Busturducken, or: 'Roast Without Eagle.'
The other day I learned from Alton Brown that the word 'farce' comes from the Latin 'to stuff', and once referred to the old-timey practice of cooking to impress by stuffing different animals inside each other! Like, wrens stuffed inside lobsters, stuffed inside trout, stuffed inside ducks, stuffed inside warthogs! Well, I made that example up, but you get the idea. It came up last night at Thanksgiving dinner, and mostly all I remember about the conversation, beyond a lot of giggling, was the part where we figured out that a partridge stuffed inside a pheasant would be a phartridge. That's maturity for you.*
Today, my Mailman called to say that she had been impatiently waiting a whole twenty-four hours to tell me about, like, the most exciting thing ever: the French culinary marvel, Roast Without Equal!
"A bustard was stuffed with a turkey, stuffed with a goose, stuffed with a pheasant, stuffed with a chicken, stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a guinea fowl, stuffed with a teal, stuffed with a woodcock, stuffed with a partridge, stuffed with a plover, stuffed with a lapwing, stuffed with a quail, stuffed with a thrush, stuffed with a lark, stuffed with an Ortolan Bunting, stuffed with (finally) a garden warbler."**
A bustard! We have them at the zoo! It had never previously occurred to me to stuff *anything* inside a bustard!
A thrush! A plover! Can you imagine being the cook's assistant, and your boss is all, 'Get me a plover, or it will be your hide! Get me a lapwing, or Christmas is ruined!'
'I'm sorry, Chef, but I've been down the market and there were no garden warblers to be had.'
'NOT EVEN FOR READY MONEY?'
No, not even for ready money.
Then we got to talking about how Amazon has yearlong subscriptions to Real Simple available for $5 through the first of December, and somehow the conversation circled back around to our idea for a Farce of the Month Club. Like, one month would be Fish Farce, and another month would be Surf and Turf Farce, and another month would be Omelette Farce. (Hummingbird omelette wrapped inside robin omelette, wrapped inside blue jay omelette, wrapped inside grackle omelette, wrapped inside chicken omelette, wrapped inside emu omelette, wrapped inside ostrich omelette? Etc.?) And I don't think my Mailman is going to be satisfied now, until she has 200 different animals stuffed inside a blue whale.
*The theatrical sense of 'farce' comes from the brief, exaggerated comedies that were 'stuffed' between acts of religious dramas.
**You'll note that there is no eagle on the list, and I think the French may have missed out on an opportunity there. Of course, I only had the eagle idea because I mispronounced 'Roast Without Equal,' I was laughing so hard.
Today, my Mailman called to say that she had been impatiently waiting a whole twenty-four hours to tell me about, like, the most exciting thing ever: the French culinary marvel, Roast Without Equal!
"A bustard was stuffed with a turkey, stuffed with a goose, stuffed with a pheasant, stuffed with a chicken, stuffed with a duck, stuffed with a guinea fowl, stuffed with a teal, stuffed with a woodcock, stuffed with a partridge, stuffed with a plover, stuffed with a lapwing, stuffed with a quail, stuffed with a thrush, stuffed with a lark, stuffed with an Ortolan Bunting, stuffed with (finally) a garden warbler."**
A bustard! We have them at the zoo! It had never previously occurred to me to stuff *anything* inside a bustard!
A thrush! A plover! Can you imagine being the cook's assistant, and your boss is all, 'Get me a plover, or it will be your hide! Get me a lapwing, or Christmas is ruined!'
'I'm sorry, Chef, but I've been down the market and there were no garden warblers to be had.'
'NOT EVEN FOR READY MONEY?'
No, not even for ready money.
Then we got to talking about how Amazon has yearlong subscriptions to Real Simple available for $5 through the first of December, and somehow the conversation circled back around to our idea for a Farce of the Month Club. Like, one month would be Fish Farce, and another month would be Surf and Turf Farce, and another month would be Omelette Farce. (Hummingbird omelette wrapped inside robin omelette, wrapped inside blue jay omelette, wrapped inside grackle omelette, wrapped inside chicken omelette, wrapped inside emu omelette, wrapped inside ostrich omelette? Etc.?) And I don't think my Mailman is going to be satisfied now, until she has 200 different animals stuffed inside a blue whale.
*The theatrical sense of 'farce' comes from the brief, exaggerated comedies that were 'stuffed' between acts of religious dramas.
**You'll note that there is no eagle on the list, and I think the French may have missed out on an opportunity there. Of course, I only had the eagle idea because I mispronounced 'Roast Without Equal,' I was laughing so hard.