[ 16; video, backdated to before Illyana's post ]

[water_whipped]

[ Katara is pushing a shopping cart already filled with tons of chocolate making supplies, cellophane, ribbons and candy. ]

So Pixie and I have decided that we're going to make Valentine's Day fun.

[Pixie is hovering by the cart and dumping in various other holiday items. And glitter. Lots and lots of glitter.]

This is totally the best idea we'

Comments

TEXT

[hate_actually]

OH, WOW, YOU'RE GOING TO GET MORONS JUST LINING THE FUCK UP FOR THIS VALUABLE SERVICE. I BET NOTHING SAYS PATHETICALLY LIMITED HUMAN ROMANCE LIKE A FACE FULL OF POINTLESS SPARKLY SHIT!

TEXT

[water_whipped]

What makes it so limited?

TEXT

[hate_actually]

WOW WHERE DO I EVEN START??

THE ONLY KIND OF ROMANCE HUMANS EVEN RECOGNIZE IS FLUSHED, WHICH MAKES LITERALLY NO SENSE AT ALL BECAUSE THAT'S ONLY ONE PART OF A BALANCED FOUR QUADRANT SYSTEM. I DON'T KNOW HOW THE FUCK ANY OF YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE EMOTIONALLY GRATIFIED THAT WAY.

AND THEN AS IF THAT WASN'T STUPID ENOUGH, YOU ALL RESTRICT YOURSELVES TO ONE GENDER FOR NO FUCKING REASON. IT'S LIKE YOU GO OUT OF YOUR WAY TO STIFLE YOURSELVES OR SOMETHING, I AM HONESTLY AMAZED YOU EVEN MANAGE TO REPRODUCE.

voice;

[water_whipped]

[ Sorry, her texting skills just aren't good enough for this. ]

First, I'm not sure what you mean by four quadrant system?? I think I need a little more information before I can decide if I'm being deprived in emotional gratification. To be honest, I'm not currently involved in what you would describe as a romance and I don't think I'm lacking in anything emotionally!

I think there's something to be said about being happy with yourself before you can be happy with other people.

Second, not everyone restricts themselves to one gender. In purely biological terms, though, um, only a male and female can reproduce. With each other.

[ There's a pause because oh god she is not giving a sex talk to a stranger. ]

Who are you?

TEXT

[hate_actually]

I'M AN ALIEN WHO UNDERSTANDS ROMANCE BETTER THAN YOU DO, FUCKASS

STILL VOICE;

[water_whipped]

Well, it's not really so difficult to understand, then. Humans have analogs to all of those, erm, quadrants, although we don't always consider them romance and they don't all need to be filled for us to feel emotionally gratified. I can certainly understand fondness, and hate, and caring about someone, and wanting to stop two people who hate each other from killing one another.

It's unfair to label our entire species backward because we have no knowledge of something we didn't know existed, isn't it?

STILL TEXT

[hate_actually]

WHAT? NO, IT'S TOTALLY FAIR. I MEAN IF YOU DISCOVERED A PLANET INHABITED BY ALIENS WHO DIDN'T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT WHEN YOU TRIED TO EXPLAIN YOUR HUMAN CONCEPT OF LOVE

OR FIRE

OR THE WHEEL

EVEN THOUGH THEY HAD THOUSANDS OF SWEEPS OF CIVILIZATION TO WORK THAT SHIT OUT

THEY WOULD TOTALLY BE FUCKING BACKWARDS AND YOU WOULD CALL THEM THAT BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT THEY WOULD BE.

ALSO IT'S NOT THE SAME AT ALL, OKAY, THE CULTURAL IMPACTS OF YOUR "ANALOGS" ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT *BECAUSE* YOU DON'T RECOGNIZE THEM AS ROMANCE, THAT'S THE ENTIRE PROBLEM. HUMANS TOTALLY UNDERVALUE HATE TO THE POINT THAT THEY CAN'T EVEN COMPREHEND KISMESSITUDE, THAT'S WHY YOU'RE ALL SO FUCKING PATHETIC.

VOICE FOREVER

[water_whipped]

I didn't say it was the same. I said I could understand.

You can think what you want. Obviously I'm not going to be able to say anything to change your mind. But personally? I'm perfectly happy to be in the complete dark about black romance.

If that makes me pathetic, fine.

TEXT FOREVER

[hate_actually]

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, HOLY FUCK. YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU ALL THINK HATE IS A BAD THING! HOW IN THE MOTHER GRUB'S SLIME-LUBRICATED OVIPOSITOR DOES THAT CONSTITUTE UNDERSTANDING.

VOICE FOREVER;

[water_whipped]

Hate for you is a biologic imperative, right? You need to be able to feel hate in order to ensure the passing of your genes.

[ Thank goodness for high school biology. ]

Nothing like that exists for humans, so we didn't evolve that way. Hate for, well, some of us, is needless, and only leads to senseless violence, suffering, and death.

[hate_actually]

RIGHT, EXACTLY. EVOLUTION HAS JUST SCREWED YOUR ENTIRE SPECIES OVER WITH THIS PRIMITIVE REPRODUCTIVE SYSTEM YOU HAVE. IT'S PRETTY FUCKING SAD.

[water_whipped]

I refuse to argue with you about the merits of human reproduction. I don't even like to talk about that kind of stuff with my friends, argh.

[hate_actually]

DO YOU THINK *I* WANT TO TALK ABOUT YOUR DISGUSTING MATING PRACTICES? YOUR SPECIES IS TERRIBLE AND DEFICIENT, LET'S LEAVE IT AT THAT.

[water_whipped]

Well, what's your species, hotshot?

[hate_actually]

I'M A TROLL.

[water_whipped]

Like Sollux and Terezi?