't mean that it can't happen at all. That's silly. You also said you talked to him for months prior to meeting. So the mental was there, just not the physical.
Okay, so he wasn't as successful as he lead people to believe. There is also such a thing as positive thinking. Perhaps he hyped this up because he has big hopes for himself and he truly wants to be successful and do something. Yeah, he's a bit older, but it's never too late to change. You see people in their 40's and 50's going to college right? If Universal buys his piece, that would give him encouragement to make more pieces and get better. No matter what his job is, at least he works!
Sigh, I don't know. Relationships take work. Unless the issues you have with each other are discussed and worked out or NOT worked out, they really shouldn't be included in the closing arguments. imo
Before you think I am defending him, I can say long distance is really crappy. I've found myself there on many occasions and have always justified it by saying "Separation makes the heart grow fonder." or "Well, at least we won't get sick of each other." In truth, it's more work than it should be.
The good news is that you discovered some things about yourself that you wouldn't have otherwise. I don't think you guys should be at odds with each other though.
Like Elisa though, I hope you do find your prince and I think you're awesome for sharing your stories with us.
~H
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