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i am truly alone. the more i start to think about my network of the people i know, my world begins to shrink ever so. i don't understand what i'm doing wrong. why am i always conditional? this is incredibly hard. am i just someone that people don't like? it hurts. that the people i thought were friends are annoyed by me when i depend on them. isn't that what friends do and are for? i'm trying so hard to be happy. i really am. i wish it didn't matter that people didn't care about me. i've lost everything i hold dear... a home, parents... friends. so disconnected, isolated... i'm starting to think i don't exist anymore.