(no subject)
i hardly liked being just another boring chapter in someone elses life. i've said this time and time again, my habits are geared to bring out the best in people. thats probably why its so difficult for me to open up to someone. or to her, for that matter. im afraid of revealing who i really am, my true attributes, and having them emotionally molested. its happened before, and i'll be damned to see it happen again.
(this is how i felt about 2 minutes ago)
a few seconds ago, my computer was logging onto the web. i closed my eyes as the song "till i see you" by Hillsong London was playing. and I heard a thin voice say, "you dont know how much i love you, i love you polo, more than life". the hardness in my heart began to break, my eyes began to water, nothing in hell could keep my tears from welling up within my eyelids...
i've opened up to people in the past, and they've dissapointed me, some severely. but God never dissapointed me, never, not once. and by golly, that's enough for me. i dont care if people mishandle my trust. as long as i know He is here, im content. i will break this infection, this curse i have of opening up to people and backing away. im gonna share God's love from the slightest of handshakes, to hardyest of prayers.
"Lord, im drenched in a river of Your love. Your love has set me free from sin, free from failure, free from this world and its problems.... i'm free to love you father, more than those who came before me - I am free to be myself, and sacrifice that which is most dear to me (me), just to share Your love with someone else"
i think im ready to let God's love pour through me like a vessel, and if this vessel breaks, i trust that he'll patch me right up again.
(this is how i felt about 2 minutes ago)
a few seconds ago, my computer was logging onto the web. i closed my eyes as the song "till i see you" by Hillsong London was playing. and I heard a thin voice say, "you dont know how much i love you, i love you polo, more than life". the hardness in my heart began to break, my eyes began to water, nothing in hell could keep my tears from welling up within my eyelids...
i've opened up to people in the past, and they've dissapointed me, some severely. but God never dissapointed me, never, not once. and by golly, that's enough for me. i dont care if people mishandle my trust. as long as i know He is here, im content. i will break this infection, this curse i have of opening up to people and backing away. im gonna share God's love from the slightest of handshakes, to hardyest of prayers.
"Lord, im drenched in a river of Your love. Your love has set me free from sin, free from failure, free from this world and its problems.... i'm free to love you father, more than those who came before me - I am free to be myself, and sacrifice that which is most dear to me (me), just to share Your love with someone else"
i think im ready to let God's love pour through me like a vessel, and if this vessel breaks, i trust that he'll patch me right up again.