FUCK YOU, IT'S NOT MY FAULT I KEEP GETTING RIPPED OUT OF THE FABRIC OF REALITY OR WHAT THE FUCK EVER.
AND WHAT WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT. SHE HAS TWO FUCKING CATS ALREADY. WE DON'T NEED MORE CATS, WHAT THE SHITTING FUCK WOULD POSSESS YOU TO THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT WE NEED MORE CATS.
YEAH, MAYBE I SHOULD, BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY YOU ALL NEED SOMEBODY TO STOP YOU FROM MAKING THESE KINDS OF PANTS ON HEAD RETARDED DECISIONS. THEY'RE MAMMALS, ASSHOLE. IF YOU LEAVE A BUNCH OF THEM TOGETHER THEY'LL JUST MAKE MORE OF THEMSELVES AND THE NEXT THING WE KNOW THE ENTIRE FUCKING HIVE WILL BE OVERRUN WITH SCREAMING VIVIPAROUS CARNIVORES SHITTING ON EVERYTHING AND COSTING MONEY WE DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE ANY MORE. I AM VETOING CATS, CATS ARE OFFICIALLY VETOED. NO MORE CATS.
Pants on Head Retarded. I really need to start writing these down. Speaking of Pants on Head Retarded, cats only procreate when they aren't fixed, numbnuts. I'm actually a responsible pet owner and make sure all of the animals I take in are, in part because I agree that it's way too easy for a place to get overrun if they're not. We're not starving, are we? Chill out. Check out some paper routes or something, kids are allowed to do those. And bite me, if I want a cat I'll get a goddamn fucking cat. I'm not asking you to pay for it or take care of it, and if it gets your panties in that much of a twist it'll stay in my room so I don't have to fear you're going to eat it some day.
YEAH WE'RE NOT STARVING BUT IF THIS KEEPS UP WE'RE GOING TO BE. I DON'T KNOW IF YOU NOTICED BUT THERE ARE KIND OF A LOT OF US!! KIND OF A LOT OF US WHO CAN'T GET A GOD DAMN "PAPER ROUTE" BECAUSE NOBODY WANTS TO HIRE A FUCKING ALIEN. YOU'RE STILL NOT ALLOWED TO GET MORE CATS, BECAUSE I SAID SO. I AM PUTTING MY PERAMBULATORY ORGAN DOWN, JACKASS.
Trust me I've noticed. And you know as someone who is actually vaguely invested in preventing you guys from starving I should think I get a say in what else I spend my money on. But if it's that much of a problem, I could easily find somewhere else to live and get a bloody cat.
NO GIVING HALF A SHIT ABOUT US NOT DYING DOESN'T GIVE YOU A SAY IN WHAT STUPID EARTH ANIMALS YOU BRING INTO OUR HIVE. NOBODY'S MAKING YOU LIVE HERE, ASSHOLE.
...Take it from me, kid, that attitude isn't going to get you anywhere you'll be happy with. But all right, that's fair. Your place, your rules. There'll be an extra room for another kid this way.
They're not all my cats, for starters. And mostly I'm clearing out because at twenty-four, I'm a little too old to be taking orders from a crazy alien kid with anger management issues. I'll still help you guys out.
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Nepeta's birthday. Is there a problem, O Perpetually Absent House Leader?
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AND
WHAT
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT.
SHE HAS TWO FUCKING CATS ALREADY. WE DON'T NEED MORE CATS, WHAT THE SHITTING FUCK WOULD POSSESS YOU TO THINK FOR A MOMENT THAT WE NEED MORE CATS.
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What's so wrong with cats, we live in a fucking warehouse. I'll keep one in my room, you won't even have to look at the damn thing.
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THEY'RE MAMMALS, ASSHOLE.
IF YOU LEAVE A BUNCH OF THEM TOGETHER THEY'LL JUST MAKE MORE OF THEMSELVES AND THE NEXT THING WE KNOW THE ENTIRE FUCKING HIVE WILL BE OVERRUN WITH SCREAMING VIVIPAROUS CARNIVORES SHITTING ON EVERYTHING AND COSTING MONEY WE DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE ANY MORE.
I AM VETOING CATS, CATS ARE OFFICIALLY VETOED.
NO MORE CATS.
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Speaking of Pants on Head Retarded, cats only procreate when they aren't fixed, numbnuts. I'm actually a responsible pet owner and make sure all of the animals I take in are, in part because I agree that it's way too easy for a place to get overrun if they're not.
We're not starving, are we? Chill out. Check out some paper routes or something, kids are allowed to do those.
And bite me, if I want a cat I'll get a goddamn fucking cat. I'm not asking you to pay for it or take care of it, and if it gets your panties in that much of a twist it'll stay in my room so I don't have to fear you're going to eat it some day.
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YOU'RE STILL NOT ALLOWED TO GET MORE CATS, BECAUSE I SAID SO. I AM PUTTING MY PERAMBULATORY ORGAN DOWN, JACKASS.
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And you know as someone who is actually vaguely invested in preventing you guys from starving I should think I get a say in what else I spend my money on.
But if it's that much of a problem, I could easily find somewhere else to live and get a bloody cat.
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GIVING HALF A SHIT ABOUT US NOT DYING DOESN'T GIVE YOU A SAY IN WHAT STUPID EARTH ANIMALS YOU BRING INTO OUR HIVE.
NOBODY'S MAKING YOU LIVE HERE, ASSHOLE.
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But all right, that's fair. Your place, your rules. There'll be an extra room for another kid this way.
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WHAT THE SHIT, ARE YOU SERIOUSLY CLEARING OUT JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T HAVE FOUR FUCKING CATS?
THAT'S THE STUPIDEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD.
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And mostly I'm clearing out because at twenty-four, I'm a little too old to be taking orders from a crazy alien kid with anger management issues.
I'll still help you guys out.
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