Moderation In All Things Save Love (Cupid, het, R)nindulgenceMarch 27 2008, 17:54:58 UTC
Whee! Cupidfic!
I'm among those who tend towards the view that Trevor's actually Cupid (because things are more fun that way!) so I enjoyed all the spot-the-god cameos here, particularly the image of Chloe in the wheat field.
I did feel, as the fic progressed, that a few more specific character touches would have been helpful to make Claire and Alex recognizably Claire and Alex rather than a generalized happy couple. It felt as if there wasn't quite enough dialogue between the two--I realize you're going for a lyrical tone here, but zingy banter and clever, fast-talking arguments are such an integral part of the Cupid universe that, to my ear, the characters don't really sound like themselves without them.
I did like Claire's Trevor, this cup of coffee would be a better investment at the start: that sounded note-perfect. I also liked the recognition on both Claire's and Alex's parts that she's the logical, deliberate, hesitant one--that would have been interesting to see explored in dialogue/argument rather than in summary--as well as the occasional references to Alex's journalist's awareness of historical details of the places they visit.
And on a completely random note, I really enjoyed the image of the wind-blown (luck-blown?) lottery ticket flirting with the feet of passers-by--pretty!
Re: Moderation In All Things Save Love (Cupid, het, R)thepouncerMarch 28 2008, 15:07:34 UTC
Thank you for reading, and I really appreciate the detailed feedback you give. It's so much *fun* if Trevor really is a god - think of all the mischief that he could get into if his family came to town!
I was slightly worried about losing the thread of characterization amid the happiness, but it was difficult for me to come up with ideas on how to make them more distinct (also, the final 1500 words were written in a rush - perhaps a bit more reflection would have let me think of things).
Re: Moderation In All Things Save Love (Cupid, het, R)nindulgenceMarch 28 2008, 16:48:12 UTC
Finishing in a rush!--I know the feeling. (Er, not lately, of course--that would require actually writing something. *g*)
It's so much *fun* if Trevor really is a god - think of all the mischief that he could get into if his family came to town!
Yes, exactly! I know you're not a Trevor/Claire shipper, but I've always wanted to write the story where Trevor's mother (wink, wink) shows up just as he's on the verge of finishing up his hundred and she then proceeds to give Claire a super-hard time a la Aphrodite and Psyche in the myth...but that darned banter scares me off every time. There's nothing worse (well, there is, but you know what I mean) than saying to yourself "Okay, time to write something that sounds effortlessly funny!" and then sitting there staring in desperation at a blank screen. *sigh*
I had never thought of bringing the whole pantheon into a story, though--this was a very cool idea.
I'm among those who tend towards the view that Trevor's actually Cupid (because things are more fun that way!) so I enjoyed all the spot-the-god cameos here, particularly the image of Chloe in the wheat field.
I did feel, as the fic progressed, that a few more specific character touches would have been helpful to make Claire and Alex recognizably Claire and Alex rather than a generalized happy couple. It felt as if there wasn't quite enough dialogue between the two--I realize you're going for a lyrical tone here, but zingy banter and clever, fast-talking arguments are such an integral part of the Cupid universe that, to my ear, the characters don't really sound like themselves without them.
I did like Claire's Trevor, this cup of coffee would be a better investment at the start: that sounded note-perfect. I also liked the recognition on both Claire's and Alex's parts that she's the logical, deliberate, hesitant one--that would have been interesting to see explored in dialogue/argument rather than in summary--as well as the occasional references to Alex's journalist's awareness of historical details of the places they visit.
And on a completely random note, I really enjoyed the image of the wind-blown (luck-blown?) lottery ticket flirting with the feet of passers-by--pretty!
Thanks for writing!
~
Reply
I was slightly worried about losing the thread of characterization amid the happiness, but it was difficult for me to come up with ideas on how to make them more distinct (also, the final 1500 words were written in a rush - perhaps a bit more reflection would have let me think of things).
Reply
It's so much *fun* if Trevor really is a god - think of all the mischief that he could get into if his family came to town!
Yes, exactly! I know you're not a Trevor/Claire shipper, but I've always wanted to write the story where Trevor's mother (wink, wink) shows up just as he's on the verge of finishing up his hundred and she then proceeds to give Claire a super-hard time a la Aphrodite and Psyche in the myth...but that darned banter scares me off every time. There's nothing worse (well, there is, but you know what I mean) than saying to yourself "Okay, time to write something that sounds effortlessly funny!" and then sitting there staring in desperation at a blank screen. *sigh*
I had never thought of bringing the whole pantheon into a story, though--this was a very cool idea.
~
Reply
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