Escapism
In the name of research for my essay (an excuse to procrastinate), i've been going down memory lane, from the Disney Princesses, I jumped ship to their Japanese counterparts (sort of) Rurouni Kenshin to Bleach to Prince of Tennis to Death Note to Ouran to Code Geass and Katekyoshi Reborn. And lots more (less significant ones) in between like Claymore, Higurashi and tons of Japanese/Korean dramas. The list is seemingly endless and I keep finding bits and pieces of my identity through them. They say one is most vulnerable to judgements when you share something close to your heart and it's true. I mean I can't remember the amount of time and effort I spend trying to convince my friends that my fandom is worth a second look. The heated debates and the countless "Trust me" that I've used on strangers to get completely rebuffed D; Does that make my fandom any less valuable? Can we even compare fandoms? Complications come in with genres. All it does is make me question my taste.
So I've been looking up all the things I used to love and want to lovei In hope that I will find the reason behind why I go fangirly. However, as usual, somewhere along the way, I lost track of my purpose and went completely off tangent. I blame short attention span D; So here I am again with bad excuses of fangirling aka fanfiction and real pple slash that I owe _sabriel ;D
Tezuka was a poster child for caution. He did not condone carelessness in any form, even if it was to his advantage.
"You gave me extra change," he said, counting out the extra 45 cents the cashier gave him by accident. It was against his moral code to take what did not belong to him but before he could return it, the impatient line behind him jostled and pushed him out of the queue. Losing his balance he banged straight into a smaller body, knocking his glasses askew.
One moment, Sabriel was fighting to get into the supermart to get the Premium Sushi Bento that always sold out before the lunch hour was over and the next moment she was sitting ungracefully on the floor, accompanied by a mixture of coins and assorted fruits. And was that her glasses, twisted in some weird figure of eight, broken on the floor?
"Are you alright?" The voice was gentle but flustered. Sabriel narrowed her eyes, trying to make out the blurry shape of the person before her who was desperately trying to make sure all the oranges did not roll out of the store.
"Considering the fact that I cannot see if I look alright, why don't you tell me?" She snapped back, feeling for her glasses. Oh great, there goes my Premium Sushi Bento, Sabriel sighed, fingering her mangled glasses in her hands.
Tezuka took it upon himself to help the girl up. "I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to..." He started and trailed off at her longing look directed at... Sushi?
"Premium Sushi Bento."
"Excuse me?"
"You were careless. So now you owe me lunch," Sabriel let a small sly smile grace her lips as she started to imagine all the expensive sushi restaurants to demand as compensation. It was then she remembered. "Oh! Plus new glasses."
And as certain as the sun rose from the east and sets in the west, Tezuka did not take being called careless very well.
XXX
Millay Ashford had a secret. A secret she cleverly hides behind brilliant smiles and dramatic gestures appropriate of the Council President airhead that she's grown into. A secret that she could never speak of or risk losing Shirley. A secret she didn't know existed and when she did, all she could do was pretend that it didn't.
Millay was in love and engaged. It would have been a perfect fairy tale ending if the object of her affections and the one seeking her hand was the same man. But fate was not to be but it was okay, she had perfected her false smile and nobody would know better.
The man she loved and the man to be her husband were uncannily alike. Not in features or stature, no. But they had more in common then they realised and Millay knew neither would ever love her the way her dreams were made of. Both of them could never come close because she could never be part of their world. A world of tactics, pride and hate. A vision of violence, bloodshed and loss. Millay didn't need the tears or the unnecessary pain, she had seen enough to last the lifetime. To them, she was a stepping stone. A passing name with an interchangeable face or how Lloyd would put it - a tool for his pupose. A small component of their big picture, that was all they deigned her to be and Millay took it in her stride, head held high.
Beneath her airy laughs and the toss of her golden hair, Millay knew more than they would give her credit for. She knew her existence was crucial to restore her family's noble status and getting engaged to the eccentric Earl was part of the plan. So she chose to bury her secret, it was the least she could do. Between being needed by Lloyd and secretly loving Lelouch, Millay chose to be needed. Afterall, in order to survive, even if she only at the edge of their worlds, being needed was the key.
On a side note, can ANYONE tell me where to watch Bleach/R2/Vampire Knight/Reborn without breaking bandwidth? I need to catch up and Internet is expensive in Sydney thankyouverymuch D; Anyone willing to burn it for me? ;D Oh and I signed up to translate the Chinese live action version of POT. I know it's a VERY bad idea but I've offered myself up for slaughter so yeah, I'm dead =_="