the strains of everyday
its hard to wake up somedays.
how will i ever get this out of my head? sometimes i feel that life is the worst joke of all time. look at her...she's not just any girl. she's the one.
i won't ever be able to tell her how i feel. Even if i did, what would that result in? She'll never talk to me again.
as it is, i have a hard enough time talking to her.
Why do I keep doing this to myself? i spend so much time just going over what i would say if it ever came down to it. also, i can't ever work up the nerve to let her know everything. how could i tell her that i've watched her for almost 5 years now. i mean, i know its not love, but it sure feels like it. . . whatever that is.
for five long years i've been sure to play it cool and be nice and keep my teeth clean just incase she walks by. i've spent so much time dreaming. i've wasted too much of my life on this little hope, this little chance, this small wish that perhaps oneday...someday...somehow there will be a chance to at least get half way to telling her what she does to me.
i mean, how do these things happen anyway? who is she? why is she in my life? to torture me?
her smile makes the worst days worth reliving over and over.
i know, i know, you think it's not worth it to beat myself up over this or its just a girl...i know. i am totally aware that this is all just in my head, but what i see...when she walks by...the way she looks at me...her smile...her wave hello...her eyes right around sunset...her hair...the way she laughs from the side of her mouth...the way she narrows her eyes when she is pretend fighting...the way she talks about her friends...they just kill me.
this kills me.
i've often debated moving to another country just so it'll serve as a distraction from her. however, i would probably move back just to casually run into her at a coffee shop here.
it hurts, i love it, i love her, it hurts.
what can i do? i'm just tired of having no one but in my head being commited to this one girl.
Kelly, she's the air around me, always.
how will i ever get this out of my head? sometimes i feel that life is the worst joke of all time. look at her...she's not just any girl. she's the one.
i won't ever be able to tell her how i feel. Even if i did, what would that result in? She'll never talk to me again.
as it is, i have a hard enough time talking to her.
Why do I keep doing this to myself? i spend so much time just going over what i would say if it ever came down to it. also, i can't ever work up the nerve to let her know everything. how could i tell her that i've watched her for almost 5 years now. i mean, i know its not love, but it sure feels like it. . . whatever that is.
for five long years i've been sure to play it cool and be nice and keep my teeth clean just incase she walks by. i've spent so much time dreaming. i've wasted too much of my life on this little hope, this little chance, this small wish that perhaps oneday...someday...somehow there will be a chance to at least get half way to telling her what she does to me.
i mean, how do these things happen anyway? who is she? why is she in my life? to torture me?
her smile makes the worst days worth reliving over and over.
i know, i know, you think it's not worth it to beat myself up over this or its just a girl...i know. i am totally aware that this is all just in my head, but what i see...when she walks by...the way she looks at me...her smile...her wave hello...her eyes right around sunset...her hair...the way she laughs from the side of her mouth...the way she narrows her eyes when she is pretend fighting...the way she talks about her friends...they just kill me.
this kills me.
i've often debated moving to another country just so it'll serve as a distraction from her. however, i would probably move back just to casually run into her at a coffee shop here.
it hurts, i love it, i love her, it hurts.
what can i do? i'm just tired of having no one but in my head being commited to this one girl.
Kelly, she's the air around me, always.