Moments
Sometimes, when a specific period of time is drawing to a close, like a semester, or a holiday break, (you know, hypothetically speaking and all) I get to feeling like it went by too quickly and I've once again managed to waste precious time in my life. I think, "Wow, I could have tried to see more people" or "Wow, I could have read more" or "Wow, I could have used the word 'wow' to express my every emotion." As wasted opportunities gather in my head I begin to feel useless.
But recently I realized something (prepare for this entry to go completely cheeseball).
As I go about my life, living, doing things or not doing things, memories of it are stored in me and I'm beginning to notice a distinction between where different memories are stored. Memories of times wasted; watching TV because I'm bored, sleeping in too late, and playing online euchre are all stored in my brain, and consequently I think about them, and become saddened. My brain says, "Wow, Seth, three weeks down the drain, and all you have to show for it is not-so-fond memories of Clean Sweep and Monster House." And it's so easy to let this thinking control me because the majority of time during my day is spent doing things I will look back on and deem useless. But when focusing on these times, I forget about the small blocks of time which fill the gaps; the moments. It's the moments that I will fondly remember but sadly less often bring to mind simply because they're hidden deeper within me: in my heart. With that said, I would like to go ahead and take the time to honor my favorite moments since being back in Wton for holiday.
--Talking with Andy on the sidewalk between our houses. I can't even remember exactly what we were talking about, but I remember laughing and walking away with faith renewed in a friendship that, while lacking contact, will never sour because of the kind of guy Andy is and my desire to have and keep such a faithful friend.
--The 15 hour Degrassi marathon with Mason. Granted, 15 hours is a long moment but I think Mason would agree that after starting at 2pm, when we crept closer to the 5am point it all kind of melted into one. So many separate moments flood this 15 hours that it would be hard to do the marathon any justice, but our motto truly became, "Whatever it takes, I know I can make it through."
--My sister and I getting our picture taken with Santa. If there's anyone that I can be a little kid with it's my big sis and it was a blessing to spend so much time with her over break.
--Kevin calling me out on my failure to write to him. While I did feel bad, it's always great to know that a friend values your friendship enough to call you out when you're slacking. I'm encouraged.
--Speaking to my parents' Sunday School class with Jen, and especially preparing for it. Everytime I hang out with Jen is a reminder of the amazing benefits of a God-centered friendship, and hearing from her encourages my faith more than could be made known, even to me I'm sure.
--Randomly running into Hunter and sitting with him at the Vineyard Christmas Eve service. Hunter may win the all-time "Wish I Would Have Spent More Time With Him" award as I can't remember an unhappy time spent with him.
--Poker night. It was small, and I went bankrupt, but between the combonation of guys present, the hilarious comments, and the overall mood, this truly was a perfect moment.
--Leaving Bloomington at 4am, nodding off during the drive, arriving in Wton at 8am and instead of going to bed, discussing my faith with my parents. I was cold and my voice was shaking, but it wasn't cold in my house. I was nervous and scared but a dialogue was opened which I pray remains open and leads to an assurance and happiness which neither of them can imagine.
--Taking an hour and a half nap instead of actually sleeping after the aforementioned drive and going down to Mike's house to chillax on the couch with him. The first one of the guys I saw during break. A friendship which has had it's valleys and peaks and continues to way so heavily on my heart.
--New Years Eve. Despite my inability to overcome my mild hatred of alcohol, I actually had a pretty great time. Watching my friends, spread across the entire spectrum of drunkeness and soberness, battle it out in Halo and curse at each other from the next room. I love my friends dearly and wouldn't change them if I had the chance.
--Matching up with Jordan during some 4 on 4. I'm not sure if I've ever played two straight hours of ball in my life, and am sure that it won't happen again but 3 from behind the arc is a new record for me and lets me consider retiring from the game anyway. Despite going to the same school, I may have spent more time with Jordan here at home than during the entire first semester. Truly a friend that knows me well and I the same with him; something I couldn't see ever changing.
So I didn't mean for so many moments, it's gotten quite late typing all this. I feel like this entry is like that first episode of Saved By the Bell after the summer working at the beach club where Zack stayes home from school and his friends all come over and reminisce about the summer. Regardless, I think I'm going to do whatever I can do forget about the time wasted, the memories of my head, and instead focus on the moments in my heart.
But recently I realized something (prepare for this entry to go completely cheeseball).
As I go about my life, living, doing things or not doing things, memories of it are stored in me and I'm beginning to notice a distinction between where different memories are stored. Memories of times wasted; watching TV because I'm bored, sleeping in too late, and playing online euchre are all stored in my brain, and consequently I think about them, and become saddened. My brain says, "Wow, Seth, three weeks down the drain, and all you have to show for it is not-so-fond memories of Clean Sweep and Monster House." And it's so easy to let this thinking control me because the majority of time during my day is spent doing things I will look back on and deem useless. But when focusing on these times, I forget about the small blocks of time which fill the gaps; the moments. It's the moments that I will fondly remember but sadly less often bring to mind simply because they're hidden deeper within me: in my heart. With that said, I would like to go ahead and take the time to honor my favorite moments since being back in Wton for holiday.
--Talking with Andy on the sidewalk between our houses. I can't even remember exactly what we were talking about, but I remember laughing and walking away with faith renewed in a friendship that, while lacking contact, will never sour because of the kind of guy Andy is and my desire to have and keep such a faithful friend.
--The 15 hour Degrassi marathon with Mason. Granted, 15 hours is a long moment but I think Mason would agree that after starting at 2pm, when we crept closer to the 5am point it all kind of melted into one. So many separate moments flood this 15 hours that it would be hard to do the marathon any justice, but our motto truly became, "Whatever it takes, I know I can make it through."
--My sister and I getting our picture taken with Santa. If there's anyone that I can be a little kid with it's my big sis and it was a blessing to spend so much time with her over break.
--Kevin calling me out on my failure to write to him. While I did feel bad, it's always great to know that a friend values your friendship enough to call you out when you're slacking. I'm encouraged.
--Speaking to my parents' Sunday School class with Jen, and especially preparing for it. Everytime I hang out with Jen is a reminder of the amazing benefits of a God-centered friendship, and hearing from her encourages my faith more than could be made known, even to me I'm sure.
--Randomly running into Hunter and sitting with him at the Vineyard Christmas Eve service. Hunter may win the all-time "Wish I Would Have Spent More Time With Him" award as I can't remember an unhappy time spent with him.
--Poker night. It was small, and I went bankrupt, but between the combonation of guys present, the hilarious comments, and the overall mood, this truly was a perfect moment.
--Leaving Bloomington at 4am, nodding off during the drive, arriving in Wton at 8am and instead of going to bed, discussing my faith with my parents. I was cold and my voice was shaking, but it wasn't cold in my house. I was nervous and scared but a dialogue was opened which I pray remains open and leads to an assurance and happiness which neither of them can imagine.
--Taking an hour and a half nap instead of actually sleeping after the aforementioned drive and going down to Mike's house to chillax on the couch with him. The first one of the guys I saw during break. A friendship which has had it's valleys and peaks and continues to way so heavily on my heart.
--New Years Eve. Despite my inability to overcome my mild hatred of alcohol, I actually had a pretty great time. Watching my friends, spread across the entire spectrum of drunkeness and soberness, battle it out in Halo and curse at each other from the next room. I love my friends dearly and wouldn't change them if I had the chance.
--Matching up with Jordan during some 4 on 4. I'm not sure if I've ever played two straight hours of ball in my life, and am sure that it won't happen again but 3 from behind the arc is a new record for me and lets me consider retiring from the game anyway. Despite going to the same school, I may have spent more time with Jordan here at home than during the entire first semester. Truly a friend that knows me well and I the same with him; something I couldn't see ever changing.
So I didn't mean for so many moments, it's gotten quite late typing all this. I feel like this entry is like that first episode of Saved By the Bell after the summer working at the beach club where Zack stayes home from school and his friends all come over and reminisce about the summer. Regardless, I think I'm going to do whatever I can do forget about the time wasted, the memories of my head, and instead focus on the moments in my heart.