Make way for fracking ducklings!
I had an afternoon of many small adventures. I was feeling bummed, so I went out on the town. I tried on a saloon girl headband and a pair of Edna Mode glasses at Forever 21. Both, may I say, looked fantastic on me. I almost bought the saloon girl headband - for serious - because it was so completely fetching. (At least when worn on my head. In the bin, it looked rather frightening). A great big giant royal blue flower made from feathers and rhinestones, nestled in a spray of Muppet-like black ostrich tendrils and framed by two more black ostrich feathers, elaborately trimmed and curled. The latter two feathers stuck up about six or eight inches above the top of my head. I'm willing to admit: I went back to the mirror and admired my fine plumage several times.
And I was like, I wonder how long I'll have to keep this in a drawer before the Diamond Dog look becomes de rigeur? And now I also wonder how many other women are out there wandering around, completely unaware that their fetchingest look starts by jamming curly ostrich feathers in their hair? Flist: YOU WILL NOT KNOW UNTIL YOU TRY IT, TOO! MAKE THIS TREND HAPPEN! IF WE ALL DO IT, THAT COUNTS AS NORMAL. Right?
Later, I tried a new Jamba Juice, and it was *excellent.* The flavor was meant to be strawberries and lemonade, but the effect was something significantly more complex: sweetness and a wholly separate flavor that went right past tangy and landed on bitter. The sweet and the bitter combined was impossibly brisk and refreshing - like drinking a tall frosty glass of chilled grapefruit! Be warned, Strawberry Sumpinorother! I am coming back for you! (Meanwhile, I live in fear that the girl at the counter just made it wrong, and that the incredible bittersweet flavor can never be reproduced...! Ah, but such is the ephemeral nature of experience).
In conclusion, I saw a duck and her duckling crossing the road. I was coming back from feeding my friend's cat, and where the road narrows to only one lane in each direction, a duck walked out in front of my car with her one little baby in tow. (Just one baby! I wonder if there were any more?) There are mostly strip malls and gas stations on that side of the road; I was surprised to see these ducks so far from any body of water I'm aware of.
I slowed my car to a stop to let the ducks pass. Meanwhile, a fast silver car came up behind me. It didn't even slow down - just veered violently around my car and into the turning lane to pull out in front of me. It narrowly missed the ducks - but they were safe.
In the one lane of traffic going the opposite direction, a woman in an SUV saw me stopping and slowed her car to wait for the ducks to make it the rest of the way across. When the silver car swerved into the turning lane and almost hit the ducks, she decisively flipped the driver off. In this instance, I felt it was richly deserved.
.
And I was like, I wonder how long I'll have to keep this in a drawer before the Diamond Dog look becomes de rigeur? And now I also wonder how many other women are out there wandering around, completely unaware that their fetchingest look starts by jamming curly ostrich feathers in their hair? Flist: YOU WILL NOT KNOW UNTIL YOU TRY IT, TOO! MAKE THIS TREND HAPPEN! IF WE ALL DO IT, THAT COUNTS AS NORMAL. Right?
Later, I tried a new Jamba Juice, and it was *excellent.* The flavor was meant to be strawberries and lemonade, but the effect was something significantly more complex: sweetness and a wholly separate flavor that went right past tangy and landed on bitter. The sweet and the bitter combined was impossibly brisk and refreshing - like drinking a tall frosty glass of chilled grapefruit! Be warned, Strawberry Sumpinorother! I am coming back for you! (Meanwhile, I live in fear that the girl at the counter just made it wrong, and that the incredible bittersweet flavor can never be reproduced...! Ah, but such is the ephemeral nature of experience).
In conclusion, I saw a duck and her duckling crossing the road. I was coming back from feeding my friend's cat, and where the road narrows to only one lane in each direction, a duck walked out in front of my car with her one little baby in tow. (Just one baby! I wonder if there were any more?) There are mostly strip malls and gas stations on that side of the road; I was surprised to see these ducks so far from any body of water I'm aware of.
I slowed my car to a stop to let the ducks pass. Meanwhile, a fast silver car came up behind me. It didn't even slow down - just veered violently around my car and into the turning lane to pull out in front of me. It narrowly missed the ducks - but they were safe.
In the one lane of traffic going the opposite direction, a woman in an SUV saw me stopping and slowed her car to wait for the ducks to make it the rest of the way across. When the silver car swerved into the turning lane and almost hit the ducks, she decisively flipped the driver off. In this instance, I felt it was richly deserved.
.